4 ways of thinking that lead to falling into toxic relationships.

Irrational beliefs and prejudices that lead us to always stumble over the same stone.

Many times, we get used to living affective relationships as if they were something given to us by life, as a kind of gift that we just accept and experience without thinking too much about what we are doing. This idea can be very poetic, but in the long run, it exposes us to risks. In particular, it causes us not to question certain ideas about what it means to love and be loved..

If we believe that opportunities to start a relationship arise spontaneously at our pace, we lose sight of all those habits and customs that bring us closer to living love in a certain way, and not in another. And, when all those decisions and behavioral tendencies that we don't even realize we're making bring us closer to having only toxic and unsatisfactory relationships.the situation becomes much more serious.

And is that the worst thing about going through a bad romance is not always that experience itself, but the fact of not having learned any lessons from it.

Ways of thinking that lead to falling into toxic relationships again and again.

As much as in love some things are obvious to us, we would save ourselves several problems if we realized that many of the beliefs we have about relationships are simply prejudices and irrational beliefs.

Some of these unfounded ideas are relatively harmless, but others lead us to stumble over and over again with the same stone, without us even being aware that we have a predisposition to fall into those kinds of mistakes in our love life.

Below you will find some of those ways of thinking that predispose us to get involved in toxic relationships, and what makes them so damaging.and what makes them so damaging.

1. The belief in the better half

Romantic love, understood as a relationship in which two people unite in an inseparable way to form a single body, is one of the most harmful beliefs that exist. The reasons are that it favors the interdependence and the obsession for the control of the other person, on the one hand, and theon the one hand, and the lack of time to be alone with oneself on the other.

In the long run, the level of discomfort and stress caused by this type of dating and marriage makes the situation unsustainable.

2. Commitment is scary

Relationships can be exciting, but some people are very afraid of one of their facets: commitment. Thus, when dating, they try to live a "normal life", not to leave their comfort zone and continue to behave unilaterally, albeit in a relationship. This, in practice, means that there are no commitments, or very few.and that everyone leads a single life at all times except at certain times.

Thus, from this habit the couple is something that appears and disappears at convenience. It may seem like a free choice of affectivity, but in reality it is a direct route to fears, insecurities and paranoia. A relationship, by the fact of being one, must be built on certain commitments; however, it is its members who decide what goes into the pact and what stays out.

3. One party decides, the other does

The fact that some couple relationships are made up of very different people means that, sometimes, one party maintains a passive attitude and the other takes a more active role. Over time, this can turn into a dynamic where one always decides about those small day-to-day choices.

Although at first it may seem like a harmless tendency, this habit tends to lead to weariness on the part of the decision-maker, since he or she is the one who most perceives that the decisionThe decision-maker is the one who most perceives that the relationship is not symmetrical. In fact, the situation can be interpreted as a symptom of a lack of commitment and interest in spending time together.

4. When in doubt, apologize

There are those who enter the world of love with leaden feet, with great fear of making the loved one uncomfortable.. That makes that, in ambiguous situations in which one senses the dissatisfaction or the anger of this one, one accepts without further ado that oneself is to blame, which leads to ask for forgiveness. But this is a mistake.

Ensuring symmetry is something necessary to avoid living in a toxic relationship, and for this you have to know how to create a constant flow of communication, so that both parties know what is happening, therefore, before asking for forgiveness, you have to make sure that there really are reasons for it, and that they understand each other.