Interview with Jesús Matos, author of ’Un curso de emociones’.

This psychologist has captured in his book several guidelines for emotional management used in therapy.

Emotion management brings together a whole series of psychological processes that enhance mental health in a wide variety of situations in our lives. The problem is that, at the same time, if we are not in the habit of applying habits that reinforce good emotional management to our daily lives, we become prone to suffer many types of discomfort.

To understand more about this facet of emotional balance, on this occasion we interviewed Jesús Matos Larrinaga, a psychologist based in Madrid who has recently published the book A Course in Emotions.

"A course of emotions": learning to coexist with our emotional side

Jesús Matos Larrinaga is a psychologist specialized in psychotherapy, Director of the En Equilibrio Mental center, and author of the following books Good Morning, Joy y A Course in Emotionspublished this April by Ediciones Urano. Currently, this mental health expert has an important presence in the media and has participated in several TED talks. In this interview he talks to us about his latest book, full of useful information and guidelines to learn how to manage our emotions.

How did you come up with the main idea at the root of "A Course in Emotions"?

It was a process that began about 3 years ago, in which as a result of new research in psychology I began to incorporate new techniques to the interventions I was doing with my patients. I discovered that the potential of these tools was tremendous and I began to visualize the possibility of writing a manual in which step by step the whole process of emotion management would be described.

I wanted to do my bit for those people who had never considered going to a psychologist but needed a push when it came to learning to manage emotions. So I tried to write a book that was easy to read and to implement in our daily lives.

To which people would you recommend this book especially?

The good thing about this book is that anyone can learn from it and develop new tools to cope with the emotional difficulties of everyday life.

Unfortunately, we are a society, which, in general levels, has little knowledge about the effective management of emotions. The consequence of this is the very high levels of mental disorders and consumption of psychotropic drugs that we have in our country.

I would recommend its reading to all those who would like to develop new strategies to know themselves a little better and to face the challenges of life.

In the end, the book is a manual to increase our emotional intelligence, and what studies tell us is that people with high emotional intelligence tend to have higher levels of mental health and physical health, more satisfying social relationships, jobs with which they feel more identified and higher levels of psychological well-being, which ultimately is what we all want.

The book includes a series of practical exercises so as not to remain only in theory; can anyone apply them to their daily life, even if they have no previous experience in the use of emotional management guidelines?

The good thing about the book is that the information is designed to go step by step, whether we already have some experience in managing emotions or if it is the first time we approach a book of this type.

In addition, it includes quite new techniques and tools, which will probably surprise more than one who already has some experience and knowledge about emotions.

What criteria did you use to choose the emotional management techniques you talk about in "A Course in Emotions"?

The first criterion was scientific, that is to say, only include techniques that have been proven to be very effective in controlled studies. I wanted to make sure that the end result really worked and was not just another book that only says what the reader wants to read.

A second criterion was my personal experience as a psychologist with these tools. I wanted to condense everything I have learned in these 10 years of practice in which I have had the opportunity to serve more than 2000 people.

Something I always do, before starting to use a technique in consultation, apart from having been trained and having verified that it has more than enough scientific effectiveness, is to try it with myself, to be able to experience what the people who come to me will feel. So in the end, the techniques included in the book are the result of many screening processes.

One of the most important ideas you explain in the book is that many psychological problems are reinforced by our attempts to "block" negative emotions. Do you think this is a mistake that people often make?

I think it is the main mistake we make when it comes to managing ourselves. It is logical that this is so, since what common sense tells us is that we have to move away from what makes us feel bad and get closer to what makes us feel good. Therein lies the trap, on many occasions, we try to escape from our emotions looking for short term satisfaction, but unintentionally, this gets us into a spiral of suffering.

What scientific studies tell us is that the emotional coping style of avoidance, that is, trying not to feel, is closely related to high levels of depression and anxiety. The way to manage our emotions is through acceptance, never through avoidance attempts.

In this sense, I have found that many books on the same subject recommend techniques that encourage emotional avoidance, so this perspective may surprise the reader.

In what aspects of day-to-day life do we first start to notice that our emotional management has improved, once we start working on the habits that lead to it?

What people who begin to manage emotions effectively usually experience is that they are much more present in their lives, much more attentive to what they are doing, instead of being so caught up in their thoughts. In addition, when we have learned not to run away from our emotions, we begin to have a totally different relationship with them, we begin to integrate all the information they give us and much more adaptive thoughts begin to emerge.

The good thing about this process is that it never ends, when we modify the relationship we have with our emotions and our thoughts we begin to relate differently with life, and this is very powerful, since emotions are present in all vital areas, which can allow us to begin to face changes that we may have been avoiding for years.