Are you dating the right person? 6 keys to find out
If you have doubts that you are sharing time with someone, you should read this.
Love is one of the most rewarding experiences a human being can feel, and having a special person to share both good and bad times with can make us immensely happy. Voing day to day with that person we consider unique and wonderful, and waking up next to him or her helps us to feel fulfilled..
But not every day is going to be amazing, because relationships are a constant negotiation. There are difficult days and complicated periods when the stability of the couple is in danger and the relationship falters. In those moments one may think it is better to throw it all away, and rethink the meaning and the question of whether we are with the right person or not.
Continuing or leaving a relationship is a difficult decision to make, especially if we have been with that person for a long time, because a cocktail of emotions comes into play, which can be difficult to manage.
When being in a relationship makes you unhappy
In fact, some people get used to it, some people get used to their partner's unhappiness and subscribe to pain.. In spite of everything, they prefer to stay there suffering, for fear of uncertainty. Their low self-esteem is not prepared for the hard blow of having to break up with someone, ignoring that singleness can be a great time for personal growth. Being in those kinds of relationships that are like a roller coaster of feelings, they are hard to leave behind, and people can become forgetful of what it means to be happy.
Now, when you're with the right person, everything is rosy. Winter is less cold, you smile more, and even doing everyday things is fun. But how can we know if we are with the right person? Can we know if the person we are dating is our better half?
In the following lines we give you some keys to find out if you have made the right choice in your choice of partner.
1. Make sure your values are in line with each other
It is not necessary that the members of the couple share all the beliefs and that the relationship is a calm sea, without arguments between both actors, because that simply does not exist. Couples argue and may not have common ground on many issues.. But what is necessary is that the deepest values are aligned, for example, if both want to have children or not. This was demonstrated by a group of researchers at The Open University who surveyed 4,494 British subjects between the ages of 18 and 65.
2. Does it make you laugh?
Humor is a key ingredient in love.Because in addition to making a person more attractive and creating fun moments in the relationship, it is essential for relationships not to break up. That is what John Gottman, a New York psychologist who, in one of his studies, asked different couples to talk about the conflicts they had. Gottman concluded that one of the key elements for arguments not to break up the relationship was a sense of humor. In other words, if partners use humor when discussing and talking about their problems, there is a greater likelihood of resolving those conflicts and enjoying a healthier relationship.
3. Evaluate your level of satisfaction in the relationship
This may not be easy because it requires taking an in-depth look at the relationship. But are you satisfied with that person? This is a generic question, so it is necessary to break down the relationship into different aspects (communication, intimate moments, respect, economic stability, etc.). Once these points have been assessed, it is necessary to make an analysis of the situation. Now, if you really care about the person, the conclusions of this evaluation do not have to mean a breakup, because this can also help you to be able to talk to that person about what you consider to be your needs. If he/she cares about you, he/she may make an effort to fix the flaws.
4. Are you afraid of being alone?
Let's face it, some people are incapable of being single.. Being with someone for the simple fact of being afraid of loneliness, besides being a symptom of weakness and low self-esteem, is a serious mistake. If that happens to you, maybe it's time to do some self-reflection work and face your fears. Feeling too attached to another person is often a symptom of emotional dependency, and it is something we should avoid.
Self-reflection is key to personal development, so if you want to know more about this topic, you can read our article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection".
5. Do you feel respected?
Respect is key in any couple relationship or in any interpersonal relationship.. Many couples break up because at some point they stop admiring, valuing and respecting each other. Respect is important in complicated moments, because it allows conflicts to diminish. Only people with serious self-esteem problems would be with someone who does not respect them.
6. Is there physical contact in the relationship?
Physical contact is just as important as the previous points. According to a research carried out by Stony Brook University (United States), physical contact is one of the essential principles influencing the duration of a couple's relationship.. As the years go by, physical contact can be a problem for many couples, because at the beginning it is common to have a lot of it. Therefore, it is not missed. Over time, saying "I love you" is not enough, you have to show it.
(Updated at Apr 15 / 2024)