Sentimental shock: definition, causes, symptoms and phases

After a traumatic separation, certain signs may appear that should be taken into account.

Queen Victoria of England is said to have spent months sobbing continuously and mourning the death of her husband, Prince Albert.. Such was the Queen's grief that the palace became her prison and she wore mourning clothes for the rest of her days.

Although in the Victorian era they were not aware of it, the queen suffered what is now called sentimental shock. A state of hopelessness and anguish that a person suffers after a breakup of love, or after the loss of a loved one. This state consists of different phases, with a beginning and an end, and that serve to the person to recover of this sentimental rupture.

What is sentimental shock?

Sentimental shock occurs after a love breakup, and is defined because the person experiences a state of dullness or psychological paralysis which may be accompanied by a feeling of psychological disorientation and emptiness..

It is necessary to clarify that sentimental shock is not considered a disorder in itself, but a natural phenomenon, with a predictable course of symptoms, and with well-defined phases and stages for which there is a beginning and an end.

Although each person experiences emotional shock in a different way, it is usual that the first crisis or the first breakup is experienced in a much more traumatic way, since the person does not yet have a clear beginning and an end.The first crisis or breakup is usually experienced in a much more traumatic way, since the person does not yet have the necessary tools or mechanisms to cope with the situation.

Likewise, another tendency that is repeated in most people is that the degree of strength of the sentimental shock is directly proportional to the intensity of the commitment that the relationship possessed. The longer a person has been with a person and the deeper the commitment, the longer it will take to get over the breakup.

Can emotional trauma be overcome?

Usually, most people manage to overcome the effects of emotional shock within the first year after a breakup. However, it is natural to find people who take somewhat longer to recover, depending on how well they are functioning personally.

Emotional shock is a normal and even healthy process, which does not become pathological unless the person tries to repress it or compensate for it through denial behaviors. or compensate it by means of denial or excess behaviors, such as drug or alcohol abuse.

For a successful overcoming of the breakup it is necessary to face the Pain and move forward with it, to experience the emotional shock, going through its different phases and understanding each of its peculiarities.

Failure to recognize and manifest emotional distress can seriously damage the psychological health of the person. It has been shown that the effects of a poorly resolved emotional shock, in addition to harming emotional health, have multiple consequences on the organism.

A feeling of constant grief, depression or despondency and disappointment can even weaken a person's immune system, making him or her more susceptible to physical illness.

Therefore, although unpleasant and painful, Sentimental shock is a sign of health and the only way to get over a breakup..

Symptoms

Although, as mentioned above, emotional shock cannot be considered a psychiatric disorder or illness, it does present a common symptomatology in most people who suffer from it. Among the symptoms that can be found are:

• Nausea
• Loss of appetite
• Crying spells
• Profound feelings of sadness or depression
• Insomnia or trouble falling asleep
• Memory loss
• Lack of energy
• Need to withdraw
• Feeling of lack of control over life
• Promiscuity
• Feeling of emptiness
• Intensified feelings
• Feeling of anguish at the thought of being left alone

As the person begins to understand the dynamics of the emotional shock experience, he/she will progressively acquire skills that will help him/her to control his/her feelings and fears.

Also, knowing the different stages of the process and that they have both a beginning and an end has a calming effect on the person..

The six stages of emotional shock

As mentioned above, the symptoms of emotional shock develop in a predefined pattern, the symptoms of emotional shock develop according to a pre-established pattern of six stages: shock, grief, adjudication of guilt, resignation, reconstruction and resolution..

The rate at which a person slides from one stage to another is called the time of affective change, and it varies greatly from person to person. Some people experience the different stages very quickly while others experience them very slowly.

Also, the intensity of the symptoms will decrease as the person goes through the different stages. Typically, greater distress is experienced in the stages of shock, grief and adjudication of guilt.

Finally, and before going on to explain the different stages, it is necessary to point out that, despite common patterns, the experience of sentimental shock need not be linear.. The person can move backwards and forwards through the different stages according to the coping mechanisms he/she has.

1. Shock

In the first stage, called shock, the person experiences an impending sense of psychological paralysis, accompanied by disorientation and disbelief..

In very extreme cases, the person may feel unable to perform basic actions such as eating or sleeping, and may even forget what happened during this phase.

The shock stage serves as an insulator from the impact of a loss or breakup, and its duration is usually between one day and one month, but rarely lasts longer.

2. Grief

During this stage of grief, the person not only mourns the loss of a person, but also mourns for all the time they shared and all the experiences they have had..

This grief may turn into feelings of anger and irritation. The person may feel moody or angry, due to frustration and the perception that no one person is able to understand what he or she is feeling.

It is usual that when the person is in this stage he/she feels the need to communicate with the other, to maintain some kind of contact, however unreal it may be. Attempts that, as a general rule, are more harmful than beneficial.

3. Blame attribution

When the feeling of grief is reduced, the person feels the need to know what has happened to the relationship.. Therefore, there is an urge to analyze everything that has happened throughout the relationship, looking for blame in oneself as well as in others.

In addition, it is usual to analyze the different situations that the partner has experienced to know what he/she would have done to avoid it, or, on the contrary, to analyze it to blame the other.

4. Resignation

Also known as the stage of goodbyeThis is the moment in which the person is able to accept that the other is no longer in his or her life. It is the time to accept that the relationship is over, to separate completely from the other person and to regain energy.

This is the stage in which people usually spend the most time, since on the one hand they feel relieved to be able to overcome the breakup, however, they also experience feelings of grief for having to leave the relationship completely.

5. Reconstruction

At this moment the person notices that he/she spends more happy moments than sad ones.They are able to regain their concentration and feel that their life belongs to them again.

They also feel ready to go out and meet other people and begin to focus more on their own needs than on thoughts about the past.

To complete this stage successfully they will need to rebuild their strength, develop their self-esteem and self-confidence.

6. Resolution

With resolution begins the start of a new life cycle. The person has managed to resolve the conflict from the beginning of the shock and his or her life is back on a new course. At this point the person has the confidence to create his or her own well-being..