Are we naturally unfaithful?

To what extent are we made to stay in monogamous couples?

Until 200 years ago, couples generally married as a matter of kinship or to pass on their land or property. This monogamy was necessary to ensure that no individual would cheat and step out of the imposed family line, and so that property would remain intact.and for property to remain within the male lineage.

However, extramarital affairs and infidelities have always been part of human history, regardless of the culture and society of the time. Y today it seems that infidelity rates between couples have skyrocketed and we wonder: Is this happening? and we wonder: Is this happening because of a cultural issue or are we unfaithful by nature?

Infidelity rates in our culture

Today, relationships are established not only to share property, but also out of love and desire.

The hope for married couples is that this love will last until death, although the reality is that for more than half of them it withers long before death or even old age.The hope for married couples is that this love will last until death, although the reality is that for more than half of them it withers long before death or even old age. Some remarry and choose serial monogamy, creating a commitment to another spouse, although statistics tell us that second marriages last only a third of the time, and third marriages are even less successful.

Infidelity rates in our culture have not changed much. Although studies vary in their results, they show that nearly 60% of men and more than 45% of women will cheat on their partner at some point. In fact, issues related to infidelity and cheating in marriage affect nearly one in three couples..

Why do we cheat?

However, studies vary as to why infidelity occurs. Some data suggest that it is an effect of dopamine; this neurotransmitter is released when we cheat on our partner and hide the fact that we are having another relationship.This neurotransmitter is released when we cheat on our partner and hide the fact that we are having another relationship. Other studies suggest that it is a matter of opportunity: that is, when the opportunity presents itself, we do not hesitate. But there seem to be as many reasons to be unfaithful as there are people in this world.

The reality is that there are no studies that actually prove that human beings, as mammals, are monogamous by nature. It is enough to take a look at our history as primates to justify our behavior. Do we have the ability to mate with people outside of our primary relationship because we are just animals at heart? Probably. Do we have the ability to make such decisions because our brains have evolved since we lived in caves? It is also possible.

What does the research say?

In a study conducted at Oxford University it was observed that the rate of infidelity was related to the length of the index fingers relative to the length of the ring fingers of the respondents. of the people surveyed. It was found that 62% of men and 50% of women who had a ring finger longer than the index finger were more likely to commit infidelity.

This appears to be due to the fact that a longer length of this finger correlates with a higher level of exposure to the hormone testosterone during fetal development. However, caution should be exercised when interpreting these data and do not forget that correlation is not the same as causation (having a longer finger does not imply that one automatically has to be a Don Juan).

Studies have also been conducted with prairie voles, one of the only truly monogamous mammals. Their mating habits were compared to that of their more promiscuous cousins, the country voles; and the results suggest that the only difference between the two animals is that the former had a higher rate of vasopressin, and the more promiscuous female voles had more inhibitors of oxytocin receptors, a substance that is considered to be the mostoxytocin, a substance that is considered the love hormone and promotes pair bonding.

In fact, oxytocin inhibition creates resistance to this type of unions, and it is interesting to note that when women are stressed they generate lower rates of this hormone.

So, are we naturally unfaithful or not?

We live in a culture where almost 50% of couples get divorced.. Many of these marriages, perhaps as many as a third, end because of infidelity. Does this mean that, as a society, we are not committed to monogamy?

Some people assume that infidelity is a symptom of some fundamental problem in a marriage or committed relationship, ignoring the more important dilemma of whether monogamy is even possible for the average person. It also seems that we are not very good at choosing our lovers either, with only 10% of such relationships lasting even a month; and the rest lasting, at most, a year or two. Very few extramarital affairs last more than three or four years.

Perhaps in response to the steady divorce rate, we now have a new generation of married couples, today we have a new generation of open marriages.and what is defined as polyamory, where couples choose to define their own structural forms of new monogamy. Some couples are choosing what is traditionally referred to as an "open relationship," where sexual fidelity is not what maintains the monogamous relationship, but rather it is the emotional connection that defines the concept of monogamy.

In short, we may not have a clear answer today to the question of whether or not we are naturally unfaithful; however, new questions are being generated that affect the question of how we currently understand the concept of monogamy that may enrich our view of what a couple's relationship means to us and what we can do to be happier in our relationships in general.