What are relationships based on emotional dependency like?

These are the main characteristics of relationships in which there is emotional dependence.

People who experience this affective alteration usually have difficulties in detecting where their affective needs begin and end.

By not visualizing the limits that are established between both members of the couple, the person is trapped in a kind of emotional limbo in which he/she can end up trapped by the other person's emotional needs. in which he can end up trapped for a long period of time.

The characteristics of emotional dependency in the couple

Generally, the emotional dependent tends to be attracted to dominant people or people with narcissistic traits and, in addition, this attraction is usually mutual with this type of profiles.

By not having learned correctly about what it means to have a healthy relationship with a partner, these subjects may be involved in dysfunctional and unequal relationships in which there is a role-playing game in the relationship. may be involved in dysfunctional and unequal relationships in which there is role-playing.. Usually, one of the partners is dominant, and the other will submit by taking a submissive position.

There are some cases in which these roles alternate between both subjects, but they are hardly perceived as equal, contrary to what happens in secure attachment relationships.

Warning signs

The beginning of the relationship is usually marked by an accentuated and somewhat disproportionate intensity.. Fireworks are the soundtrack of this encounter.

However, the person who develops this affective mismatch associated with a relationship begins to enter an enchanted forest where, gradually, he or she will begin to blur.

The dependent person is often trapped in a relationship a relationship that, as time goes by, no longer adds value to his or her life.. However, the aftertaste left by the fireworks of the beginning of the relationship provokes a deep desire to experience them again.

Although the feeling of discomfort may be prolonged over time, and the dependent is not able to leave the relationship, he remains in the hope of regaining the intensity experienced previously.

Not finding it in a positive way, he/she will tend to look for it, even if it is in a negative way, such as through arguments, for example.For example, through heated and disproportionate arguments.

A dysfunctional relationship that keeps people trapped

The narcissist and the dependent share a lack of affection that they make up for with each other.. Just as the dependent believes he needs another person to stop feeling the permanent emptiness with which he is accustomed to live, the narcissist also needs the other to exist, since they are usually completely empty people who feed off the vital energy of those around them.

The dependent person fills his narcissist with unconditional love as long as the latter does not abandon him and, in this way, avoids reconnecting with the emotional emptiness inherent in him/her.

The narcissistic person may abuse the dependent by playing power games and, on some occasions, may take a position of submission if he/she sees that he/she can extract some benefit in this way. Emotionally dependent relationships are dangerous, since both partners may be in a submissive position. risk losing their identity as individuals and, in addition, they may become attached to their partner and, in addition, they may become attached to their partner whom they tend to see as an affective subministrator.

Cases of gender-based violence largely reflect the dependency of those who are caught in the clutches of their abuser, who is possibly someone with a narcissistic character and with celotypical traits.

In the most severe cases, both partners are completely annulled by their partner and may find it very difficult to break this vicious circle.

Emotional dependence is comparable to the addiction produced by certain chemical substances in drug addicts.These people also share similar behavioral patterns, since the same neurological processes are activated as those suffering from addiction to a narcotic drug. It is common that when the person manages to leave the relationship, he/she goes through a period of readjustment in which symptoms derived from the abstinence caused by the deprivation of the affective provider may appear.

The neuropsychological bases of the problem

Generally, in the processes of falling in love, the brain secretes a series of hormones that are the cause of a healthy and necessary attachment to the partner. However, when there is an imbalance in this process, a hormonal cocktail is produced that can lead to an addiction similar to that which an alcoholic may feel when drinking.

The dependent is usually a highly demanding person towards his or her partner.The dependent person tends to be a highly demanding person towards his or her partner, since no matter how much attention the other person gives him or her, he or she never has enough and needs more and more affectionate demonstrations.

What can be done?

Each of us deserves to enjoy a healthy relationship that offers genuine well-being and brings us emotional security. Ending this vicious circle is a complicated process, but not impossible.

Normally, these situations occur in people who are marked by deep emotional wounds, and that is why, the key to begin to overcome this emotional imbalance is to detect the wound and then begin to heal it..

One of the most frequent wounds that hide behind these behaviors is the emotional wound of abandonment. The person may have experienced a real abandonment in their childhood and it is even probable that they have not experienced a real abandonment, however, the infant may have felt helpless or have the feeling of abandonment by one of their parents.

This wound is activated when the person comes into contact with his or her emotional world, allowing the Pain that emanates from it to surface and subsequently creating these behavioral patterns.

Before embarking on a new relationship, it is essential to to fill ourselves with self-love We cannot give away what we have not previously cultivated.

Learning to be alone and to enjoy our own company can be a revealing experience if we open ourselves to it without resistance. Remember that inside you there is still the child you once were, wishing to be showered with love and only you are responsible for receiving it properly.