How is the psychological treatment for victims of narcissistic behavior?

These are the forms of psychological intervention used in victims of narcissistic behavior.

Narcissism is more than a psychological trait that is present in large quantities in some people; moreover, it is projected beyond the individual, affecting the relationships he or she establishes with others.

In other words, those who are very narcissistic process their thoughts and emotions in a characteristic way, but they also express their interests and their way of being in a very marked way, often problematic and capable of hurting others.

Therefore, in this article we will see how to work in psychotherapy with people who have developed psychological problems because of their dealings with markedly narcissistic people..

What is narcissism?

The idea of narcissism occupies a prominent place in popular culture. We often use the label "narcissistic" to refer to people who seem to be overly self-centered, who do not think about others at all.

In fact, as society is perceived as an entity made up of individualistic subjects focused on their own particular wants and needs, there are many who believe that narcissism is growing in society, especially among the youth, despite the fact that scientific research in psychology does not support such a claim.

On the other hand, through the media and other forms of cultural transmission that go beyond scientific dissemination, there is a very strong idea of what narcissism is, understood as the trait of a very self-centered and self-absorbed person. person who is very self-centered and who thinks little or nothing of others.. This definition is partly true, but as is often the case with psychological concepts transferred to popular knowledge, many nuances are lost in the process.

In fact, the main characteristics of narcissism are the main characteristics of narcissism are the following:

• Deep-rooted belief that oneself is special, superior to the rest, and deserves privileged treatment.
• Difficulty in admitting one's own mistakes, tendency to project them onto others.
• Constant concern about one's own appearance and how one is perceived by others.
• Tendency to overestimate one's own abilities and capabilities.
• Frequent need for external validation.

Being narcissistic does not always translate into an excess of self-esteem or insecurity, but rather into a hunger for self-esteem.Rather, it implies a voracious hunger for appreciation and admiration, a desire to be the center of attention and a search for special treatment that demonstrates that the narcissist is of superior status. Narcissism is characterized by a more or less developed feeling of grandiosity, a need for excessive admiration and the belief that one is unique and deserves special treatment.

In psychology, narcissism is conceived as a spectrum that shows a more or less a spectrum that shows a more or less marked predisposition to reproduce a certain type and pattern of behavior.This is why, beyond the existence of a narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism is also a concept approached from the Psychology of Individual Differences and Personality Traits. That is, it can be understood as a trait of which one has more or one has less, normally distributed in the population, and in most cases it does not become psychopathological.

Most people are in the middle of the normal curve, with levels of narcissism far from being considered pathological, being people focused on themselves. On the other hand, there are few people who are in one of the two extremes, both with a lot of narcissism and with little.

Narcissism in relationships

The desire of highly narcissistic people to get the admiration and compliments of others, especially potential romantic partners, makes them appear very charming and charismatic, a seductive behavior. However, due to their lack of empathy, it is difficult for a relationship of trust, mutual respect and understanding to be established between them and their partner, which makes the relationship take a short time to disintegrate.

Pathologically narcissistic people may show passion and charm during the first few dates; however, perceive relationships as a mere transaction. For them, relationships simply serve to provide them with much sought-after attention and sexual satisfaction to feed their ego and self-esteem. The goal is to enjoy pleasure, and many narcissists lose interest in relationships as partner intimacy increases.

It is very difficult for people with narcissistic personality disorder to fall in love and build a relationship based on respect and equality of partners. Those who are extremely narcissistic will try to establish very strict rules in the relationship and will try to isolate their new partner from friends and family, among other behaviors that border on abuse. behaviors that border on mistreatment and possessive control..

That is why very marked narcissism is considered, along with Machiavellianism and psychopathy, one of the psychological traits that are part of the "dark triad" (or Dark Triad), psychological elements linked to antisocial behavior and that can not only cause discomfort in relationships, but even facilitate the emergence of abusive dynamics capable of causing psychological problems in the partners and friendships of these people.

How does one intervene in psychotherapy with victims of narcissists?

In cases in which the habitual treatment with a very narcissistic person has caused psychological damage in the patient, the strategies and techniques used for this kind of treatment in psychotherapy are usually the following (depending on a previous assessment of the needs, characteristics and vital context of each person).

Cognitive restructuring

Victims of very narcissistic people often blame themselves for much of what happened, which not only generates a lot of discomfort for them, but also makes it difficult for them to overcome the experience.This not only causes them a lot of discomfort, but also makes it difficult for them to overcome the experience. Therefore, in therapy we help them to get rid of these blaming beliefs through cognitive restructuring, a process in which the person is helped to detect these dysfunctional beliefs and to question them, to finally replace them with others that are more in line with reality.

EMDR therapy

The EMDR approach has been shown to be effective especially in cases where the relationship with the person in which the relationship with the narcissistic person has given rise to sequelae in the form of trauma or complications in the management of anxiety in general..

This intervention creates the necessary conditions for the patient's brain to process the memories of that relationship in a way that does not generate a strong emotional response associated with discomfort, so that the person accepts what happened and stops trying to "block" the evocation of that part of his or her memory because of how bad it makes him or her feel.

Assertiveness training and improvement of self-esteem

Social skills training is often important in these cases.It allows the person to learn from what happened and to understand all the nuances of why his or her relationship with the narcissistic person was unsatisfactory and based on an asymmetry of power.

In this sense, the development of assertiveness is especially relevant, and allows the patient to express their needs and feelings without constantly giving in to the fear of rejection (something that often occurs in the victims of very narcissistic people since the latter tend to undervalue the achievements and opinions of those around them).

Looking for psychotherapy services?

If you would like to have psychotherapeutic support, please contact us.

At Psicomaster we attend people of all ages in our center located in Madrid, both from psychotherapy and from the field of psychiatry. In addition, we also offer the possibility of online sessions by video call.