Avoidant personality: 5 common characteristics and traits

This personality type is characterized by fear of uncomfortable or novel situations.

Each person is different. Each and every one of us has our own way of being. We all have our own personality.

Some people have acquired ways of acting that directly and actively affect what is going on around them, or are comfortable experiencing new things. Other people fear the approach to situations, conflicts or even people, avoiding some situations because of this fear and seeking security. If the latter is carried out as a habitual pattern of behavior we may be talking about an avoidant personality.

The personality

The personality is the habitual and relatively stable pattern of behaviors.This is what makes us see, interpret, think, evaluate and act in the world in a certain way. It is an element that is shaped throughout our development and that comes partly from the Biological inheritance of our relatives and ancestors and partly from learning throughout the life cycle.

And the fact is that what we live is also very important: throughout life we learn values and ways of acting, we see that acting in a certain way can have its advantages and disadvantages and in general we experiment with different strategies when facing situations, some of which are more or less successful for us.

Some end up having a dominant personality, others submissive. Some learn to approach and face risk as a way to achieve their goals. Others learn to think long and hard before they act and tend to seek out environments where they feel safe, staying away from anything that might harm them. In any case, personality predisposes us to behave in certain ways, personality predisposes us to behave in certain ways..

Characteristics of people with avoidant personalities

Although each person is different, there are often patterns of behavior that are common among people. In the case of avoidant people, we can detect some personality characteristics that are common (although not necessarily essential).

Someone with an avoidant personality will be characterized by, as the name suggests, avoiding problems and inhibiting their behavior as a way of not suffering possible negative consequences..

1. Sensitivity

Generally, people who develop an avoidant personality tend to have a high level of sensitivity, which makes them experience sensations intensely. They are especially sensitive to rejection and criticism.

2. Discretion and politeness

They tend to be discreet people who usually do not like to draw too much attention to themselves and are and are generally courteous during a casual interaction.

3. Low self-esteem and indecisiveness

It is not uncommon for them to be people who need affection and external approval to maintain their self-esteem, which is generally low. It is common for them to be indecisivewith difficulties in making decisions unless they receive palpable support. If their position is different from that of the rest, it is common for them to keep quiet about it for fear of criticism. Uncertainty often causes them great discomfort.

4. Taste for the familiar

These are people who tend to have a preference for routine and to feel uncomfortable with novelties. uncomfortable with novelties.. In many cases they are homebodies and feel good in known environments, although in others they would like to be more open and adventurous.

5. Social aspects

On a social level, they tend to see themselves as not very capable and may even consider themselves inferior to the rest, which leads them to avoid contact or to avoid contact or feel uncomfortable in the presence of strangers or large groups of people. or large groups of people. This does not imply that they do not want to socialize or that they do not like the contact itself, they are simply afraid to do so. Nor does it mean that their social skills are bad: in most cases they are average in this regard, they just don't express them.

They usually have a restricted group of relationships with which they feel comfortable, having very deep ties with them, valuing intimacy with friends and family to a great extent. Although in many cases they isolate themselves, in others they relate to a great extent with whoever interacts with them, giving the appearance of disinhibition. However, this contact tends to be shallow except with a few people.

What does avoidance involve?

The fact of avoiding the anxiety-generating situation reassures them, as they do not have to face a stimulus. by not having to deal with a stimulation that generates discomfort, although paradoxically, not having toParadoxically, however, not coping with the avoided situation will cause the fear of it to be maintained or even worsened.

Likewise, not coping can be experienced as a failure, diminishing the person's self-esteem and serving the subject as confirmation of his or her possible feeling of inadequacy and maladjustment.

Why do these types of personalities arise?

The circumstances by which this type of personality arises can be very variable and do not end up being fully known. However, it is relatively common for them to develop in situations where they have been isolated or marginalized.

In some cases, the feelings that end up triggering avoidance arise due to experiencing abuse and/or contempt towards their person at key moments of development, from experiences in which they have been embarrassed or inferior in the eyes of others.. In this way, a fear of reliving such a situation may develop and, with the passage of time, a consistent avoidance of all those experiences that remind them of it may be born.

The feeling of inadequacy, the preconceived idea that they will be criticized or rejected, and intolerance to failure and uncertainty are often key aspects that lead these people to try to avoid people and situations.

Avoidant personality disorder

These characteristics that we have seen need not be pathological per se. per se.we have to take into account that we are facing a way of facing life that for some people can be functional, if it does not interfere in the life of the person generating discomfort and limiting his performance or does not negatively affect the person himself or his environment.

However, if these characteristics are taken to the extreme and generate suffering and significant affectation, we may be dealing with an avoidant personality disorder or avoidant personality disorder.

This disorder corresponds to a pattern of inhibited behavior in which low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, fear of rejection or ridicule, avoidance of interpersonal relationships, and a reluctance to take risks and change are the most common. It is also common for sufferers to be hypervigilant most of the time, to be distrustful and to reject physical contact and responsibilities.