8 tips to get over a breakup

Several tips to get over a breakup; ways to leave the emotional Pain behind.

Losing someone through a breakup, because they leave you while you are still in love, is one of the most painful situations that exist. that exist.

The emotional pain experienced is experienced as the pain of death, if the relationship has been very long or intense. In fact many professionals talk about the same stages of grief.

The discomfort is so extreme that we have the sensation that we cannot continue living, it is very difficult to continue with the day to day as before; there are moments where you can have a lot of anxiety and people can fall into a major depression.

How to get over a breakup and turn the page?

The pain is inevitable. Nobody will be able to take away this pain. On the other hand you if that you will be able to cope better and, above all, make it last less time, following these guidelinesby following these guidelines. They are not easy, I know, but the effort is an investment to recover from this pain as soon as possible.

1. Accept the situation and eliminate hope

If he has left you, if he no longer feels the same for you, the first step is to accept it. It is very painful, but sometimes it happens that feelings change and there is nothing we can do about it. He is not coming back. This is unbearable to think about at first, but only by eliminating hope will you place your ex in the past and you can gradually look to the future, a future without him.a future without him.

2. Respect his decision

If you love him, if you still love him, respect his decision. He does not want to be with you as a partner. This does not mean that you are not important or that you have not been important, it simply means that things have changed. things have changed, they have not disappeared. If you love someone very much, sometimes you have to let them go, no matter how painful it may be.

3. Don't contact or follow them on social networks.

And by contact I mean do not call, write, ask for him/her.... Do not see him in his photos or follow him on social networks. If necessary, delete him. If you find him aggressive Explain to him that you need to not see him for your time to get over it..

It is very difficult but behaviors like seeing his photos, seeing if he is online, if he has more or less followers in social networks, will only hurt you more.

Also, when we fall in love the levels of oxytocin in our brain, the love hormone, increase. When we see or hear the loved one these oxytocin levels increase, so the bonds and affection will last longer. It is important to stop seeing him or her.

This is a very difficult point, but it is fundamental to be able to move forward.. The most important in order not to prolong the suffering. If you cannot do it all at once (the most advisable), do it little by little. And if it is not possible for you to stop seeing him because you have children or things in common, do everything possible to reduce it to a minimum or get intermediaries in the early stages of separation.

4. Express your emotions, but also talk about other things.

It is important to share your feelings with your circle of trust.. There will be days when you are very sad, other days you may be angry, other days you may not stop thinking about something, it is important to express it.

The first few days the topic may take up a lot of time, but little by little you have to try not to let it take up everything. It is important to express how you are at the beginning of a conversation and explain the situation or the emotional moment in which you are, but after a while try to change the subject to try to have a respite. change the subject to try to have a breakand disconnect.

5. Do not idealize him

Try not to idealize him. It is very common to idealize the ex-partner when they leave us: "I will never find someone like him" "no one will understand me like he did", etc. This is not real.

You feel all this because you are in love. But the world is full of amazing people. Now the world doesn't interest you, but try not to idealize your ex and remember also his negative things (which I'm sure he also had) to bring him down to earth a little and be as realistic as possible. These ideal thoughts are the result of falling in love.

6. Recover or restructure your routines

Try to recover activities that you like. Don't go by what you feel like, because you won't feel like anything right now, but even if you don't feel like it, it is important to make the effort to do things.

Use the past as a reference. Think about the things you liked before, the things you did or the things you always wanted to do. Recover them and include them in your life.

7. Plan for the worst days or times

There will be days or moments that will be more difficult for you. Especially those where you shared more time with the person.

You won't feel like it, but it is important to occupy these it is important that you occupy those spaces with other activities that do not make the absence so evident.. Thoughts and memories will come back, but by occupying the time in the worst moments you will feel a little relief and will provide you with a rest and respite that will come in handy at this time.

8. Stop asking yourself questions

When someone leaves us, we are often plagued by the questions "Why did he/she stop loving me like before? Is he/she with someone else? If I had behaved differently, would it be different now?" questions and more questions that only wear us down and produce even more suffering.

Avoid them, especially blaming questions and negative thoughts. "I should have spent more time with him, maybe I should have supported him more in...", these kinds of questions and negative thoughts do not have to correspond to reality and maybe nothing you would have done would have changed the outcome. Accept that you will not have answers to thousands of questions. Stop looking for answers as soon as possible.

The pain in these situations is very intense, you can even feel it physically: it can hurt your heart, your chest... it is normal to feel sad, allow yourself to feel this sadness, but do not let it paralyze you.

If you feel that you are stuck in any phase or any of these guidelines you find it difficult to carry them out and you feel that you are not moving forward, ask for help from a professional psychologist to accompany you through the pain you through the pain and help you to get better.

Author: Lorena González, Psychologist at Serena Psicología.