How to help a child who is afraid of the dark, in 5 steps

Standing guard at the foot of the bed is not always recommended, as it can feed their fears.

Fear of the dark is one of the most common fears in children, even in adolescence.even in adolescence. As always, it cannot be said that fear in itself is a bad thing, but if anything, it can be harmful if it becomes a pattern of avoidant behavior that appears when there is no reason to be alert or to look for a safer place. In this article we will see several tips on how to act in children with fear of the dark to help them and alleviate the discomfort they feel when staying in places without light.

Children with fear of the dark: why do they suffer?

The first thing to do when addressing this issue is to understand the logic behind the child's experience of fear. Fear of the dark is something acquired, that is, an involuntary learning, not something that arises innately in the child and then must be corrected. This implies that, just as it has been learned, it can also be unlearned.

¿Y what is the point of fearing the lack of light?? Vision is one of the senses that we use the most when receiving stimuli from the outside, and in fact the part of the brain that we use to process visual information is very large. That is why, when our sight is suppressed, we feel much more disoriented and dependent on others or on the resources we can find.

In the case of children to this feeling of uncertainty we must add the feeling of helplessness.Why? Because magical thinking is much more prevalent in young children.

What is magical thinking?

Magical thinking is a way of thinking based on the assumption that reality includes entities capable of transforming or adopting forms that we confuse with inanimate objects and that, consequently, surround us without us realizing it, sometimes directing our destinies or simply influencing what happens to us in an indirect way.

It is based, in the end, on placing a purposeful entity behind the events that occurWe do not yet understand how our surroundings work.

So it is not so much the darkness itself that is scary, but the fact that through the protection it offers, children are far from the protection of the dark, children are far away from the protection of adults and can become victims of the misdeeds of any "monster" or malicious entity.

Educating children against fear of the dark.

Now that we understand a little better why some children are afraid of the dark, it is time to propose solutions. While it is highly unlikely that a child will go from being very afraid of the dark overnight to feeling no discomfort or a certain level of anxiety about being in a dimly lit place, we can make that level of fear go way down, enough so that it is not a significant problem.

1. Don't ridicule their fears

From an adult's perspective, fear of the dark may seem absurd, but, as we have seen, it can make sense to children. So don't make fun of their fears, but of course don't show that there are reasons to be afraid of the dark. it is also important not to show that there are reasons to be afraid of the dark..

The key is to show understanding and allow the child to explain his or her fears and feel understood. If we laugh at these worries, we will only reaffirm that he is not alone in his fear of the dark and does not have too much protection against it. and does not have much protection against that feeling, but if he can express himself, that feeling of helplessness will not be there.

2. Regulates the pieces of fiction to which he is exposed.

Evidently, if a child is habitually exposed to fiction pieces that show monsters or murderers attacking in the dark, this idea will be in his mind, this idea will cross his or her mind more often.. Supervising the series, videos and movies that a small child watches is positive if this helps to prevent fears or misconceptions that can harm him/her from arising.

3. Do not use myths or fear of monsters to make him obey.

Children's belief system, like anyone else's, is an interconnected whole. Therefore, it makes no sense for you to say that there is no reason to worry about the dark if at the same time you feed the fear of the "bogeyman" or the "boogeyman" who takes bad children. There is a need for consistency.

4. Contributes to sleepy bedtimes

The simple fact of going to sleep and not going through fearful experiences for a significant time makes the little ones more accustomed to the dark, because they know that they have been in the dark many times and, without having adopted any "special defensive measures", no monster has attacked them.no monster has attacked them.

So, some tricks you can use are to make sure that they don't look at screens or intense light sources during the two to three hours before bedtime, that they actually get to bed when they are sleepy, and that they haven't been exercising just before.

5. If you have a pet, get it involved

The protection offered by a pet such as a cat or dog can be an intermediate step between constant parental protection and absolute autonomy. In any case it is much preferable to having an adult standing at the foot of the bed "standing guard", a fact that only "standing guard", a fact that only reinforces the fear by making the moments when one is alone stand out more.