Loving someone who doesnt love you back: 12 tips on what to do.
Falling out of love can lead to very intense distress. Let's see what to do.
Sometimes, when we like a person, we idealize him or her to a great extent. This situation results in distress and anxiety when we see that our expectations with that person are not met.
Loving someone who does not love youwhen it comes to a romantic partner, is never positive for your mental health. This situation will bring a series of complications that can affect in diverse areas of your life, and for that reason it is necessary to know what to do to put an end to the anguish produced by this experience.
Loving someone who does not love you: what to do to stop feeling bad?
Below we will see some recommendations to overcome the situation of loving someone who does not love you. Although no one has total control over these circumstances, it is always best to be prepared.
1. Be rational about the situation
This involves seeing things as they are really happening, and not as we would like them to happen.. It will require us to use logic to see the situation in a more realistic way; in this way we will be able to accept the facts and move on.
2. Really know who the other person is
Sometimes it may be enough to have exchanged a few ideas, or to have chatted for a few days, to feel that we already love the other person. Uncertainty is not healthy, as it lends itself to idealization..
The best thing to do is to get to know the other person well, to take the necessary time to exchange opinions, tastes, and see what we have in common. Sometimes we see virtues where there are none, just on a whim; we should be aware of this possibility.
3. Set personal goals
The objective of this is that we stop focusing all our energy on the other person and start working more on ourselves. Creating a personal strategic plan helps a lot in the cause of overcoming unrequited love..
4. Remember that no one is indispensable
Keep in mind that you do not need other people to achieve happiness. Social relationships are important, but they must be reciprocal.. If someone does not want us to be part of his or her life, it is a decision we must respect.
5. Find hobbies
Find activities that keep you in touch with yourself. In this way, you will avoid intrusive thoughts and you will be able to get to know yourself better through these activities.
The idea is that they are things that you like, they can be old hobbies that you had left behind. It's never too late to take them up again, and what better time than when you need to wipe the slate clean.
6. Avoid self-pity
The fact that the other person is not interested in us does not mean that something is wrong with us. Everyone has reasons for doing thingsWe may have very personal reasons that we are not always aware of.
The problem doesn't have to be you, so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, focus on learning from your experiences and gaining strength from them.
7. Meet new people
This does not mean that you seek to replace the other person with a different one.It means that you give yourself the opportunity to expand your social circle with new friendships, which can be enriching for your life.
Do not focus your attention completely on someone, that will make you gradually submit to a relationship based on dependence.
8. Communicate assertively
Speaking clearly and concisely will help us to avoid many misunderstandings with the person we have been with the person we have fallen in love with.
If we are able to express our feelings without beating around the bush, then we are more likely to get more timely responses that can make us understand things in the best way.
9. Not everything depends on you
Once we have understood this, everything will be easier. There are circumstances and situations that are simply beyond our control.For example, other people's personal decisions.
The best thing to do will always be to concentrate on what we can do and work from there, accepting that everyone thinks differently and has the right to do so.
10. Visualization
This is a technique that is commonly used in therapy.. It consists of going to a quiet place and imagining ourselves in situations that are pleasant for us. We close our eyes to imagine for a moment that we are fine without that person, that we fulfill our personal goals and enjoy it.
This is very useful to begin to truly understand that we can be happy apart from the person we have loved and who does not love us in the same way, that is, with whom the situation of unrequited love has arisen.
11. Accept the mourning process
This type of mourning consists of having asked for the idea that we had of that person as part of an exciting project.This loss inevitably generates discomfort.
To overcome this situation it is important to accept that things were not as we probably imagined them. When we understand this, we are closer to regaining a certain emotional balance.
12. Keep your distance
This is really important in order to definitively overcome the fact of loving someone who does not love you (or does not love you the way you would like). The more distance we have with respect to the person in question, the more we will be helping our brain to forget him or her. the more we will be helping our brain to forget them.
After a while, when you feel that you are already strengthened and that person does not exert any control over your emotions, you will see how you will even be able to approach to say hello without your peace of mind being affected. But all this takes time, and above all the personal decision to move on.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)