People who don’t know how to be single: 5 reasons why they are always looking for a partner

There are those who look for any excuse to start a relationship, even if they have not fallen in love.

How many mistakes we would avoid in relationships if we knew how to differentiate between love and the fear of being alone! And while it is true that falling in love has a very powerful emotional impact, the effects of the need to be in a relationship can be more lasting. In some cases, it can even be a source of anguish that lasts for decades or practically a lifetime if something is not done about it.

Why is it that some people don't know how to be single Why do some people not know how to be single and are constantly looking for a relationship? What can be done to get out of this situation? Let's take a look.

People who do not know how to be single: why do they do it?

There are different reasons that lead people to not know how to live being single naturally or without causing harm to other people. Here are several of them.

1. The myth of the better half

Romantic love is based on a series of distorted ideas about how they are and how they should be. about how affective relationships are and should be, and one of these misguided beliefs has to do with the myth of the better half.

According to this conception of love, we are incomplete until we find someone who complements us. Hence, singleness is seen as a waste of time and resources, the confirmation of a failure, since it is a stage in which for some reason we are failing to find the partner who will complete us. finding the partner who will complete us and make us happy..

From this mental scheme, moreover, it is very easy to think in terms of "black or white" and to attribute all the evils that happen to us to the fact of not having a partner. If happiness does not appear in a relationship, this is interpreted as a sign that one is not well with that person, which leads to the breakup and the immediate search for another relationship.

2. The need to go through "serial monogamy" in order not to feel bad.

Believe it or not, sexuality outside of marriage is still highly stigmatized today, even in the most advanced and democratic countries. The fear of being frowned upon by others makes some people talk about love when they really mean sex, so that singleness is associated with having a null sex life.

People who do not know how to be single for this reason, because, in reality, they do not have the means to live their sexual life. do not have the means to live their sexuality fully and honestly.Although this may lead them to give false hope to other people, they experience a repression that also causes them discomfort.

3. Are victims of the rebound effect in love

There is a type of relationships known as rebound relationships, which are characterized by the fact that they are actually an emotional cover to cover the emptiness left by an ex. In other words, there are people who do not know how to be alone because they try to find a way to experience again what they felt when they were with a certain person.

In these cases, the new relationships they start are often short-lived because of the problems that arise in them; at the end of the day, another person is being used as a "support for the imagination" in an experience that has more to do with simulating an experience than with living the real affection that someone is expressing.

4. Social pressure and the search for reputation

It should not be forgotten that the reason why a person does not get along well with singleness does not necessarily lie primarily in him or herself; the social context is very influential.

Nowadays, especially in social circles dominated by very young people (adolescents and post-adolescents), not having a partner for a long time can be a problem, not having a partner for a long time can be a source of ridicule.. Something that, regardless of whether or not we care about what they think of us, has consequences for the life of the person at risk: being treated worse, having less social support, etc. However, the opposite can also happen, seeking fame by flaunting the number of lovers one has (something more typical of men, since women can be stigmatized for this).

As a reaction to the possibility of being alone in love as well as in practically any social sphere, many young people rush to find a partner without paying much attention to whether they really feel something intense for the lover.

5. The quest for power

It should not be forgotten that some people only seek relationships as a pretext to be in a situation where they can dominate. a situation in which they can easily dominate someone, manipulate him or her andmanipulating them and having intimacy at their disposal. For it, they look for people prone to be dominated if certain conditions are given and initiate a relationship based on the manipulation and the psychological or physical mistreatment.

Anuptophobia, reaching the mental disorder

In most cases, people who do not know how to be single are able to make some order in their lives and are not constantly obsessed with this problem. However, there are very extreme cases when the fear of singleness turns into a form of phobia. This phenomenon is known as anuptophobia.

In these cases, the person feels a sense of loss of control that leads to moments of crisis caused by the fear of being single. moments of crisis caused by the recurrent thought of not having a partner or of becoming a partner. or of becoming a partner. It is necessary to go through a therapeutic program that allows to return to normality making this kind of fears and recurrent thoughts appear less and less frequently.