Holidays and family, who said crisis?

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

• Family conflicts and misunderstandings can increase on vacation if individual tastes and needs are not taken into account.
• It is important that everyone's common goal is to have the best time possible.
• Avoiding comparing yourself with others or with other previous vacations, reducing expectations and making joint decisions is of great help so that they pass in harmony.

But along with that desire there may be a certain fear when you have children and with them the need to adapt the holidays to all members of the family. For this reason, it is essential to know how to manage the vacation period without trying to get rid of everything and assuming that, even at this stage, there will be obligations to attend to. In short, spending vacations with the family can be an idyllic and beneficial plan for everyone or become a source of frequent tension and conflict.

Pros and cons

It can be satisfying and enriching to the extent that free time and dedication to children increases, the possibility of playing and enjoying with them, sharing activities, facilitating learning, promoting certain habits and improving communication. It is also the right time to take care of the couple's relationship, intimacy and communication with it, without forgetting the individual spaces for the cultivation of certain hobbies, activities or hobbies.

But, on the other hand, we must take into account the general tendency that exists to idealize vacations and the evidence that during the vacation period the probability of conflicts and misunderstandings increases; on the one hand, by maintaining a longer family time together and, on the other, by the inclusion on some occasions of family members who are not usual, such as brothers, grandparents, uncles, nephews or brothers-in-law.

Helpful tips

Within each family there are members with needs and tastes that are often different and difficult to reconcile. For this reason, and to avoid tension and misunderstandings, it is recommended:

• Do not confuse individual wishes and expectations with shared ones, and keep in mind that the perfect plan can vary from person to person. For this reason, it is important to detect the vacation model from which each one starts, since there are people who give priority to rest, without carrying out any activity and others who wish to carry out endless activities to make the most of their vacation time, including many terms in between.
• Allow all members to express their own expectations and desires, negotiating to reach agreements, pacts and adjustments. It is important to plan the holidays with all the members of the family, involving them, listening to them and taking their opinions and suggestions into account.
• Knowing how to communicate, make joint decisions and contrast opinions, always within a climate of understanding and adaptability to facilitate a harmonious coexistence, establishing rules and sharing of obligations, tasks and responsibilities, in addition to adjusting schedules.
• That the common and main objective for all members of the family is to have a good time.
• Relax and reduce expectations, as well as recognize that there will be better and worse days and moments, in order to avoid frustrations. Do not idealize or allow any situation or experience other than expected to provoke excessive negativity.
• Understand that you are in a new and different space for everyone, in which rhythms, routines and customs are modified, so that all of this can affect family members, especially children.
• Do not perceive this stage as an attempt to compensate for everything that was not done during the course, but as a new and different project.
• Live the experience as a challenge, putting certain tools, resources and skills into practice.
• Avoid comparison with previous vacations or with those made by other people or families.

Broadly speaking, a vacation period will be the most suitable to the extent that it allows mobility and activities suitable for all members of the family. The recommended trend will be to take advantage of this temporary space to improve on an individual level and to cultivate relationships with the couple and the family.

Elena Killed