The 26 couple stories according to Sternberg

Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg describes several types of couple relationships.

It seems quite reasonable to affirm that, in the field of romantic or passionate love, we can find as many couple stories or relationships as there are people in the world. And, as they say, each person (and in this case, relationship) is a world unto itself.

This was verified by the American psychologist Robert J. Sternberg through his clinical sessions of couple therapy, thanks to which he made a classification that grouped up to 26 stories of passion. a classification that grouped up to 26 couple histories (couple relationships). (couple relationships). In this article we will know the 26 couple stories according to Sternberg, as well as their most relevant characteristics.

The 26 couple stories according to Robert J. Sternberg

The American psychologist Robert J. Sternberg (1949, New Jersey, United States) is a great researcher of the subject of love, as well as the author of the triangular theory of love.as well as author of the triangular theory of love.

Based on his clinical experience in couple therapy, Sternberg described up to 5 major groups of couple stories (couple relationships), which are:

• Asymmetrical stories
• Object stories
• Coordination stories
• Narrative stories
• Gender stories

In turn, these 5 groups are formed by the 26 couple stories according to Sternberg. After reading them, you can ask yourself: Which one would you identify with? Do you know couples from different groups in the classification? Do you think they are very different from each other?

1. Asymmetrical stories

In the first of the 5 couple stories according to Sternberg we find an asymmetry as the basis of the relationship. Within the asymmetrical stories, Sternberg defines 6 subtypes of asymmetrical stories, which are:

1.1. Teacher-student

It is a type of relationship where one teaches, and the other learns.

1.2. Sacrifice

Another type of asymmetrical story, where one sacrifices, while the other is the beneficiary..

1.3. Governance

In a "government" type of relationship, according to Sternberg, power is the fundamental theme, which is exercised autocratically, democratically or anarchically.

1.4. Police

In this relationship, metaphorically, one is the policeman, while the other is the suspect. It is based on "all-nothing" thinking..

1.5. Pornographic

This is a degrading type of relationship, where one is the object and the other the subject.

1.6. Horror

In this other type of couple stories according to Sternberg one is the victim, while the other terrorizes..

2. Object stories

In the second group of couple stories according to Sternberg we find the object stories. Its central characteristic is that here the person or the relationship is valued for its function as an object and not for itself. This type of story, in turn, is divided into two:

2.1. Person as object.

Here one of the partners is considered to be the object of the other.. This type of relationship, in turn, is divided into three more:

• Science fiction: the person is valued for his or her bizarre character or behavior.
• Collection: the person is considered part of a collection of couples, where each has a different role.
• Art: the person is valued for his or her physical appearance.

2.2. Relationship as object

In the second type of object stories, we find a type of relationship where the relationship itself is the object for one or both members of the couple.. In turn, these can be of four different types:

• House and home: a relationship whose purpose is to obtain a house and a home environment.
• Recovery: the relationship is the means to recover from a certain trauma.
• Religious: a relationship to feel closer to God; it may also be that the relationship itself becomes a kind of religion (without which the person feels lost).
• Game: a relationship to feel victorious, where there is constant competitiveness.

3. Coordination stories

In this type of couple stories according to Sternberg, the partners work to create, make or maintain something.. Generally these are healthy relationships. As subtypes of the same we find:

3.1. Traveler

It is based on the idea that love is a journey, and the couple works together to choose and reach their common destination. The relationship is understood as a change, as constant maturation and discovery.

3.2. Sewing and weaving

In this type of relationship the couple weaves or stitches the foundation of their relationship together.. Here love is what we seek to create.

3.3. Garden

The next type of couple stories according to Sternberg, is a type of relationship that emphasizes the care of the relationship..

3.4. Business

Here the emphasis is on economics and the division of roles.

3.5. Addiction

The context of the relationship is a context of indispensable dependence for the life of the couple, with phrases such as "I cannot live without...".with phrases such as "I can't live without...".

4. Narrative stories

In the next type of couple stories according to Sternberg, the narrative stories, there is an indicative norm within the relationship, the way forward. Narrative stories, in turn, are divided into:

4.1. Fantastic

This is the "ideal" couple, as in a fairy tale, based on values such as those behind the story of the "prince and the princess"..

4.2. Historical

In the historical couple, the present is defined by the past, i.e., the preservation of objects, photos, the importance of anniversaries and special dates, etc., is very important.

4.3. Scientific

In the history or scientific relationship, a logical and rational analysis of the relationship can be made. The relationship is also governed by principles and formulas.

4.4. Cookbook

Finally, in the "cookbook" type story, there is a recipe for a successful relationship. a recipe for a successful relationship, which has to do with how to act and with the "ingredients" of the relationship..

5. Gender stories

In the last of the major groups of couple stories according to Sternberg, it is more about how to be in the relationship, and not so much about the content. It is divided into four types:

5.1. Warlike

In the warlike relationship, what matters is being "at war": arguing, fighting, etc. It doesn't matter what the fight is about, what matters is that fighting becomes an incentive for both partners.

5.2. Theatrical

In theatrical stories what matters is that everyone plays a role, regardless of the role played..

5.3. Humorous

In the following of the couple stories according to Sternberg, what prevails, and what matters, is humor. The relationships are lighthearted, light-hearted and never serious.

5.4. Mysterious

Finally, in the mysterious stories or relationships, there is a constant concealment of information by one of the partners. The other is the one who is interested (and many times, even hooked) in the mystery.