6 common sources of stress-related couple problems

These are different stress-generating situations that damage the couple's health.

Excess stress is always a trigger of problems at the psychological level, but the consequences of these vary depending on the characteristics of each person and the context in which they live.

One of the areas in which these alterations are most clearly seen is that of cohabitation as a couple; the accumulation of stress can act as a real time bomb that blows up the basic consensuses and even, if given time, the love bond itself.

In this article we will look at a summary of the usual sources of couple problems derived from excessive stressas well as some possible solutions to know what to do.

How does the accumulation of stress affect the couple's relationship?

Although each case is unique, in general terms it is possible to find a series of problems in the couple's coexistence, and even in the affective relationship itself, that have a good part of their causes in the excess of stress or the bad management of this one.

These are forms of discomfort that arise on a daily basis and wear down the courtship or marriage until, often until, many times, it reaches a point where it is necessary to end the relationship or go to couple's therapy.

These are the main sources of couple problems due to stress.

1. Excessive workload

Workload is clearly one of the most common causes of excessive stress.

Unfortunately, it is an area that remains outside the scope of what can be totally solved as a couple, but there are better and worse ways to deal with this problem together..

2. Insecurities and fear of losing a partner

This is one of the most frequent causes of problems in couples, especially among young people. The fact of feeling that you have to give the best of yourself is a stress bomb..

3. Fears related to sexuality

The area of intimate and sexual life continues to be subject to fears and taboo subjects that not everyone is willing to talk about, even with their partner. This generates misgivings, fears, and the feeling that the other person keeps as many secrets as oneself..

4. Poor communication

Communication problems can lead to stress relatively frequently, because they give rise to misunderstandings that must be solved at inopportune moments. They are experienced as an "added" and totally unnecessary burden.

5. Distribution of household chores

The feeling that the distribution of household chores is unfair contributes to the accumulation of stress, due among other things to the fact that these efforts are perceived as something arbitrary. perceived as arbitrary, which should not exist with a better allocation of responsibilities.which should not have to exist with a better allocation of responsibilities.

6. Family disagreements

Conflicts with the family are also an important source of stress are also an important source of stress that "leak" into the couple's sphere.. Tense Christmas dinners, long-standing problems, family members with whom contact is avoided, etc.

What to do?

Here are some basic tips for dealing with this kind of problem in the best possible way.

1. Detect the source of the stress

It is clear that it is impossible to identify each and every one of the things that cause us stress on a daily basis, but it is possible to recognize those that affect us the most.

So, take some time to talk specifically about the source of that stress, take some time to talk specifically about what is the origin of that psychological pressureto establish something similar to a diagnosis of the situation you are going through.

Do it from an attitude of harmony in which it is clear that you are not judging the other, otherwise it will be impossible to deal with the subject honestly.

It is necessary that you express how the stress itself affects you, and the way in which the other person behaves, for better or worse, but without recriminations.

2. Establish new commitments

It is important that you set specific and as objective goals as possible to improve the situation in which you find yourselves.

The better defined a goal is, the more difficult it will be to disengage from the commitment to achieve it.. You must delimit both the concrete measures to be adopted and the time in which they should be applied to your coexistence. If possible, choose a group of one, two or three new habits and add them to your schedule in a literal way, indicating the moments you will dedicate to them.

3. Talk regularly about your impressions and progress.

Regularly talking about how you are living this challenge of better stress management helps you to stay involved in this process, and also allows you to correct mistakes in time.

4. If the problems do not stop, go to couple's therapy.

Couples therapy is a context in which it is possible to intervene in love problems. and cohabitation with professional support, something that totally changes the situation by having an external and objective figure, as well as trained in emotional management techniques and good communication habits and expression of feelings.

Are you looking for help to know how to manage relationship problems?

If you think you are in a relationship that is going through a crisis due to stress or any other aspect that hinders the relationship, you can contact our team of psychotherapists.

In Avance Psychologists we have a team with two decades of experience offering professional support to couples and people with emotional, communicative or relational problems in general. Currently we attend both in person at our center in Madrid, as well as through online therapy by video call. You can see more information about our services on this page.

Referencias bibliográficas:

• Biscotti, O. (2006). Terapia de Pareja: una mirada sistémica. Buenos Aires: Lumen.
• Harvey, J. H., Ormarzu, J. (1997). Minding the close relationship. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 1: pp. 223 - 239.
• Morgan, J.P. (1991). What is codependency? Journal of Clinical Psychology, 47(5): pp. 720 - 729.
• Serrano, G. y Carreño, M. (1993). La teoría de Sternberg sobre el amor. Análisis empírico. Psicothema, 5(Supl.): pp. 151-167.
• Sternberg, R.J. (1987). Liking vs. loving: a comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102(3): pp. 331-345.