Toxic friendships: 7 signs of a bad friend

We all have a toxic friend, the one who doesn't remember you or blames you for what happens to him or her.

Could friendship turn into something negative? Several authors have described the influence of toxic friendships on people's mental balance.

Toxic friendships: becoming aware of the burden of bad friendships

We have all had, at one time or another, a "friend" who constantly got on our nerves. For some reason, something in their personality pushed them to have totally inappropriate attitudes and behaviors that made us feel bad.

Here are seven signs that a friendship is starting to be undesirable for you.

1. No reciprocity: they get and you give

If at any time you notice that the balance between giving and receiving is noticeably tipped with you being the one who gives and your friend rarely reaching out, you should rethink the situation. If after bringing up the lack of balance in your relationship with your friend, he or she is unwilling to change, you can start thinking about jumping ship.

This type of friend who always demands your attention but rarely gives it to you when you need it is known as an emotional vampire. emotional vampires. We talk more about them in this article:

• "Emotional Vampires: 7 personalities that steal your emotional well-being".

2. They don't support you for who you are

Friendly banter between colleagues is not uncommon, and most usually take it well. But when criticism and making you feel bad are part of your day-to-day conversations, the relationship is no longer positive for you, the relationship is no longer positive for you..

Toxic friendships can make you suffer. Undermining you may be a mechanism your friend uses to elevate his or her status above yours. This is often more painful when it happens in public. It is important to remind the friend that you want to be treated with respect, and if it is a person with whom you wish to maintain contact, give him or her time to reflect and change.

3. You can't trust them with your intimacies

A couple or three true friendships can be the foundation for a healthy life. The circle of such friendships is usually quite small, a select few who have proven over the years that you can trust them blindly. We tend to have a good number of superficial relationships in which we share thoughts, experiences and more trivial opinions, but those few to whom we entrust our secrets must be truly faithful, as well as knowing how to trust you with their secrets as well.

Keeping in mind that human beings are imperfect and can make mistakes, we should start to be suspicious when a friend is not careful on more than one occasion.. In this situation, you should be honest with him, show your disappointment and, if necessary, end the relationship or let time pass.

4. They bring out the worst version of you

When you suffer an emotional breakup or a bad moment, you may notice that your best friend is not able to be there for you. your best friend is not able to be by your side to accompany you during this time.. Maybe they prefer you to keep drinking, advise you to meet other people, encourage you to end relationships without trying to improve the situation or advise you that you should have cosmetic surgery to improve your self-esteem. If this is your case, try to promote new and healthier relationships as you stop spending so much time with your old friend.

5. They tend to disappoint you

When a friend frequently stands you up to meet others, you find it annoying, but many of us accept it as something that doesn't matter that much. If they cancel an outing to a big concert that you were also going to because they decided to prioritize a date at the movies with a potential date, we're also usually sympathetic. If you lend them money to buy a video game console and they don't pay you back, you should stop lending them money and rethink the relationship. If these situations occur regularly in the relationship, you will end up getting tired of their attitude.. Experience tells us that this type of friendships are difficult to reconduct.

6. They do not respect your partner, family or children.

It is not easy to assess how important our relationships are in keeping all the others alive. We rely on friends to help us or to share moments and experiences. We appreciate people with whom we share opinions, to the point that they will agree with us when we tell them that our partner is unreasonable or mean.

Sometimes, a friend may overstep certain boundaries, and that can make us feel bad if he or she criticizes or belittles someone we love.. Friendships that question your romantic relationship can lead you to break up the relationship, especially in times of special vulnerability. If this happens, you should make it clear that this makes you feel uncomfortable. If it is the case that the friend sustains these criticisms because of his own insecurities or jealousy, it is necessary to prioritize your relationship and social relationships that support your decision.

7. The friend wants to have a romantic relationship with you but you do not.

Many people try to maintain platonic relationships with former partners or friends they would like to date. Rarely does this happen in an agreed or consensual way, and many times the story ends badly and with negative consequences. But this is a problem that can be prevented if we use common sense..

When we are honest with ourselves, we can tell when a friend wants more than just friendship. When sexual attraction surfaces, it is usually impossible to ignore this fact and it is necessary to cut off the relationship unless you feel the same way. The best advice is to keep your former lovers in the past, unless you really feel you should be with that person.

Concluding...

In short, we should value friendships not for their quantity but for their quality: reliable friendships that are by your side in good times and bad should be cherished as an essential part of a healthy and happy life.