6 myths about couples therapy

Some erroneous beliefs about couples therapy and its goals.

Couples therapy is a field of work that lends itself to many erroneous beliefs, for several reasons. On the one hand, series, movies and audiovisual media in general have caricatured this discipline to the point of making it unrecognizable. On the other hand, it often creates confusion for couples to turn to experts who in theory specialize in mental health.

This is why in this article we will review some of the myths about couples therapy. the most important myths about couple's therapyWe will explain why certain ideas about couples therapy are inaccurate or outright lies.

The 6 most important myths about couples therapy.

These are the most widespread misbeliefs about couples therapy.

1. The psychologist resolves disputes

The task of psychologists who offer couples therapy is not to resolve arguments or disputes in general, but to help resolve the behavioral dynamics that make people tend to argue frequently (if this is one of the reasons for going to therapy).

2. Only emotionally unstable people go to couples therapy.

This is a a simplification that does not correspond at all with reality.. While it is true that people who have a marked neuroticism are more likely to have problems in their emotional relationships (statistically), this does not mean that there are not many other reasons for which there may be reasons to go to couples therapy.

3. The psychologist modifies the personality of the person who does not adapt to the couple.

Personality is a set of very stable psychological traits that define a person's way of being.

While it changes a little over the course of a lifetime and in some cases can even change quite a bit, this is not the goal of couples therapy, which focuses on much more concrete and easily defined goals so that agreements and compromises can be reached. focus on much more concrete and easily defined goals that can lead to agreements and compromises that are easy to monitor (to see if the goals are being met or not). easy to monitor (to see if the objectives are met or not).

4. In therapy there is a catharsis that resolves the conflict.

The objective of couples therapy is not to generate situations in which clients reach a point where they express their repressed emotions and thoughts with the maximum degree of intensity and honesty so that the problem the couple is going through is resolved in a matter of minutes, once both people have taken a weight off their shoulders.

Although honesty is an indispensable element for couples therapy to work well, simply expressing feelings does not necessarily solve anything.. In order to improve the health of the relationship, it is necessary to go through other steps, among which we find to find values and projects in common again, and to build a new commitment that vertebrates the relationship from then on.

5. Couples therapy consists of arguing

Another of the myths most often heard about couples therapy is that it is a space centered on the act of arguing, fighting with the other to see who is right. It is true that in these sessions it is not uncommon for heated arguments to occur, but the simple fact of confronting the other person does not solve anything.Although psychologists who are experts in couples therapy maintain a neutral role as professionals, they are not there to act as referees in a boxing match.

Discussions are a consequence of dealing with personal and sometimes sensitive issues during these sessions, and in any case the logic of taking away the reason of the other to win a symbolic battle not only does not help, but it is an obstacle to the progress of the therapy..

6. The breakup means the failure of couple therapy

To think that the objective of couples therapy is to avoid a breakup at all costs is to not fully understand the nature of emotional relationships, because the truth is that sometimes the best solution is to end the engagement or marriage; in fact, there are those who come to therapy already knowing that they want to break up, and only to please their partner.and only to please the other person.

The goal of couples therapy is to continue the relationship in the best possible way, either to make it last or to end it on the best possible terms.

However, as in everything, there are always certain risks that things may not go well, and it is possible that couples therapy may fail regardless of whether or not there is a breakup. For example, if the professional does not know how to create a climate of trust in which a married couple feels they can express themselves without fear of disapproval.

Are you looking for couples therapy services?

If you live in the Madrid area and you are interested in couples therapy, we invite you to contact our team of psychologists at UPAD Psicología y Coaching, located in Argüelles. Here you will find professionals with experience in intervening in cases of marital or dating crisis. como por ejemplo las discusiones constantes, los celos, el aburrimiento en el tiempo pasado en compañía del otro, la falta de confianza debido a la infidelidad, etc.

Referencias bibliográficas:

• Bermúdez, C., Brik, E. (2010). Terapia Familiar Sistémica. Madrid, España: Síntesis.
• Bustamante, J. (2016). Sexualidad y Terapia de Pareja: la Pareja desde un Enfoque Global. Madrid, España: UNED.
• Christensen A., Atkins D.C., Baucom B., Yi J. (2010). Marital status and satisfaction five years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78 (2): pp. 225 - 235.
• Christensen, A., Atkins, D.C., Yi, J., Baucom, D.H. y George, W.H. (2006). Couple and individual adjustment for 2 years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 74(6): pp. 1180 - 1191.