4 signs of lack of affection in children

Childhood is a key stage, which is why it is necessary to satisfy affective needs.

Since affectivity and emotions have been at the center of scientific discussions, a large part of psychology and pedagogy have been interested in studying how affective experience has an impact on the construction of personality, especially during the early stages of development.

Thus, the affective dimension and its relationship with psychological development in childhood have had an important impact on education. That is why we will present below several signs of lack of affection in boys and girlsfollowed by a brief discussion of the opposite extreme: excessive affection.

The importance of affection in childhood

The affective dimension is currently considered one of the keys to psychological development. In other words, how affection is given and shared is related to the development of identity and psychological maturation from childhood onwards. the development of identity and psychological maturation from infancy onwards..

Affection, understood here as affinity, closeness, sympathy or affection, is not something that is acquired in isolation. It is a process that It is a process that takes place as we relate to othersSince the first people we relate to are our primary caregivers (whether family members or not), it is also these caregivers who help us to consolidate and give meaning to our affective experiences; experiences that, when integrated, generate frames of reference and action.

The child's immediate environment is the one that presents the world to him or her; and the type of affection he or she receives there is the same that he or she will expect to receive in environments outside of it. In the same way, the affection that the child receives in his or her immediate environment is the same affection that he or she will learn to have as a resource available to offer in other environments.

Thus, the affection that the child receives from his or her primary caregivers from his or her primary caregiversis an important part of what will help him or her to identify and relate in one way or another beyond his or her first environment.

4 signs of lack of affection in children.

Insofar as all our relationships are mediated by an affective dimension, to speak of lack of affection does not mean that affective responses or emotions have completely disappeared. Rather, it means that these responses are being produced in an insufficient or non-reciprocal manner.

That said, the lack of affection during childhood can manifest itself in many waysHowever, it is in the social dimension where it is usually more evident, since it is through emotions (among other factors) that we present ourselves to the world and relate to it.

Thus, four of the signs that may indicate that a child is in a situation of emotional deficiency are poor emotional control, conflictive relationships, personal insecurity, and negative self-concept.

1. Poor control of emotions

Perhaps this is the clearest sign that there is a lack of affection. If the child has had the opportunity to develop in a balanced affective environment, he or she will most likely recognize the different emotions and the social norms that accompany them.

If the opposite has occurred, it is likely that the child will have difficulties, for example, in tolerating frustration, or in knowing how it is or to know how to express anger or vulnerability appropriately.

In addition, emotional deprivation may have a different impact on boys and girls. Boys are generally brought up to be more intolerant of displays of affection, which means that they also develop more resources to deal with a possible lack of affection, at least at the private level. Due to the same gender socialization, it is usually boys who have less control over emotions such as anger in public spaces.

Girls, on the other hand, are generally educated to develop the affective dimension in an important way, so that they can be empathetic and responsive to others and to the needs of others. and to the needs of others; thus, it may be more difficult for them to assimilate these deficiencies, and they channel the lack of affection towards themselves.

2. Isolation or conflicting relationships with peers

In the midst of affective experiences, we establish an approach and a certain type of relationship. For example, we may tend to isolate ourselves or to be extroverted, to feel comfortable with hugs when greeting, or to feel uncomfortable in crowded spaces, etc., depending on the emotions we bring into play in each context and on how we have been socialized and socialized. according to how we have been socialized and socialized.

Related to the above, the lack of affection may cause the child to develop little empathy, which may also complicate his or her interpersonal bonds, as well as the recognition or respect for the emotions of others.

3. Tendency to insecurity

A large part of the scientific community agrees that the affective dimension is one of the ways in which children acquire security and build a concept of themselves. Thus, a lack of affection can lead to an insecure personality.

This insecurity can manifest itself through defensive behavior, or else, through a withdrawal due to the fear of facing new situations that generate emotions over which the child feels that generate emotions over which the child feels no control or which seem strange to him/her.

For the same reason, a significant lack of affection can lead to excessive can lead to excessive submission to rules and a rigid and anxious personality; or theOr the opposite, constant defiant behavior and no respect for the limits of others, since these would be the most accessible ways for the child to compensate for the insecurity felt and thus maintain a sense of certainty that relieves him or her.

4. Negative self-concept and recurrent guilt

Related to the previous point, the affective dimension has an important impact on the opinion we form about ourselves. The lack of affection conveys a message of little or no self-esteem..

That is to say, it can generate that the value judgments about themselves are more negative than positive, or that they insist on blaming themselves for everything negative that happens around them.

Lack of Affection vs. Excessive Affection

Unfortunately affective deprivation can have some undesirable consequences for children, both at the individual level (psychological) and at the level of the child (psychological).Both at the individual (psychological) level and at the level of interpersonal relationships.

However, it is important to look for alternatives based on the consideration that, in many circumstances, caregivers are unable to provide a stable affective structure for reasons beyond their control.

For example, the great deficiencies in caregiving practices that have emerged after the recent socioeconomic transformations, which have forced a rearrangement of family and productive roles and have transformed the responsibilities of those who have been the traditional caregivers.

In response to this, different compensatory spaces and practices are generated. For example, formal education and the role of teachers the role of teachers has recently positioned itself as an important source of affection..

On the other hand, one of the most common compensatory practices is that caregivers try to compensate for affective deficiencies through material rewards, such as toys or electronic devices, in excess.

Of course, the material and recreational dimension is necessary, however, it is important to know that these elements do not have the same symbolic and corporal effect that affection has, and therefore do not represent a definitive substitute in the long term.

Finally, and in contrast to the lack of affection, many children are in a situation of excessive affection.. In view of this, it is important to recognize that excessive affection or overprotection (for example, when absolutely everything is solved for fear that they will be frustrated), has the same psychological effect as lack of affection or abandonment: the message is transmitted that they are incapable of relating and responding to the world, which creates helplessness and can generate the signs we developed above.

Bibliographical references:

• Maldonado, C. and Carrillo, S. (2006). Educating with affection: characteristics and determinants of the quality of the child-teacher relationship. Revista Infancia Adolescencia y Familia, 01(001): 33-60.
• González, E. (2002). Educating in affectivity. Universidad Complutense de Madrid. Retrieved May 8, 2018. Available at https://guao.org/sites/default/files/biblioteca/Educar%20en%20la%20afectividad.pdf.