Caring for the caregiver

| The lives of those who care for a dependent elderly person can be affected in many ways

Caring for a family member who depends on our help to meet their needs can be a moving and fulfilling experience.

It can make us discover qualities, aptitudes or talents in ourselves in the many tasks involved that would otherwise have gone unnoticed. Likewise, it can strengthen the relationship with the person we care for or with other family members and make us discover interesting facets in them that until then had remained hidden from us. A large part of caregivers, despite possible troubles, discover the intimate satisfaction of being useful to their closest relatives.

How does the life of a caregiver change?

The lives of those who care for a dependent elderly person can be affected in many ways. They often experience changes in family relationships, work and financial situation, free time, health, or mood. The character of these transformations can also be positive, although they tend to consider their consequences as exclusively negative. These are usually:

• Changes in family relationships (assuming new roles, conflicts ...)
• Changes in work and financial situation (absenteeism, increased expenses ...)
• Changes in free time (decrease in time dedicated to leisure, family, friends ...)
• Changes in health status (fatigue, ...)
• Changes in mood (feelings of sadness, irritability, worry, guilt ...)

It is considered that in people who care for a dependent family member or close friend, the so-called caregiver syndrome may develop due to overload, caused by the difficulty that the radical change in their way of life entails for the caregiver and the wear and tear that it causes. see how a loved one progressively loses their physical and mental faculties as the course of the disease progresses.

Caring for someone carries a great physical and mental burden; responsibilities are acquired with respect to the life of the patient: medication, hygiene, care, food, etc. The caregiver gradually loses his independence, because the patient is becoming more and more dependent. He neglects himself: he does not dedicate the free time necessary for his leisure, he abandons his hobbies, he does not go out with his friends, etc.

Physical consequences and other problems

On a physical level: chronic fatigue, headaches, joint pain, digestive problems.

• On a mental level: depression, sleep disorders, anxiety, irritability.
• On a social level: loss of free time, loneliness, isolation.

It can be suspected that there is already an overload in the caregiver of a dependent person when the following situations appear:

• Sleep problems (waking up at dawn, difficulty falling asleep, too sleepy, ...).
• Loss of energy, chronic fatigue, feeling of continuous tiredness, etc.
• Isolation.
• Excessive consumption of caffeinated beverages, alcohol or tobacco, as well as abuse of sleeping pills or other medications.
• Physical problems: palpitations, hand tremors, digestive discomfort, etc.
• Memory problems and difficulty concentrating.
• Less interest in activities and people that were previously the object of interest.
• Increased or decreased appetite.
• Get angry easily.
• Giving too much importance to small details.
• Frequent mood or mood swings.
• Propensity to suffer accidents.
• Difficulty overcoming feelings of depression or nervousness.
• Treat other people in the family less considerately than usual.

To treat this overload and especially to prevent it, it is important that the caregiver takes into account the following tips:

• First, reflect and realize that you have the right to lead a life of your own.
• It is important to delegate some of the responsibilities to the members that make up the social environment (family, friends, neighbors, etc.).
• It is advisable to find out about the public social aid to which you can have access.
• It is essential to communicate your feelings and fears to the rest of the family to make them share the problem, and avoid feeling guilty when you spend time with yourself.
• Do not isolate yourself. Maintain contact with friends or neighbors and participate in social gatherings.
• Contact people who are in the same condition. The caregiver needs to have friends and also new friends who may be experiencing a similar situation.
• Maintain activities that have always been fun for you: reading, sewing, modeling, going for a walk, etc.
• Get regular exercise.
• Try to find people, things, situations and activities that satisfy you.
• Leave a weekly time for yourself, periodically disconnect from obligations.
• Find a relative or neighbor to take care of the sick a few hours a week so that you can go out and relax.
• Do everything you can to stay healthy. You should see a doctor regularly. If the caregiver gets sick the situation can get worse.
• Get enough rest each day. Take advantage of the periods when the patient rests and, if possible, organize shifts at night.
• Learn to say "NO" to unreasonable requests and "WAIT" to non-urgent requests if you are busy with another activity. Autonomy should be promoted.
• Find out about the illness and dependence of the family member. This lets you know what to expect over time and organize long-term care, plan for the future.
• Create alternatives and "B plans" in case you cannot provide care for any unforeseen circumstance.
• Find information on the techniques necessary for better care: hygiene, mobilization, feeding, etc. It is advisable to consult the medical team without fear, as they are professionals who can inform and advise.
• Convey harmony and try to smile to relax the atmosphere. The sick will live happier around them better.