The 6 Theories of Interpersonal Attraction

Several explanations given from Social Psychology to better understand how attraction works.

One of the main concerns that has traditionally invaded the human being as the social animal that he is, is the search for a person to occupy the role of partner or sexual partner.

However, what mechanisms underlie the fact that we pay more attention to some people than to others? Why are we attracted to some people and not to others?

Some social psychology theorists have defined a series of theories of attraction that try to explain what mechanisms or steps are involved in our attraction to some people and not to others. that try to explain what mechanisms or steps a person follows, unconsciously, when feeling any type of attraction for another.

What is attraction?

The physical or sexual attraction that people experience. is defined as the ability to generate and attract the physical, sexual or emotional interest of other people. Also, according to some authors, attraction refers exclusively to sexual or erotic interest.

However, it has been proven that people can also feel a romantic attraction towards someone, sexual attraction and emotional attraction need not be simultaneous, that is to say, the existence of one does not necessarily imply the existence of the other.

Research in the field of psychology has revealed that there are a number of variables that influence whether a person is attracted to another person or not. The variables that influence attraction are:

1. Physical attractiveness

Regardless of the conceptions that each individual has about who is attractive and who is not, this point has a very important weight when it comes to feeling attraction towards a person.

2. Excitement

According to a series of investigations, contexts or situations that generate high emotional arousal create a perfect environment to generate create a perfect environment to generate passionate stimuli.

Thus, people who are involved, together, in situations or states of tension, are more likely to be attracted to each other.

3. Proximity

This is one of the simplest and at the same time most important variables. The spatial proximity factor is the one that determines how many people we can meet, and therefore with how many we are attracted to.and therefore how many people we can be intimate with.

However, in the Internet era, the so-called "virtual proximity" element is gaining more and more weight, enabling people to get to know each other without the need to be geographically close.

4. Reciprocity

Manifestations or displays of intimacy almost always produce more expressions of intimacy. This means that it is usually people are attracted to other people they like or, at least, who like them. or, at least, whom they think they like.

In addition, reciprocity is usually important in that it allows people to get to know each other. That is, people tend to be attracted to those who show themselves as they are. Likewise, when one person opens up to another, feelings of attraction are usually generated as long as they are reciprocated.

5. Similarity

This factor can occur in different ways, such as similarities in terms of age, education in terms of age, education, economic status, hobbies, hobbies, hobbies, etc.self-esteem, etc. The more similarities there are between two people, the more likely they will be attracted to each other.

6. Obstacles

According to this factor, as in the case of Romeo and Juliet, love increases with obstacles. In many occasions, the interferences that may arise end up intensifying even more the feelings for the other person, or making two people feel even more united by having a "common enemy" to fight.

This factor can occur to such an extent that that couples create supposed external enemies to fight against together.However, these "enemies" need to be rather weak. Moreover, this constant search for interference to enhance the feelings of love can end up turning against the couple.

Theories of attraction

Although they do not necessarily occur simultaneously, all of the above factors and variables must be present to a greater or lesser extent for attraction or even falling in love to be triggered.

As a result, a series of theories of interpersonal attraction have been developed to explain how the various feelings of attraction arise in people.

1. "Hard to get" theory

This theory relates to the factor of obstacles in the relationship. Its main idea is that people are attracted to what they can't get or, at the very least, what they can't get. or that, at the very least, there are a large number of difficulties in doing so.

This observation can also be attributed to interpersonal relationships, in which both men and women are attracted to those people they perceive as "hard to get". However, this theory specifies that the attraction is not to people who are perceived to be hard for others to get, but relatively attainable for oneself.

In psychology this fact is explained by the theory of reactanceaccording to which many people desire that which is impossible or difficult for them to attain. These individuals feel that their freedom of choice is being undermined or they oppose the restriction of their freedom.

On the other hand, this assumption also explains that a person who has never felt any interest in a third that he or she has always perceived as attainable or available, begins to desire it the moment it is no longer attainable or available.

Similarity theory 2.

As described above, the similarity factor is a very important element when it comes to feeling attracted to someone.

According to this hypothesis, people tend to choose as partners those with whom they feel comforted, and possibly the most comforting characteristic of a potential love partner is that is as similar as possible to oneself, at least in someat least in some fundamental factors.

3. Complementarity theory

Related to the previous theory, some researchers propose that people do not choose their partners by similarity, but by complementarity.

This means that potential mates are chosen because they are complementary to the person. That is, they have a set of skills or excel in aspects in which the person him/herself does not.. For example, if a person describes themselves as talkative, it is very likely that they will end up focusing their attention on someone who is a good listener.

• Related article, "Are opposites really attracted to each other?"

4. Sequential filtering theory

This theory combines the two previous theories. According to this theoretical model, at first, the person looks for the other to be similar to him or her in certain in certain basic aspects, such as age, education, social class, etc.

In the event that the relationship prospers, and the person begins to see the other as a potential romantic partner, the similarity of personal values becomes relevant and, finally, in a third stage, complementary aspects come into play.

5. Stimulus-value-role theory

In relation to the approaches that this theory proposes, for two people to feel a mutual attraction it is necessary, first of all, that they correspond to each other at a basic level, this level is formed by age, physical aspect, economic position, first impressions, etc.

After the union, the person begins to give more importance to the values of the other person.The relationship is more likely to succeed if at a deeper level people share personal values.

In the last stage of the attraction and falling in love process, potential partners are discarded as long as the role issues are not compatible.. Two people may have very close values, but over time discover that their role expectations as a couple do not match.

6. Dyadic formation theory

This last theory proposes that for a relationship to develop positively, a series of stages must be completed, otherwise, sooner or later, the relationship will break down. These stages or processes are:

• Perception of similarities
• Good relationship
• Fluid communication through mutual openness
• Affable roles for each one separately
• Affable roles within the couple
• Dyadic crystallization: consists of the creation of an identity as a couple and the determination of the level of commitment.

All these theories come mainly from social psychology. However, there is a group of theories called Practical Theories that are the result of the professional experiences of professional psychotherapists, including Sigmund Freud, Abraham Maslow or Erich Fromm.