The 6 Habits of Strong Relationships

Engagements and marriages are kept in shape through what you do, not what you say.

One thing experience teaches us is that relationships are less about finding the right person and more about learning to relate in a healthy way to the one who loves us. It is unrealistic to think that those courtships that work are those that are formed by lovers who fit in all aspects (the myth of the better half); what happens, in reality, is that their habits reinforce this emotional bond on a daily basis.

It's not about the essence of each one, it's about the way we interact. For example, even the most intense love is extinguished if it is not communicated, and if living together does not serve to express that affection.

So it all depends on our actions, not our identity. But... what are the habits that define strong couples? Let's see it in the next lines.

From platonic love to real love

What we have to do to lead a life of fluid couple and without necessary complications happens, precisely, for not confusing our partner with that platonic love we have been fantasizing about for years (often even since childhood). (many times, even since childhood). To be clear about this, and to avoid essentialism, is the first step to build a relationship that is worthwhile. After all, using someone as a representation of something we want to love even if it does not exist, hurts both of us.

This seems very obvious if we see it in writing, but in real life it is more difficult to discern those situations in which we fall into this mistake. For example, wanting to preferentially date people with very specific physical traits is an example of platonic love in a weak version: we like the idea of dating someone with dreadlocks so much that we even use this as a filtering mechanism.

However, once we have understood that the important thing is in the actions and not in the labels, there is still work to be done. What is missing, in fact, is the most important thing: to know what are those habits that strengthen relationships. Sometimes, these habits will already appear naturally in some relationships, while in others it is necessary to make some effort to in others it is necessary to make some efforts to implement them..

The habits of strong relationships

In order to maximize the possibilities for the development of a couple's relationship, and at the same time allow it to take deep roots, it may be useful to follow the guidelines below.

1. Symmetry in conversations

For a relationship to flow well, it is necessary to converse regularly, since this offers the possibility of peeking through a window into the thoughts of the other and, ultimately, to know in real time their opinions, fears and hopes, and to empathize better. However, this dialogue must be symmetrical. In other words, it is not enough just to talk or listen, you have to do both..

It is clear that there is no exact match, and there will always be one person who is more inclined to talk than the other; the important thing is to avoid situations in which the role of one of the partners is reduced to that of a passive listener, a simple means of letting off steam.

2. Do not give up your social life

Forgetting about old friends when you have a partner is commonplace, but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Hanging out and having fun in circles of lifelong friendships is a perfect way to enrich relationships, since it allows us to get to know facets of the person we love that we didn't reveal. of enriching relationships, since it allows us to get to know facets of the person we love that were not revealed in the context of dating or marriage.

On the other hand, locking oneself in a couple relationship is not positive either, since it facilitates the creation of mutual dependence: as both people have broken the ties that bound them to their friends, the fear of the relationship ending can take control of the situation, since in that case one would be in a situation of social isolation. would be in a situation of social isolation..

3. Express love

This is basic. There are people who, because of the way they have learned to behave or because of the culture in which they have lived for most of their lives, tend to avoid expressing what they feel, tend to avoid expressing what they feel.

In these cases it is common for them to justify this position by thinking that the important thing is that love is something that is carried inside and that is not taught, since to do so would be considered trivializing. However, this is a mistake, since the other person does not have access to those "depths" of the mind of the being they love, no matter how much they are in love.

4. Constantly practicing mutual respect

Another habit of strong and consolidated relationships has to do with acting in accordance with the level of respect one feels for the other; neither humor nor "games" justify, for example, the habit of always playing jokes on the other person, or ridiculing his or her way of expressing emotions.

Relationships should be a context in which to communicate emotions and feelings without fear of being judged. communicate emotions and feelings without fear of being judged.Even though these may be disguised as "jokes" or crude honesty, this does not mean that in practice they do not serve as an example.

5. Change of scenery

All of the above is useless if the body asks to break the monotony and the fact of being with someone anchors us in the same place. Even if we decide to sacrifice that possibility to make the relationship follow its usual channels, in the end the frustration can overwhelm us.

That is why it is healthy to assume that a relationship is not the usual place where two people interact; it is the interaction itself, regardless of where it takes place. Rejecting the myth that a couple's life consists of having a house, a car, a dog and children (as if they were elements of a landscape) is the first step; the second step is to live adventures together from time to time and, above all, move around.

6. Divide household chores

This detail seems banal compared to the rest, but it is not. The belief in the equality of the members of the couple is demonstrated by betting on equal sharing of household choresIn the case of heterosexual relationships, this usually means that the woman does most of the housework.