How to overcome dysfunctional fear: a process of change for your whole life.

Several key ideas on how to properly manage dysfunctional fear.

Fear is probably the emotion that conditions us the most and is behind many of our usual problems and limits. and is behind many of our usual problems and limits.

We have very common fears of loneliness, of losing, of risk, of not feeling loved, of rejection or suffering. Fear is also behind feelings such as guilt, insecurity, anxiety, anguish or even anger. However, the problem is not the fear... but your way of managing and understanding that fear.

Fear is a useful emotion and serves mainly for survival. When we talk about "negative emotions", we are not really referring to the emotion itself, but rather to the way you manage and understand that emotion. It serves to protect you and to be clear about your limits, and it is even common to educate children using fear as a strategy to keep them safe.

The problem is when fear tries to protect us from a situation that is not really dangerous and is only limiting your life. If you live with that kind of fear, it is a dysfunctional fear..

What is a dysfunctional fear?

When your way of understanding and managing your emotions lead you to dysfunctional fears (or anger, guilt, stress, anxiety, etc.), it means that those emotions are not helping you to grow, to know yourself better and to live with more well-being, but are only limiting your life.

Dysfunctional fear is the basis of the vast majority of problems. Anger is a form of active fear (when you cannot avoid what you are afraid of, you react with anger to try to be in control). Guilt is also a form of fear (as you fear the consequences on yourself or your self-image). Suffering, anxiety or anguish are also forms of fear (creating a more are also forms of fear (which create a more unpleasant physiological state for you... it is fear taken to a higher intensity).

How to overcome dysfunctional fear?

At certain moments of our life we want to live a process of deep change because there are situations or experiences that are repeated and are usually unpleasant, as if we were living in a circle from which we cannot get out.

This can happen to us both in our personal life (family, couple, self-esteem, etc.) and in our professional life (in relation to undertakings, projects, with our work team, etc.). Whatever the problem, dysfunctional fear is always behind these problems.

In the last 10 years, as a psychologist and coach, I have accompanied people from several different countries in very deep change processes. Sooner or later, whatever the process was, people had to face certain fears in order to overcome them, people had to face certain fears in order to overcome them.. However, the key was not to overcome those fears as if they were enemies (since they are part of oneself), but to understand their emotions more deeply and to know how to manage them in a more functional way.

This is not something that can be achieved in a few days (with books, talks and other resources that are interesting but do not help to achieve a real change by themselves) but in a series of weeks or a few months through a deep process, committed and with the company that allows you to broaden your point of view and better understand that fear so that your emotions are on your side instead of against you..

This is really what an emotion management process (also called "emotional intelligence") is all about. It is not about following advice or tips, but about living a process of change where your emotions come to the surface and you know how to understand and manage them. Your fears, in reality, are only giving you information about yourselfAnd when you understand it, everything that happens to you will change.

A process of emotional training

I invite you to visit empoderamientohumano.com, the online school of personal development that I created to accompany people who want to live their process of change with expert company and from home and with freedom of schedules. In the school you will find a free program called Get excited to take the first steps, and also a 3-month deep change program.

How does a process of change to overcome fear work? This personal evolution follows these steps:

1- Learn to understand your emotions

So you find out how you manage them now: in this phase it is about to get to know yourself better and answer key questions that help you to go deeper into your emotions.

2. Design an action plan to help you manage your emotions differently.

This takes the form of changes in relation to what you do, interpret and feel. From this moment you discover the relationship between your emotions and your beliefs, your way of communicating, your personal relationships, your work or your self-esteem.

3. Managing relationships

Finally, you learn to manage your emotions in a more functional way so that fear is left far behind, and you internalize it in your life so that this change will last forever.

In a few weeks the changes are already felt and after 3 months the fear is still there, but it no longer dominates your life. That is the key: do not fight against your emotions, but understand them and have them on your side. Emotions are nothing more than your traveling companions and the fundamental energy on which your behavior is based.