Self-esteem: how it can be treated in psychotherapy

This is how psychotherapy professionals work on the patient's self-esteem.

Self-esteem is the fundamental basis of people's psychological well-being.. Therefore, it is one of the most important aspects of most psychotherapy processes.

In this article we will see how self-esteem is worked on in psychological therapy, and in what sense this benefits the patient.and in what sense this benefits the patients.

The components of self-esteem

The self-esteem is the valuation that we make of ourselves. We can synthesize it in these five "cars", its components and constituent parts:

1. self-knowledge

It consists of knowing what are your characteristics, your weaknesses, strengths, needs, and the things you need.…

2. Self-assessment

Once you are clear about your characteristics, it is time to to see how you value themi.e., whether positively or negatively, broadly speaking.

3. Self-acceptance

There are things that we can and want to change about ourselves and others that we may not like. others that we may not like and we must accept them as they are..

4. Self-respect

It is the previous step to a healthy self-esteem. It is about seeking our well-being, meeting our needs and treating ourselves with the love we deserve..

5. Positive self-esteem

It is based on all the previous points, and on the fact that we look for a healthy self-esteem, that is to say, that it is neither too low (undervaluation), nor high (narcissism) nor conditional (to love ourselves if we achieve certain accomplishments and if not, to despise ourselves). A healthy self-esteem is unconditional.

What do we mean by balanced self-esteem?

Healthy self-esteem can be defined as a positive attitude towards oneself, based on a realistic self-image that has to do with who we really are. It involves accepting ourselves unconditionally, without making this acceptance dependent on the attainment of certain achievements or the valuation of other people, and to attend to our personal needs and well-being. and attending to our needs and personal well-being. It also influences whether we relate in a satisfactory way with others.

We must differentiate it from a low self-esteem, in which we value ourselves distortedly in a more negative way than we deserve, and from a narcissistic self-esteem, in which the person tends to overvalue himself, or from a conditional self-esteem, which depends on the attainment of certain achievements.

We can imagine healthy self-esteem as a balanced equilibrium between our "real self" and our "real self. between our "real self", more related to our self-concept, that is, how we see ourselves, and our "ideal self", which refers to how we would like to be.

This "ideal self" responds to our "potential self" so we must be cautious, since it is important to have goals and eagerness to improve, but it is not convenient to have too high self-demands because we will not reach them or, if we do, we will be suffering when we stop doing it.

Can self-esteem be worked on in therapy?

In spite of the fact that self-esteem has been forged, to a great extent, in our childhood and youth, it is something that can be worked on in adulthood through psychological therapy.. In fact, it is one of the main demands we receive in our practice, Mariva Psicólogos.

When working on self-esteem in psychotherapy, we do so by intervening in each of the 5 constituent elements that we have mentioned, and providing tools in these areas:

1. Cognitive area

The role of thoughts is primordialOne of the main objectives of the therapy is the relaxation of the "shoulds" that we impose on ourselves, that is to say, of the self-demands, as well as distorted beliefs that we may have about ourselves.

It is about reversing all those destructive and distorted thoughts that we have about ourselves in a about ourselves in a self-dialogue of which we are not usually aware.

2. Behavioral area

In this area we work, among other aspects, the practice of assertive rights, social skills, we emphasize the importance of performing pleasant tasks... In general, the aim is that the person learns to take care of him/herself and also that he/she experiences a greater sense of usefulness..

On the other hand, social relationships are very important to generate a healthy self-esteem, and therefore the quality of communication and expressive skills is enhanced.

3. Emotional area

It is important to cultivate self-compassion, to work on our emotions as well as to analyze how we see ourselves (real self) and how we would like to know (ideal self) trying to balance this balance that is usually very unbalanced.

We will enhance emotions of kindness, because if we can be kind to others, we can be kind to them. if we can be kind to others... why not to ourselves? why not with ourselves?

So... could I improve my self-esteem if I go to a psychologist?

The answer to the question of whether self-esteem can be improved in therapy is a resounding yes. In fact, as we mentioned before, it is one of the main demands currently in our office in Valencia, since if self-esteem is low, the person does not feel well and considerable suffering is generated, which can even cause the person to develop that can even lead to anxiety, low mood, damage to social relationships and / or partner, etc..

Working on self-esteem is a process that, in spite of having a hard part, is very rewarding for the person who goes through it and for the therapist who accompanies him/her. This process begins with a proper psychological evaluation to know the specific problem of the person, and what techniques are the most appropriate for him or her. It continues with the use of these techniques to finish when a great improvement in self-esteem is achieved, which must continue to be cared for, just as you would care for your most precious asset.

If you think about it, it is like any other love. You have to know how to love, eliminate toxic relationships and, when you discover healthy love, you have to keep taking care of it. Why not do the same with self-love?

Bibliographical references:

• Baumeister, R. F.; Campbell, J. D.; Krueger, J. I.; Vohs, K. D. (2003). Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?. Psychological Science in the Public Interest. 4 (1): 1 - 44.
• Marsh, H.W. (1990). Causal ordering of academic self-concept and academic achievement: A multiwave, longitudinal path analysis. Journal of Educational Psychology. 82 (4): 646 - 656.