Why verbal abuse during childhood leaves its mark on us.

Psychological attacks on children's self-esteem affect their lives as adults.

There are certain myths about childhood according to which what happens to us during the first years of life determines who we will be as adults. For example, many people believe that the personality of parents "rubs off" on their sons and daughters because of living together, but the data show that this does not happen.

However, it is true that in childhood there are experiences that leave a deep mark on people. Verbal abuse in childhood is one of those phenomena that, if it is repeated that, if repeated systematically over several weeks or months, can leave a deep imprint on our identity.

But... how does this process by which a few words change us occur? We will now look at the logic behind it all.

Verbal abuse during childhood: why it leaves its mark

There are many types of violence beyond physical violence. In part, aggressions have a psychological component that should not be overlooked. However, we sometimes forget that just as any act of direct violence is an attack on the victim's dignity, so are insults and expressions of contempt.

If verbal aggression is used, it is precisely because it has an effect that goes beyond conveying ideas.. It has an emotional impact. And the emotional impact that verbal abuse has on children is articulated through two distinct processes. Let's see them.

The prioritization of the negative

As victims, we are especially sensitive to stimuli that can be interpreted as an attack. In general, we attach more importance to the negative aspects of life than to the positive. For example, it has been shown that after a verbal attack has been made, the use of compliments made afterwards does not serve to reverse the negative effects of the attack.

This makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. Since our survival comes first, our nervous system prioritizes information related to verbal information relating to danger signals, or signals of a possible situation, are prioritized in our nervous system.or signals of a possible situation in which we are at a disadvantage. This is why it has been proven that insults have a much greater psychological impact than praise or compliments.

In the same way, our memory also stores information related to unpleasant or negative experiences more diligently. This allows us to keep these facts in mind so as not to repeat them and to look for danger signs in the present based on these data.

Verbal abuse is so simple and so easy to carry out that once it has begun to be used, it is very easy for it to be repeated. This means that the children who are victims of verbal abuse have, as first-hand first-hand information stored in their memoryThis means that the child victims have, as first-hand information stored in their memory, many memories related to insults and similar elements.

Identity formation

Childhood is a turbulent time, although it may not seem so. The brain undergoes a great deal of modification in a short period of time, but there are also psychological, psychological, and psychological changes. There are also changes of a psychological nature, not only in the neurobiological stratum, but also in the psychological stratum of the brain..

In the first years of life, self-image is formed, the self-concept that will influence the way we create expectations about our capabilities, personality and possible life achievements.

When verbal abuse occurs, as we have seen, much of the information about oneself that we have at hand is emotionally linked to unpleasant, stressful or even fearful moments. It is not only that when we think of ourselves we think of the content of those insults, but also that the discomfort we experienced in those moments is evoked by memory, we experience it a second time (although usually in a somewhat less intense way).

In a manner of speaking, childhood is that stage of life in which our ideas are most sensitive to the influence of our environment, and it is to the influence of the environment, and that is why something as disruptive and violent as verbal abuse penetrates deeply into our thoughts and, once it has affected our self-concept, it is very easy for that influence to be maintained and to have repercussions on our self-esteem.

Thus, any sign that one might be someone undesirable is magnified and can become obsessive for the child, and something similar can happen when the child reaches adulthood.

Concluding

We should give more importance to experiences that, despite not involving physical violence, compromise the self-esteem and self-concept of young people. The brain is very sensitive to changes during the first stage of life.This is why verbal abuse compromises its functioning when it comes to thinking about oneself.