23 signs that you’re in a ’toxic relationship

When love isn't everything: a guide to find out if your courtship is in the doldrums.

Relationships are, more often than not, complicated.. In psychological consultation, mental health professionals often see cases of couples who get along badly, to the point of reaching significant levels of stress and discomfort.

Today we will talk about toxic relationshipsToxic relationships: those relationships in which at least one member of the relationship has totally inappropriate behaviors and attitudes, which can lead to a situation of psychological and emotional vulnerability for the other person.

Toxic relationships: boyfriends and girlfriends who make life miserable

Be careful, because even if there is love (or something that resembles it), there are couples in which really dangerous dynamics are produced, and that can border on psychological abuse..

• You can learn more in this article: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship".

Cases of toxic relationships can be more or less severe, and in today's article we have attempted to detect and describe a total of twenty-three signs that a relationship may be going down a very bad path. Certain situations and circumstances may be more prone to the emergence of these "differences" between partners.

The 23 signs that your relationship is toxic

On many occasions, people who are immersed in toxic love relationships are not able to realize that they are living in abusive situations. The love we feel for that person can cloud our judgment and we can tend to forgive anything.. It is very common for this type of toxic attitudes to be "normalized" by the victim.

And even though family and friends may warn us that some things we are putting up with are simply not acceptable, we can continue to be blindfolded. This article wants to contribute to help people who are in a courtship or marriage of these characteristics to improve their situation.

Let's go there with the 23 signs that your partner is toxic or is going through a time when it can cause conflict:

Controlling attitudes and jealousy.

1. It bothers him/her when you spend time with your friends or family.

2. Controls your personal expenses, keeps unnecessary tabs on your bank accounts, or asks you for explanations about your bills.

3. Investigates your social networks and your cell phone. Does not respect your privacy.

4. Constantly asks about your schedule and plans your life without asking for your opinion.

5. When he does you a favor, he demands that you compensate him immediately.

6. Belittles you and implies that without him/her you would be nothing and would not be able to move forward.

7. At family gatherings or with friends, you avoid voicing your opinion about something for fear that he/she will reprimand or question you again.

8. It is common for him/her to use emotional blackmail with you: if you don't do what he/she wants, he/she gets angry.

9. You notice that every time you spend time with someone of the opposite sex, your partner gets excessively upset and jealous, forcing you not to see that person anymore.

10. He/she treats you with excessive paternalism and overprotection.

Attitudes of disrespect and conflict

11. He/she picks on the way you dress, tries to influence you in bad ways to change your style, and so on.

12. Does everything possible to downplay your merits and virtues.

13. He downplays the importance of the problems you express to him, minimizing them and saying phrases like "it's no big deal", "don't complain out of spite", etc.

14. When there is an argument, you always have to give in, otherwise he/she may not speak to you for days.

15. He blames you for problems he has in his work life or with other people outside the relationship.

16. He is always reminding you of all the mistakes and errors you made in the past.

17. You have stopped telling your partner's problems to your family, friends and relatives because you know that if he/she finds out, he/she would be furious.

18. You avoid explaining problems or talking about certain issues with him/her because you know he/she would take it badly.

19. You are often approached with demands and bad manners.

20. Makes decisions that affect both of you without asking for your opinion, or even without informing you.

Toxic attitudes in the sexual sphere

21. You notice that you have sex with him/her even though you don't feel like it, just to please him/her or to keep him/her from getting angry.

He/she blackmails you or demands that you engage in sexual practices that you do not like.

23. Compares you to other sexual partners from his/her past.

Watch out! We all have toxic attitudes at one time or another.

We have been explaining all those attitudes and behaviors that can be a sign that your partner is toxic. But be careful, because it is very easy to see the faults in others and very difficult to be self-critical..

All of us, at some point in our lives, can make mistakes and have one or more failures like the ones we have described. Therefore, we must be careful when judging our partner. A toxic relationship will only be one in which, on a regular basis, several of the problems mentioned above occur. In any case, Sometimes the situation may be manageable through communication and good manners..

In other couples, there may be no way back and the relationship is doomed to fail. It is the obligation of each person to carefully analyze the situation to know if it is worth trying to fix things.

Bibliographical references:

• G.G., Bolich. (2007). Conversing on Gender.
• de Celis, Estibaliz. (2011). "Prevention of gender violence". In Pérez, Jesús; Escobar, Ana. Perspectivas de la violencia de género. Madrid: Grupo 5 Editorial.
• Long, Scott. (2009). "They Want Us Exterminated": Murder, Torture, Sexual Orientation and Gender in Iraq. Human Rights Watch.