5 keys to facing and overcoming life’s injustices

Injustices are a painful reality... but we must learn to live with them.

Many of the complaints that we psychologists address with people who come for consultation refer to "how unfair it is that my partner has left me", the injustice of seeing how "the job has gone to someone else and not to me", or thinking that "there is no right for so-and-so to behave that way with me".

Injustices: a painful reality we have to live with

Our daily life is full of this kind of reflections This type of reflections that lead us to value what happens to us in terms of justice, as if personal fulfillment and personal development were a matter of justice.It is as if the personal fulfillment and happiness of each one of us could be measured in our perception of the just and unjust events that happen to us. Some of the most renowned authors in the world of Psychology (Albert Ellis, Wayne Dyer) explained to us some years ago how the so-called "justice trap" works and they already told us that it works as a cognitive distortion or, in other words, as a thinking error.

The so-called fallacy of justice consists of the tendency to value as unjust everything that does not coincide with one's personal desires.. Through this type of thinking we consider that everything that does not coincide with our way of seeing things is unfair.

Reformulating our perception of injustice

And in this valuation of established injustice many remain immobilized, gripped by frustration and resorting to the internal dialogue of complaint and indifference in which when one settles only obtains sadness, despondency...

At this point, it does not make much sense to change our way of seeing things, if we start from the premise that "it is not fair that this position is not mine with what I have studied" and we repeat it to ourselves in each failed call to pass my competitive examination, are we favoring a solution to our problem, are we generating a constructive dialogue with ourselves and aimed at improving in the aspects that are necessary to pass that exam? No! We are only complaining! And that complaint can fulfill its therapeutic function in the short term as a way of venting, but when we normalize it and establish it, that's where the problem lies.…

5 strategies for dealing with injustice

Studying hard for an exam or behaving well with others cannot be the passport to perceiving that it is unfair not to get a place in a competitive examination or a bad reaction from a friend. These are realities that just happen and that we cannot have 100 percent control over..

What alternatives could we consider?

1. Differentiate what I want vs. what is unfair.

Wanting something with all our might does not make it more possible for you to have it. This reality would have certain implications in our inner dialogue, It would therefore be convenient to change the "it is an injustice" for "it is a pity" or for "I would prefer it". or "I would prefer it".

2. Things may happen differently than we would like them to happen

Work with our unachieved goals as an excuse to improve and not to use them against us. If wishing for something leads you to strive and work for that goal, complaining about the injustice of not achieving it and tormenting yourself about it takes you far away from your goal..

3. Others have the right to present opinions different from mine.

Why do we so often embark on trying to change the opinions of others? We should free ourselves from the yoke of single thinking. and that we should encourage everyone to express his or her own opinion on any issue. Egocentrism is not going to help us.

4. Opt to act, not to observe and analyze.

When we stop in the analysis of what is happening and do not get out of it, we are blocking ourselves. Betting on action will lead us to opt for what we want.If you need your partner to change something, ask him/her to do it, if you want that position in the competitive examinations, study and keep on trying!

5. Stop looking for fairness in our relationships with others.

If I choose to be nice to someone and be generous I can't get frustrated repeatedly when others don't act as I would like them to act.When we seek that equal sharing of "I give to you" and "you must give to me" we are missing the point. If I choose to be generous I have to keep in mind that it is a personal choice, and that it is my responsibility to decide to change my attitude towards that person or to continue being the way I am.

Reflections and possible conclusions

Above all of the above, it should be emphasized that in order to get out of the slavery of perceived injustice it should be emphasized that in order to get out of the slavery of perceived injustice we can only do so if we recover the protagonism of our lives and stop comparing ourselves all the time with others. and stop comparing ourselves all the time with others.

Taking into account the reality that surrounds us, in which not even the judges themselves have a unique and objective vision of what is just and unjust, why bother wasting our time imparting justice around us?