32 things you do to yourself and should eliminate from your life
When it comes to achieving happiness and well-being, the most important thing is not to hinder yourself.
Everyone wants to be happy and live a full life; however, many times we carry out behaviors that do not favor us or we think in a way that does not help us at all in this regard.
While there are a number of events outside of ourselves that we cannot control and that influence how we feel, we can control the way we relate to others. we can control the way we relate to them..
- Related article, "Why don't I let myself be happy?"
Things we do to ourselves and should avoid.
And it is that many times we are ourselves our worst enemies. That is why, in this article, I have prepared a list of things we do to ourselves and that can negatively affect our well-being.
So, if you want to be happy, you must stop:
1. Obsessing about happiness
We all want to be happy; however, when we obsess about happiness, we achieve quite the opposite. Happiness is found in oneself, not in others, and has a lot to do with valuing what we have, following our path and desires, and having rational expectations.
2. Being emotionally dependent
Emotional dependence is a consequence of having low self-esteem. By depending on other people and giving them your happiness, we feel addicted to their presence. It is a phenomenon that often occurs in some relationships. If you want to avoid it, you can read this article: "12 tips to overcome emotional dependence".
3. Thinking that you always have the absolute truth
We all have our own way of thinking and we have all lived different experiences. Believing that everything we think is the only truth is a mistake. This mentality does not allow us to grow and, moreover, does not allow us to respect other people's opinions. respect other people's opinions.. Even if you disagree, others may also have valid opinions.
4. Let the past run your life
The past is there and we cannot change it, but we can change the way we relate to that time in our life. We all make mistakes and, therefore, to be happy it is necessary to accept them and learn from them. There is no point in dwelling on something that has already happened.
5. Being so hard on yourself
When we live in the past, it is easy to be hard on ourselves. Therefore, it is necessary to accept (not forget) and stop blaming ourselves for the things we did not like in our life. Acceptance is key to grow as a person and to enjoy greater emotional well-being.
6. Not being proactive
To enjoy a greater emotional well-being it is necessary to be in movement; that is to say, to be proactive. fight for our goals and not stand still not stand still and wait for things to happen by themselves..
7. Fear of uncertainty
One of the most frequent fears is the fear of uncertainty. It is the fear of not knowing what will happen if we take a risk, so we prefer to stay still, even if we are not going through a good moment..
8. Complaining
Complaining is not going to change your lifeSo there is no point in complaining. It is better to analyze why things went wrong and try to change. In case you cannot change, it is necessary to accept it.
9. Thinking negatively
Thinking in negative immobilizes us, therefore, we must be optimistic and look towards the future with a positive mentality.
10. Controlling everything
Fear of uncertainty often makes us want to have everything under control, want to have everything under controlWe often want to have everything under control, so that we do not have to expose ourselves to the anxiety that uncertainty creates.
11. Staying in the comfort zone
And this fear of uncertainty forces us to stay in the comfort zone, that is, in that place where we feel comfortable, and that, although it does not benefit us, invites us to stay there indefinitely.
12. Paying attention to your limiting beliefs
Sometimes we think that what we believe is right; but, in reality, it prevents us from growing. These thoughts are called limiting beliefs and we should avoid them. Sometimes we have a belief about something that makes us pessimistic about our possibilities, and when we test ourselves, we become pessimistic.When we put ourselves to the test, we realize that it was not so bad. It is necessary to avoid this type of beliefs to be happy.
13. Thinking about what others think of you
Thinking about what others think of you prevents you from being happy and, moreover, makes you waste a lot of energy, makes you waste a lot of energy. To be happy it is necessary to look inward and not outward.
14. Blaming others
Blaming others can be an excuse for not recognizing that sometimes we can be wrong, we can be wrong.. We must keep our feet on the ground and be realistic.
15. Looking problems in the face
And blaming others is a way to avoid facing problems. Therefore, if we want to solve things, it is always better to face the problems and be aware that it is possible to change.
16. Self-blame
Not blaming others does not mean that we should blame ourselves, but that we should analyze problems or difficult situations as they are, without looking the other way, and learn from them to improve our situation. We should not blame ourselves, but accept that things happen, whether they are good or bad.
17. Getting involved in toxic relationships
Toxic relationships can do a lot of damage, but it is not always easy to recognize that we are in a. If we tend to go from relationship to relationship and always have the same problem, maybe this is not the other person's problem, but ours.
18. Being afraid of relationships because the previous ones didn't work out
Nor can we go from one extreme to the otherThat is, not having relationships with others because the previous ones have not worked. Each relationship is a world, so if we want to be with someone, it is necessary to work on it.
19. Competing with others
Competing with others can make us tremendously unhappy, because everyone has their own virtues and their own defects.. It is important that we value ourselves as we are and do not try to be better than others, but follow our own path.
20. Being jealous
Being jealous not only hurts the victim of jealousy, but also the person who is jealous. We must avoid being jealous, and if the problem lies in one's self-esteem, it is necessary to take measures in this respect.
21. To be envious
Envy should be avoided. Although in greater or smaller measure all we can wish something that has another person, the envy cannot be a constant in our life, because it negatively affects our self-esteem and is not positive for our interpersonal relationships.
22. To be resentful
Resentment is not good for ourselves either, because it it causes us to have a great rage inside us and causes us great suffering and causes great suffering to ourselves.
23. Being vindictive
Resentment and revenge may seem to be the same thing; however, resentment is a thought and revenge is the action that results from that thought of wishing ill on someone who has wronged us. Revenge is usually a bad choice.
24. Being afraid to change
Fear of change is paralyzing and is not adaptive at all. To be happy it is necessary to eliminate it from our lives.
25. Always doing the same things
Always doing the same thing can be a symptom of wanting to stay in the comfort zone, therefore it is good to try new things that stimulate us and make us learn new ways of looking at life.
26. Value yourself negatively
Valuing yourself negatively has a negative consequence on your emotional balance and psychological well-being. For that reason, it is necessary to accept yourself, just as you are.
27. Being a perfectionist
Perfectionism may seem like a positive behavior and way of thinking, but thinking that everything must always be perfect is an unrealistic belief that causes much suffering.
28. Procrastinating
Procrastinating is not a good option, because... why leave for tomorrow what we can do today? Getting used to procrastinate can have negative consequences, such as causing an excess of tasks that can cause stress.
29. Judging others
Judging others is not beneficial for us or for them, especially if we live with prejudices of race, sex, etc.
30. Living far from the present
One of the keys to well-being is to live in the present moment and not in irrational expectations.. To learn to be in the here and now, it is possible to practice Mindfulness.
31. Not respecting the opinions of others
Another mistake to avoid is to be intolerant and not respect the opinions of others. Lack of tolerance generates unnecessary conflicts.
32. Not loving yourself
If tolerance generates conflicts between people, not loving oneself creates internal conflicts that make us feel really bad.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)