How to know when the relationship is over: 7 tips

Several aids for recognizing the moment when it's time to start over.

If something is clear in the field of love is that interpreting our emotions is sometimes as or more complicated than playing guessing what the person we are with feels. The human mind is complex and full of nuances, so, for example, one is not always clear about what one wants.

In the case of love this is especially true, and this is not necessarily bad, but when the relationship is very damaged, this inability to assess what is really happening is counterproductive, since by inertia we tend to continue doing what we have always done. Below we will see several guidelines about how to know when a relationship is over.

How to know when the relationship is over

In couple relationships this is especially problematic because not knowing how to recognize one's own emotions, because inconsistencies and unpredictability about each other's goals and motivations can strain commitments. A certain level of tension is relatively normal in any couple's relationship, but, when it reaches a critical point, it is important to be aware that the best thing to do is to break it off.

Because of the myth that love always involves suffering and sacrificing for the other, there are those who, no matter what, will not even consider breaking up and starting over, do not even think of breaking up and starting over again autonomously, letting go of the other person. But this is not so: life is short, and there is no reason to bet everything on a specific relationship, indefinitely.

In the following lines you will find various aids for recognizing where the limit of what is acceptable lies. However, keep in mind that it is not necessary for one of them to be met in order to have the legitimacy to break up. Each person is free to end a relationship if he/she feels it is the best thing to do, for whatever reasons.

1. Assess whether there is physical or psychological abuse.

This is the first aspect to consider, since abuse is a very clear red line. However, victims of abuse often do not recognize their situation or even justify it, unless they stop to think carefully about what is happening. In this sense, the psychological mistreatment can give problems because sometimes it is something ambiguous or needs of a special context to be such.

2. Ask yourself if there is enough physical contact

Affection and love are expressed not only through words, but also with the sense of touch. However, in couples in which love is no longer present, this type of interaction is no longer a frequent habit.

3. Think about how much you care about "what people will say".

Some people stay with their partner simply because breaking up would have a negative impact on the people around them. Peer pressure is surprisingly powerfulIt acts indirectly, even if no one has done anything to suggest pressure, simply from our expectations and what we imagine will happen if we return to singleness.

That is why it is worth stopping to think whether at present one of the main reasons why the relationship continues to exist is the desire to please others, to give them a kind image of ourselves. Ultimately, one of the most direct solutions to the problem of how to know if the relationship is over is to look at whether it is only supported by others, and not by ourselves.

4. Assess the frequency and intensity of the quarrels.

This is possibly one of the most common methods used by people who want to find out whether or not it makes sense to continue a relationship, and it is easy to see why. Quarrels are crises with relatively clear beginnings and endingsIt is therefore easy to distinguish them from what is considered normal.

It's true that loud arguments indicate tension and confrontation, but don't let them completely capitalize on your concept of what a failed relationship is. As we are seeing, there are many other phenomena that denote problems in the relational dynamics but, being more discreet, can be overlooked.

5. Are basic covenants broken?

In every relationship there is a minimum level of commitment, as long as there is a claim that it will last more than a few weeks or months. That is why it is important to look at whether they are being met; this is a sign of the importance each person attaches to being in a relationship. is a sign of the importance that each gives to being in a relationship with the other. with each other.

6. Assess whether you can talk about your feelings with your partner.

By definition, a couple's relationship must be a two-way communicative link. It is not feasible to have a partner and not being able to express important things that we would like him/her to know, as long as this happens because of attitudes of the partner.It is not feasible to have a partner and not be able to express important things that we would like him/her to know, as long as this happens because of his/her attitudes, because this means that there is no capacity for the other person to adapt to the variations of what we feel, or even to comfort us in difficult moments.

A couple relationship in which only "the facade" is taken into account, what we appear to feel, is incredibly poor.

7. The other person has left us

It may sound silly, but not everyone recognizes the moment when their partner ends the relationship.. They assume it's a joke, a strategy to create pressure, or a way to get even. But this is not the case: when the other person breaks up, what is happening is exactly what it seems, and we have no right to pretend that we have not heard or to act as if we know better than the other person what he or she really wants.