Is singleness linked to low mood?

There are many myths about the emotional implications of being a single person.

It is no secret that institutions such as marriage and family have historically been of great importance. Beyond being part of mere traditions in the folkloric sense of the word, their existence has been part of the core of social, political and economic organization of many human societies.

Therefore, concepts such as "getting married" or "being single" influence our way of understanding life and what our plans for the future should be; we cannot remain aloof from them even if we pretend to. Thus, in addition to the social implications, there are the psychological implications of perceiving oneself (and others) as single or not single.

And, indeed, there are many myths and preconceptions, there are many myths and preconceived ideas about the fact of not having a steady partner.precisely because we attach so much importance to this phenomenon.

Here we will delve into the issue of the extent to which singleness goes hand in hand with a low moodand the way in which what happens around us influences our perception of single people.

Singleness and emotional balance

As I have advanced, it is very common to perceive the idea of singleness through a set of preconceived ideas and stereotypes that distort and "contaminate" the reality behind them. In the first place, gender roles are an element that for decades have been skewing our vision of what it means to be a single man or a single woman..

In the first case, a legitimate option as long as it is accompanied by a life project based on effort and which makes this way of life inevitable; in the second case, an aspect that makes a woman desirable in her younger years, or a stigma linked to failure if the single woman passes a certain age.

In any case, it has long been assumed that the "default" option for most men and for all women is to date first and then to be unmarried. is first courtship and then marriage.This has favored the emergence of a negative view of singleness.

These cultural inertias lead many people to think, even today, that only those who cannot be anything else are single. The absence of a partner would be the result of an inability to please or to lead a lifestyle sufficiently disciplined and virtuous to live with someone and keep him or her by one's side in the medium and long term.

Hence, it is not uncommon nowadays to think that if someone remains in a state of bachelorhood for many years or past his youth, "something is wrong" in his life. That it is a sad person, or a person with a low mood caused by his or her apparently failed life project..

But, beyond these topics and social stigmas... To what extent is it true that singleness is linked to a low mood and a poor emotional balance in general?

Singleness does not mean loneliness

The first big myth to debunk is the belief that those who remain single are in a state of loneliness. remains in a state of unwanted or undesired loneliness.. Today we know that single people are perfectly capable of being happy even if they do not aspire to marry or have a long-term partner.

The human mind is very flexible in every way, and this also happens through our ability to be content with our lives through different ways of living life. There is no innate or genetic limitation that prevents us from being well with ourselves if we do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife.

Foci of discomfort linked to singleness and life as a couple.

Now, it is true that if we broaden the focus and adopt a probabilistic point of view, singleness is more associated with certain factors of emotional imbalance than the way of life in courtship or marriage... and vice versa.

That is to say, that among single people there are certain psychological problems which are relatively more frequent or are more likely to cause harm under certain circumstances, while not being single is closer to other sources of discomfort or unhappiness. These are statistical trends only, so it does not imply that being single or in a relationship implies suffering from one of these problems.

It has now been observed that there are small links between singleness and the following experiences (again, associations in a relative way):

• Self-esteem problems linked to physical and social skills.
• Disorganization and poor time management
• Feelings of loneliness
• Sleep problems

On the other hand, life as a couple is prone to other kinds of psychological discomfort, especially stress and, in some cases, self-esteemstress problems and, in some cases, self-esteem problems caused by one's economic and social status.

Moreover, while the level of happiness reported by those in a satisfying relationship is somewhat higher, on average, than that of single people, the level of happiness of single people is higher than that of those in a relationship that is not entirely satisfying. It should not be forgotten that getting involved in a romantic relationship has significant costs: less time for oneself, the need to constantly coordinate activities, adjusting to the needs of the other person while living together, etc.

However, it should be noted that these differences, even from a general and statistical point of view, are not very large, and it is possible that with the passage of time they may become more significant.It is possible that with the passage of time and social and technological transformations they will change.

The way of experiencing singleness is linked to the social context

Another example of the extent to which there is no psychological state associated with "the essence" of what it means to be single, the fact that in a matter of a few weeks, the experience of having or not having a partner can change completely depending on what is going on around us, can be found in the coronavirus crisis.

We know that the pandemic has led to the emergence of cases of depression and anxiety, and that it has particularly affected people who have been forced to remain isolated at home alone. This type of social isolation not only has a greater capacity to wear down single people psychologically, but also, in the absence of direct support in the event of an outbreak of the disease, it can also lead to a loss of confidence, in the absence of direct support in the case of living alone, it can predispose them to the appearanceThis type of social isolation not only has a greater capacity to wear single people down psychologically, but also, in the absence of direct support when living alone, can predispose to the appearance of disturbed sleep patterns, substance abuse, etc.

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