The power of dialogue with our parts with Inner Family Systems

This is how the Internal Family Systems model works in therapy.

Have you ever wondered how it can be that, being apparently rational beings and skilled in the use of structured thinking, we human beings are so contradictory?

For example, the sight of a doctor going outside to smoke in his spare time after seeing several patients is not uncommon, but if we stop to think about it, it is surprising. The same happens with people who are committed enough to go and join a gym and pay all the monthly fees, and at the same time, they hardly go to exercise.

In psychology there are several explanatory models that address this tendency towards inconsistent behavior or behavior guided by contradictory motivations, and one of them is the Internal Family Systems model. Let's see how it is.

What are Inner Family Systems?

The Inner Family Systems model is a psychological an approach to psychological analysis and intervention developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. in the 1980s.

It is a therapeutic proposal of an integrative nature, which combines approaches and strategies from different models of psychological intervention, but as its name indicates, it is particularly influenced by the General Systems Theory, and more specifically, by its embodiment in systemic family therapy. If anything characterizes it, it is the adoption of ideas and interpretative frameworks of systemic family therapy, but applied not to families, but to individuals.

The aim of this is to understand the psychological elements that, relatively independently of each other, are behind the behavior and the way of thinking and feeling of the person and mobilize him/her through very different, or even apparently contradictory, logics.

Thus the model of the Internal Family Systems understands that in the functioning of the psyche of each person there are several independent parts involvedThese can be equated to members of a family, with their own motivations, interests and personalities. These parts can be classified into three types.

On the one hand there are the exileswhich are the parts that remain in us as a result of a more or less intense psychological trauma and that, because they harbor emotionally destabilizing elements, tend to act on the margins of the rest of the family.

On the other hand we have the firemenwhose presence stands out when the exiles adopt an active role and destabilize us emotionally; in such situations, they adopt a short-term logic and trigger impulsive reactions to "cover up" this discomfort, through actions such as pulling out their hair, biting their nails, eating without hunger, smoking...

Finally, we have the managerswho also try to maintain stability and the status quo, but not in specific and emergency situations, but constantly through prevention strategies. They are behind the avoidance habits of anguish, stress, sadness, shame....

The model of the Inner Family Systems proposes not to totally repress or eliminate any of the parts in particular, but to work so that the dynamics of interaction between all of them leads the person to a state of relative emotional balance and capacity to manage emotionally painful experiences. In other words, it invites to adopt a holistic point of view of all the parts, without looking for "local" solutions but systemic ones.

Examples of areas of application of the Internal Family Systems model.

To better understand how to work from the Internal Family Systems model, let's look at several examples of its application in psychotherapy, although these do not fully show all the problems that can be addressed through it.

1. In cases of complicated grief

The emotional reaction to the death of a loved one can lead some people to develop what is known as complicated grief, a psychological disturbance in which feelings of discomfort overwhelm the person, who suffers much more than usual after this kind of loss and is unable to cope with it.The person suffers much more than usual after this kind of loss and is unable to function normally for many weeks or months.

In situations of this type, the Internal Family Systems allow these patients to adapt to a reality in which that person is no longer at their sideIn these situations, the Inner Family Systems allow these patients to adjust their expectations, habits and emotional management to this absence, which is at least material, although the memories of the loved one are still there.

What is involved is that the parts of the person's mind return to a balance in which it is neither necessary to adopt extreme measures of hermeticism denying the death of that person, nor to enter into a dynamic of constantly feeding the Pain by delving again and again into how tragic that death is.

Thus, from the balance between the parts, the acceptance of this loss and the integration of this loss in one's own life history is achieved, making these memories (and by extension, the trace that this person has left in the patient) become part of his or her identity and the narrative of his or her existence..

2. In cases of trauma

Trauma arises when there are memories that have not been stored in a functional way in the person's memory system, among other things because they are associated with a strong negative emotional charge, which produces intense discomfort. This is why traumas often arise after going through experiences of extreme physical or psychological violence..

Through the Inner Family Systems, people are helped to approach these memories without letting one of their parts be much more involved than the others, so that they can be re-coded in a more neutral and balanced way, without denying any of their facets, but without letting a few of them trap the others. without letting a few of them totally catch the attentional focus of the person and start tormenting him/her from that position..

3. In cases of anger management

Impulse control issues are one type of potential emotional problem that can be effectively addressed by the Inner Family Systems.

For example, there are many people who find it difficult to modulate their anger and prevent it from being projected outwardly through a hostile attitude or directly attacking others.

And this is often due to the fact that the way in which the situations that generate anger are interpreted is very biased towards pessimism about the intentions of others. about the intentions of others: the managerial or exile-type parts can trigger attack responses that are actually a form of defense about what might happen if we do not "assert ourselves".

Thus, through the Inner Family Systems, people are helped to take a step back when interpreting social interactions and not to see everything through the lens of someone who is always looking for signs of a confrontation or a threat, coming to internalize an interpretive framework richer in nuances thanks to the harmonious and balanced participation of all parties.

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