Why do I make mistakes when looking for a partner?

A list of possible mistakes you are making when looking for a love partner.

First dates are very important because the first impression we make on someone we have just met will have a great influence on the chances of seeing each other more times.

The saying that we should not trust first impressions is a very well known maxim, known in theory but not practiced in practice. In addition, there is the issue that mistakes can always be made that, regardless of whether they were in the first or in the other times we met our potential partner, ruined the relationship.

There are several frequent mistakes when looking for a partnerLet's find out what they are and avoid making them!

Common mistakes when looking for a partner

It has happened to all of us to have met someone we met on a flirting app or one night in a bar, we met him or her and, later, we never heard anything more of that person. It is inevitable that after this we wonder from time to time what could have gone wrong, what could have gone wrong, what could have gone wrong. What could have gone wrong, what did we do or say to make that person lose interest in us?.

It is often said that we should not trust first impressions, but the truth is that it is difficult not to fall into this trap as soon as we meet someone. Whether we want to or not, the first thing we perceive about a person will have a great influence on how we see him or her from now on.For this reason, and thinking about ourselves, we should always be careful with what we say or do on our first dates. If you make mistakes on that first date, chances are there won't be a second one.

There are many blunders we can make in our search for love. The first date can be a smooth event that will end in good results or, on the contrary, it can end in disaster. It all depends on what the daters do, and whether they make any of the following common dating mistakes.

Idealizing the first date

It is common that we are optimistic about the person we have met and we are already thinking about a future with him/her. It is normal to consider possible future scenarios in which the two of you are already a couple, but we should not get ahead of ourselves or become obsessed with it..

Obsessing that, every time we meet someone, that person is going to be the definitive one, besides being very naive, is something that will end up ruining the relationship even before it has begun.

The date will go as it will go, maybe well or maybe badly, if we idealize it and it doesn't come to fruition we will end up very frustrated, sinking into misery and not putting much effort into meeting new people in the coming weeks.

2. Showing desperation

Being desperate is understandable if we haven't met anyone special for months and months despite having tried. However, that may be our problem, that we are very desperate.

Desperation is not an attractive trait. Seeing that a person is anxious to find a partner does not inspire confidence.Besides, the other person will find it impossible not to think about what we have done wrong so that we have not been lucky in love even though it is evident that we have tried.

3. Having too much confidence

It is necessary to be careful with whom we trust. It cannot be that, as soon as we meet someone, in just one week we are already telling her everything about ourselves, no matter how much time we spend with her. This can be interpreted as our concept of intimacy is very lax, revealing personal things to anyone.

4. Not watching what you talk about

Choosing the topics of conversation on our first date is a fundamental aspect to get to know and develop a trusting relationship with the other person.. We must be very careful about what we talk about, but without closing ourselves to any question that our date asks us.

You can not always talk about intimacies, but neither should you resort to superficial topics such as the weather or how nice the walls of the restaurant are.

5. Talk about your past relationships

Forget about talking about your past and the intimacies you experienced with your previous relationships. Let's face it: talking about what we did with our ex-partner is neither sexy nor romantic. No one worth their salt wants to date someone who won't stop talking about their past relationship because, basically, it can be interpreted as not being over the breakup.

First we must focus on the person in front of us, think of a "we" as a whole in the present and what we are interested in the short-term future, ignoring the fact that we have had previous love experiences that did not work out. Once you and your date know each other better, you can go into the deeper details of your respective life histories, including what happened in your previous relationships.

6. Treating waiters badly

Some say that a person is truly known by the way he treats those in his service, like a waiter. And not only waiters, but also the employees of any store or their own subordinates.

The example of the waiter is the one that best fits the world of love, because many dates take place in restaurants. If on our date the first time we meet someone you see us treat the waiter in a way that you don't like, it is likely that there will not be a second time. it is probable that there will not be a second time.

7. Overdoing it with alcohol

True, not having even a beer or a glass of wine can be perceived as being too straight and boring, but the truth is that we should not forget that alcohol is a drug and should not be abused.. At most, we can drink the socially accepted minimum, without going overboard.

Too much alcohol puts you in a position where you are not in control of what you say or do. If you drink more than you can handle, you may show yourself to be too vulnerable or, on the contrary, you may behave aggressively, both of which are extremely bad for the development of a first date. Alcohol plays tricks and we should not allow it to play with us.

8. Talking only about yourself

When dating, avoid the temptation to talk only about yourself. Naturally, we will have to make ourselves known and explain who we are, what we do, what our hobbies are and other things of the sort; however, we must not become the center of attention, However, we should not make ourselves the center of the conversation After all, it is a date, a dialogue to get to know each other, not a soliloquy.

9. Talking about marriage and children

It may sound like a no-brainer, but getting ahead of yourself on the first date with such transcendental topics as getting married or having children is a very, very bad sign. Some people want to get married and some don't, but all of them share that they don't want to do it with someone they've just met.. There are many other topics to talk about, topics much less scary than when you want to get married or how many children you want to have.

10. Believing that your date should bring you happiness

Leaving the responsibility for your happiness to the other person is never a good option. All it will do is make her feel pressured and put her in a compromising position.. No one owes us happiness, but we are the ones who should look for it in the positive things that make up our lives.

Naturally, when we look for a partner we want that person to bring us happiness, but we must understand that this will happen when a relationship of trust, intimacy and mutual respect has been established, not when we start dating someone and only have casual encounters.

11. Being too insecure

On first dates we should not show an air of superiority and of being better than everyone else because no one likes pedantic and unbearable people. But, also, we must be careful about being too humble, because we can fall into the error of showing ourselves too insecure and submissive, something that is not attractive to the vast majority of people. Showing a low self-esteem repels any opportunity to have a partner. Negativism is always a turn-off.