Forgetting is the problem and remembering is the solution.

A reflection on self-knowledge and its relationship with memory.

Where were we before we were born? Normally we do not remember. This is normal, although there are people (very rare exceptions) who do remember. And they remember that they were in a state of total happiness. That state of happiness is our natural state, in which there is still no ego ("I" as opposed to a "you") and, therefore, no fear.

We also do not remember what it was like the first moment we came into life, i.e. the moment we were born. But we can remember other people's births (perhaps our children). We all cry, and it is not only because for the first time we make use of our lungs, but also because for the first time we move away from that state of total happiness and we know that soon we will begin to forget...

What do we forget?

In the first 3 years of life we forget, little by little, who we really are. We forget our true identity, which is pure joy and awareness. We forget that we are all children or expressions of the same Universe-Being. We forget that we are just passing through this school (called Earth). We forget that our soul has no preference for race, ideology or sex because for the soul all are enriching experiences. We forget that we have not come to Earth to be "somebody", because we already are. We forget that there is no destination to reach, but that the important thing is the journey and learning.

We forget that our true family is not of Blood but of the heart. We forget that we made certain "pacts" or contracts with other souls and that we are predestined to fulfill them. We forget that the magic is in the present moment and not in the past or in the future. We forget that Love is our essence and the only thing that really matters. We forgot that we came to this world with a very clear purpose (a plan) and that we need to experience what it is to be lost and aimless. We forgot that it was necessary to forget in order to remember and experience the joy of recognizing ourselves.

How do we forget?

We forget by identifying ourselves with a thought (called "I" or ego) and believing that "I am not enough" as I am. We mistake our essence for a self that believes itself to be imperfect. During the first 7 years we form our limited "I" thanks to the work of our parents, family and society. They program us with a series of beliefs. For example:

We believe we are a body (which we can see in the mirror and recognize for the first time as "my" body when we are about a year and a half old). We believe that there are good and bad emotions and that they define us (for example, if I feel joy I think everything is going well, and if I feel sadness, I think something is wrong with me). We believe that there are better ideas than others (for example, if Barça wins it is better than if Madrid wins - and that depends on where you were born). We believe that to be happy you have to achieve certain milestones (for example, having friends, having studies, earning money, finding a partner...).

In short, we believe that you have to be what our parents and society expects of us, and nothing more. We must strive to be the best "character" (ego) possible and we do not question that character with which we have identified ourselves. Everyone around us is programmed as oneself and no one teaches us to question our own identity ("who I am"), until a crisis arrives.

What is a crisis?

Crises occur when our identity is challenged. We panic when our ideas of who we are (and, therefore, of the meaning of our life) are shaken.

The first crisis, however, was at birth, when we began to forget our essence, our true identity. And as adults clipped our wings for being ourselves, we began to develop a persona (ego) that would allow us to survive (adapt) in this society. But that persona is based on fear and a lie (for it is not true that we are not enough nor is it true that we are the body or our mind). We are the consciousness that inhabits them. We use the body and mind as an actor may use the costumes to play a role, but we are neither the mind nor the body.

Our ego (body-mind) is a mask with which we have identified ourselves in order to feel "safe". Our ego is a character that knows it is not real, because it only lives on memories (past) or imaginations (future). That ego disappears when you enter to live the here and now, which is the only real thing. This ego lives in fear of reality.

When we do not live in reality, there is fear. Fear feeds the ego. Fear is the owner of the mind (where the ego resides). But few people realize all this and, even if they have eyes, they do not see. Most people live asleep (not aware of who they are here and now, beyond their beliefs. Most live in fear of being themselves. Most are unable to sit in silence for 5 minutes and look inside. Most of them live identified with their character (ego) because they believe that this way they live "safer".

But this false security will be shaken when we have a serious illness, or an accident, or a family member or a pet dies, or we suffer a breakup, or we have to close our company, or astrologically we reach the age of 29-30 years, which is when Saturn reminds us that we must question who we are...

How to take advantage of crises?

To take advantage of a crisis we must first understand what a crisis is. A crisis is an opportunity to remember. Life will bring us "traumatic" situations that are designed to make us remember who we are. Just as a seed shell must be broken so that the seed can grow, every crisis is an opening beyond our false identity or ego. Every crisis is an opportunity to grow beyond our limits (or comfort zone). Behind any crisis is your essence (soul) encouraging you to go one step further in your evolution. Everything that happens to us (especially what our ego labels as "negative") has the mission to make us wake up to our true identity (which is Love).

After understanding (and accepting) that the crisis is actually a good thing (even if our beloved "ego" doesn't like it), we must listen to our heart. We must take time to be in silence with ourselves, and learn to listen to ourselves. In our heart is our essence whispering to us the next step. Our soul does not always speak with words, but with feelings. Try to feel what your heart is asking you, what you need to learn, let go of and/or incorporate in your life.

Imagine you have magic glasses that can see where the opportunity is. Put them on and tell me what you see, what qualities or virtues is Life encouraging you to develop or strengthen? Maybe you need to develop patience? or tolerance? or be assertive? Look inside and listen to your intuition. And then act. Do what you feel is right.

Step by step we are making our way. Don't look for results, that is, don't get attached to the result. It's about taking a small step first, and having faith. Trust that, if you keep making small steps, sooner or later, you will see the external results. Persist and have faith. And in this process, you may need to feel accompanied by a professional. Don't rule out the possibility of leaning on someone who may have gone through the same experience as you and who can guide you to know yourself a little better.

As a coach I help you to remember who you are. I am you without expectations or fear. I am the same essence and the only difference is that maybe I woke up a little bit earlier than you from the dream of the ego. Externally we look different, but inside we have the same intelligence, the same love and the same power. As a coach I don't fix your ego, I help you go beyond it and awaken to your true identity. Once you remember who you are, your problems are over, because all problems belong to the ego and not to who you really are.