The 6 main types of toxic relationships

Today we classify the most frequent types of toxic relationships.

Toxic relationships have been talked about before, but there is one fact to which it is necessary to pay attention: this is a concept that encompasses many types of situations that are very different from each other.

That is to say that There are several types of toxic relationships with different characteristics and encompassing different forms of relationship in which one or both members of the in which one or both partners experience discomfort.

Why do some people insist on making life difficult for others?

There are certain affective relationships that, in spite of the fact that they begin generating many pleasant experiences, with the passage of time they become twisted and end up being harmful for one of the people involved or even for both. However, in many cases they do not come to an end when they occur, but are perpetuated, reproducing over and over again the same dynamic of attacks, omissions, insensitivity towards the other person, etc.

The way in which these toxic relationships take shape in a friendship, kinship, dating or marriage connection may vary, although there are a number of common characteristics.although there are a number of common characteristics that remain. Some of them amount to outright abuse (and in these cases it is better to speak bluntly of abuse, not toxic relationships), and in other cases the source of the discomfort is in rather unintentional or semi-involuntary behaviors that are not as serious.

In any case, one of the characteristics of all types of toxic relationships is that there is an emotional element that makes breaking up with them painful or, at the very least, very uncomfortable. As a result, many of them remain afloat for months or even years.

They are relationships that tend to worsen over time due to the attitude of a particular person. The problem with these types of relationships is that, in the end, there is always someone who ends up paying the price and suffering..

The main types of toxic relationships

That is why is good to have in mind even if it is a scheme about the main toxic relationships and the way in which they can be identified.

1. The relationship in which power of decision is ceded.

In some couples one of the two people takes the capacity to make the important decisions and becomes, in a way, the boss of the relationship. Of course, this hierarchization of the couple has no real justification, since unlike what happens in teams focused on a specific goal (selling or producing a type of product), the couple is not focused on performing certain tasks efficiently: its existence is justified by the affective bonds of its members.

Therefore, the motives behind this power grab cannot be justified on the basis of how useful it is for achieving certain goals and, moreover, it undermines the autonomy of one of the partners, undermines the autonomy of one of the partners, who sees how his or her decision-making power is drastically reduced..

This may not be perceived as a problem at first, since it can be seen as a type of relationship in which the other person is the one who takes risks and makes things more difficult. However, entering into these dynamics will cause one party to become accustomed to giving orders and the other to obeying without question..

2. The relationship based on blackmail

Sometimes, the affections and love that were once the basis and justification of the relationship are replaced by a form of blackmail that lengthens the life of the relationship in a harmful and artificial way.

The case of emotional blackmail is clear: a person feels sorry for his or her partner and grants him or her privileged and favorable treatment.This in turn serves so that the other person learns to "be a victim" in order to collect his or her benefits. In this relationship the main victim is the one who constantly gives in, since in practice she is being controlled and manipulated by her partner.

The latter may make it appear that she leaves the other with full capacity to make decisions about her own life, but indirectly does things to make the other feel bad when, for example, she goes out partying with friends of the opposite sex and without her "supervision". In other words, the tool that the manipulative party uses to benefit is his or her ability to induce guilt in the other party..

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3. The idealized other

This type of toxic relationship appears when it starts to become evident that one or both partners have not fallen in love with the person with whom they share affection, but with an idealized version of him or her. Although this fact may have been intuited during the first months of the relationship, it is possible that little importance is given to it and that, in any case, this cognitive dissonance has been solved by overestimating the capacity of the other person to change in the future and adapt to our expectations.

When it becomes evident that the other person will not change in the way we want him/her to, resentment appears.. However, the worst scenario that can occur from this type of toxic relationship is when the pressure that one of the two people exerts on the other to try to change becomes a form of abuse.

4. The idealized relationship

As it is possible to idealize a person, also the same thing can happen with the relations. If the degree of idealization is sufficiently intense, this will transform it into a type of toxic relationship..

The fundamental problem in this type of relationship is that the partners start out with very different expectations about what their relationship will be like. This is basically a problem of a communication problem during the early stages of the relationship..

For example, if there is a long distance between their homes, one of them may assume that after a few months of saving the other person will move in with them, or they may assume that at some point they will both move to a city where neither of them has lived, while the other one prefers not to make this sacrifice because they are happy to see their partner only on weekends.

This is one of the types of toxic relationships whose effects are felt in the long term, when several sacrifices have been made for the partner that at a certain point can be seen as futile or useless, which is why it is so important to make a long-term relationship. can produce a lot of resentment and frustration.

5. The instrumental relationship based on lies

This is a type of toxic relationship in which the partner is seen as a means to fill an existential void or crisis, to obtain the approval of others or to have access to certain resources, and in which the other person is deceived about the nature of the emotional ties that have been created between the two parties.

It may also be the case that the person is not fully aware of the real motivations that lead him/her to continue with the relationship..

6. Fear-based relationships

Of course, relationships in which there is clear abuse based on aggression (physical or verbal) and the fear that the partner will retaliate if he/she finds out certain things is not only a toxic relationship, but a serious threat whose resolution must be managed through the judicial system.