4 common self-esteem problems and how to deal with them

Valuing oneself negatively can lead to a frustrating life marked by low expectations.

Self-esteem problems are at the root of many of the psychological problems people experience. people experience. Without necessarily going hand in hand with mental disorders, this kind of pessimistic appraisals of oneself make it more likely to lead an unsatisfactory life, focused on unambitious goals.

In this article we will review several of the most common self-esteem problems, as well as possible strategies for managing them.as well as possible strategies to manage them and to make them fade away.

• Related article. "Low self-esteem? When you become your own worst enemy"

The importance of self-image

It can that the personal relations are something complicated, but in many occasions they are still more those relations that we establish with ourselves. With the idea of the "I" that each one of us harbors inside.

And the fact is that self-esteem problems are one of the most frequent causes of psychological discomfort. This kind of uncomfortable, anxiogenic situations or source of real emotional Pain are based on a set of beliefs that in psychology is called "self-esteem". a set of beliefs that in psychology is called self-concept, or self-image, and which contains all those ideas about the person's self-esteem.It contains all those ideas about oneself, the adjectives that define the "I".

The self-concept is not something we look at coldly, as a scientist would look through a microscope at a sample, but always carries with it an emotional charge. We call this aspect of self-concept, which has to do with how we feel about the idea we have of our identity, self-esteem.

Thus, self-esteem problems are those situations that arise when the way in which we evaluate our self-concept is very pessimisticand makes us feel anxiety, disgust or other sensations and feelings every time we remember who we are.

Self-esteem problems, and possible solutions.

To know how to deal with this kind of discomfort, it is good to know the main types of self-esteem problems. Let's see what they are.

1. Complexes due to lack of talent

It is quite possible that many of the self-esteem problems arise from the belief that one does not have the talent to do something important for oneself. From this perspective, there is something beyond one's control that prevents or makes it very difficult to progress in a particular area of knowledge or training.

In this type of self-esteem problem, there is not only sadness for not reaching sadness for not reaching the goals that one sets for oneself appearsIn this type of self-esteem problem, there is not only the sadness of not reaching the goals one has set, but also the feeling that one is wasting time on something that will never bear the expected fruits.

However, it should be borne in mind that talent is simply the result of a lot of effort over a long period of time, and that failure to make progress in something is usually an indication that the task is simply not motivating enough. However, for this idea to have an effect in improving the level of self-esteem, it is necessary to go through a cognitive restructuring, as we will see.

2. Constant comparison

Those who are obsessed with comparing themselves with others all the time end up finding a thousand examples of people who, in general terms, seem to be superior to themselves in every way.

The good news is that the information we have about others is always insufficient and too biased to make well-founded evaluative opinions about them. The bad news is that anyone who attaches sufficient importance to these kinds of issues will probably be incapable of taking this reasoning into account, and will simply will simply think recurrently about how bad one's self is in comparison to others..

3. Feelings of guilt

Blaming yourself for past mistakes, either for doing something or for not doing something, is a common source of self-esteem problems. Life gives us many opportunities to fail, and sometimes the feeling of guilt becomes entrenched.

Although this feeling apparently speaks to us of the recognition of something that should not have happened, it does not always translate into a willingness to avoid making the same kind of mistakes.. But when an attempt is made to compensate for the situation, this is in itself a way of solving the problem of self-esteem, if the self-concept is managed in the right way.

4. Believing the put-downs of others

Other people's cruelty can infiltrate the way we think about ourselves. This is why many victims of abuse or bullying believe they deserve what happens to them, for example.

The point is that when there are frequent signs that someone is putting us down, we tend to believe that there are actually motives, we tend to believe that there really are valid reasons for being belittled.. If we add to this the fact that many times the mistreatment does not happen in isolation, but that a whole collective or social circle participates in it, the signs that we should hate ourselves multiply.

How to put an end to the discomfort?

The most serious and obvious cases of self-esteem problems should be treated by psychologists, since they have the resources to do something very necessary in these cases: help us change the way we think about ourselves, and make us adopt habits consistent with a normal level of self-esteem.

These two courses of action, typical of cognitive-behavioral therapy, allow a return to normalcy in a matter of weeks or a few months.