8 keys to find out if you are the negative party in a love relationship

Some guidelines to discover if you are the most negative person in a love relationship.

All couples have their ups and downs. There are moments of great happiness and others when you are not so happy, but if the relationship is strong and there is mutual understanding, it is a matter of time before the small problems of living together are solved.

Naturally, a couple is the union of two people who have different personality traits, but who are supposed to feel comfortable together. Now, sometimes it happens that one of them is excessively negative, so much so that it can make the other one not enjoy the relationship.

Here we are going to explore how to know if you are the negative party in a relationship, so you know where to start.So you know where to start when it comes to overcoming a couple's crisis.

How do you know if you are the negative part in a relationship?

In a relationship not everything is always perfect, since as in any relationship there are ups and downs, moments in which both of you grow together learning and facing adversity.

Criticism and complaints are something normal in every couple, something that if they appear from time to time and are properly responded to, they serve to improve the relationship. If there is something wrong, the best thing to do is to say assertively that it is wrong, but of course, with the intention of finding a solution and set about correcting it.

Spending too much time complaining over and over again about how bad our boyfriend/spouse is doing and pretending to do absolutely nothing is, without a doubt, a toxic attitude. If it is the case that you are one of those who behave this way with your partner, it is quite likely that you are part of the problem in the relationship or, at the very least, the one who plays the negative part. Being all the time focusing on the bad and not doing anything to bring the good will end up, sooner or later, being a problem for the relationship.

The negativity of one person acts as an inevitable destroyer of the other person's happiness, even causing depressive feelings.and even provokes depressive feelings. The negativity bias is a factor that increases the possibility of the self-fulfilling prophecy of thinking that sooner or later the relationship will come to an end. To top it off, being a pessimistic person is the worst thing for anyone's libido, causing the frequency and quality of relationships to be diminished.

If you want to find out if you are really the negative party in a relationship or confirm your doubts in case you had them, here are 8 subtle signs that indicate if you are this type of person (although they don't have to happen all at once).

1. You argue all the time

It is normal (and inevitable) to argue from time to time with our partner, because no relationship is perfect and there can always be small quarrels. Now, if it happens that we argue every now and then, the problem is not what is being discussed but the attitude we have, prone to initiate these arguments..

If you are the one who constantly initiates arguments with your partner, this is a clear sign that you do not bring much coexistence to the relationship. If you argue more frequently and the conflicts are not adequately resolved, it is only a matter of time before the relationship collapses and falls apart.

2. You always complain to your friends

It is certainly not a good sign that you are complaining about your partner to your friends, instead of talking to your partner about the problems and trying to solve them together. Of course, your friends can give you advice or help you, but if the complaining is constant and you don't do anything about it, it's not a good sign. if the complaining is constant and you do absolutely nothing to remedy the situation, you are not exactly a facilitator..

No one wants to hear constant complaints about your relationship, so if you have a problem with your partner, then fix it. It's only a matter of time before your friends, fed up with your endless complaining, tell you to break up with your partner for good (and they may do it thinking more of her than of you).

3. Your partner doesn't open up to you anymore

Another sign of negativity on your part is that your partner no longer feels comfortable sharing his or her intimate life, opinions and experiences. Instead of sharing the things that happen in her day-to-day life, she prefers to keep them to herself, to keep quiet about them, or to tell other people about them. He doesn't tell you for fear that you might say something negative to him and make something she was proud of no longer make her proud.

4. You are dissatisfied in general

People are not light beings 24/7. There are times when we are happy and times when we are sad. It is totally natural not to be happy all the timeIn life, it is normal to experience the ups and downs of the roller coaster of emotions.

However, being dissatisfied in general, sad all the time or unhappy with just about everything is not good for our relationship or for ourselves. This can be a symptom of a mental health problem. for which we should seek professional help, thinking both in our own good and in the good of the relationship.

5. You are sexually dissatisfied

When it comes to sex, there is everything. There are couples who do not have any sexual relationship, and that is not necessarily a problem.. There are many asexual couples who maintain a deep, satisfactory and complete sentimental relationship without resorting to carnal pleasure. Sex is not everything in love.

However, it must be recognized that for most couples it is important and, if it is not taken into account, it is a major handicap. There are even couples in which the simple fact of not having a full sex life can be the beginning of the end of the relationship..

If you are a couple who have had sexual relations before and now you no longer maintain them, it is evident that there is a problem. Maybe your partner's attraction to you is fading because, although you haven't changed physically, you have changed emotionally, or he or she has discovered a psychological side of you that has killed his or her libido. Negativity does not invite you to have sex.

6. You always have to give your opinion

You are one of those people who have the enormous need to give your opinion, even if absolutely nobody has asked you for it, knowing that they are not usually very pleasant.. Saying bad things, even if they are excused in "it's just my opinion", does not stop hurting, something that your partner will take it especially badly. It is painful to go out with someone who criticizes us, even if he/she does it unintentionally.

7. Your partner talks to others before talking to you

Your partner may tell you what is going on in his or her daily life but, before doing it with you, he or she does it with people such as co-workers, friends, relatives...

It is inevitable that in more than one occasion he/she tells certain things before to other people than to you, this is not in itself a problem; the problem comes when he/she tells absolutely everything before to people with whom he/she is not supposed to have such an intimate and personal bond as the one he/she is supposed to have with you.

The most likely reason for all this is that whenever he tells you something, you react negatively and end up undermining his morale.. Therefore, before receiving your unpleasant comments, she prefers to load herself with the positivity of other people and, thus, when she ends up telling you about the things she has done, her opinions or perspectives, your pessimistic comments do not end up sinking her into misery.

8. He stops doing special things with you

At the beginning of any relationship it is normal to make more plans together than after a while. The spark of passion and the illusion to see that special person ends up lowering a little intensity with the passage of time, but in every good relationship it does not end up being extinguished.. There is always something to do, for example, cooking together, meeting for dinner, going on an outing... things like that.

When the time comes when there is absolutely nothing to do together, it is time to worry. It may be the case that you no longer feel like doing anything new and, of course, he or she is not exactly looking forward to sharing their time and energy with someone who has stagnated or who sees every new plan as something that makes him or her lazy. If you are a person who no longer feels like trying new things with your partner or, at the very least, having experiences together, that is a sign of negativity.

What to do in these cases?

The most effective way to address this type of couple problems is to go to psychotherapy. If you are looking for psychological assistance services, I invite you to contact me; my name is Javier Ares and I attend in person and online, both individual patients and couples.