Are you too demanding of yourself? 7 keys to managing self-criticism

Self-criticism can be positive, but some people take it too far.

If you think that the biggest demands and the harshest evaluations come from yourself, this post can help you cope with self-criticism, this post can help you cope with self-criticism.. 

It often seems that our worst enemy is within ourselves. Instead of encouraging ourselves on the path to our goals and learning from our mistakes, we waste time demanding perfection and negatively criticizing ourselves. These habits are detrimental to our performance and our self-image.

What do we understand by self-criticism and why is it harmful?

The self-criticism is usually a type of pathological criticism, i.e. it is a negative evaluation that a person makes of himself/herself. or their actions and that does not help them to give the best of themselves. It is often referred to as pathological criticism because it is beyond the person's control and ends up damaging his or her performance and self-esteem.

Self-criticism usually takes the form of negative comments that focus on mistakes made or goals not achieved. And above all, it is criticism that is not constructive because it does not guide us on how to use our strengths to improve our weaknesses.

The negative voice that reminds us of what we are doing wrong.

In other words, self-criticism is that negative voice that reminds us of our failures or our lack of perfection.. It tells us what is wrong, compares us with others, with their achievements and capabilities, and sets impossible standards of perfection. Therefore, it is necessary to know how to deal with self-criticism in an objective and adaptive way.

Dealing with self-criticism is often a difficult task, as we are the ones who are giving ourselves these messages, and we have given great power to our thoughts. Since it is our voice that is giving us these criticisms, it is difficult to ignore it and move forward on the path to our goals.

So how can you deal with self-criticism?

Here are some of the keys to managing self-criticism some of the keys to manage self-criticism and make the most of itAre you ready?

1. Know yourself to tame your inner voice

The first step to deal with self-criticism properly is to to know it. You have to analyze what specific topics your criticisms are about and what thoughts are associated with them.. It is about identifying what messages you give yourself, in what situation, what you feel and what you think. You can keep a written record so that you can later analyze criticism of yourself in detail and at your leisure, when you have a moment.

2. Discover the emotions that bring out your critical voice.

Once you have identified what form your self-criticism takes, and what emotions and thoughts are associated with it, you need to unmask the purpose of your self-criticism. purpose of these criticisms. What are your emotions trying to show you? What fear is driving these criticisms? Knowing what is behind the self-criticism will make it easier for you to attack the source of the criticism.

3. Motivation or concern?

Everything we do or think has a function, even if it is not obvious, there is always a motive in what we do and think. The human being is an animal that orients his behavior to goals, therefore, it is important that you identify the function of self-criticism. For example, it may be that you use self-criticism to motivate yourself; for example, by demanding more and better performance from yourself. What happens is that many times self-criticism and self-criticism and personal demands end up being the focus of our attention and we lose sight of the goal we were pursuing..

4. Flee from perfectionism

We only care about doing better and achieving perfection; this generates levels of stress and anxiety that end up damaging our performance.. Therefore, we criticize ourselves and demand ourselves to do better, and end up hurting our performance with the demands. If in your case, you believe that self-criticism seeks to motivate you, you can implement strategies to motivate yourself in a positive way and thus reduce your level of demand.

We only care about doing better and achieving perfection; this generates levels of stress and anxiety that end up damaging our performance.. Thus, we criticize ourselves and demand ourselves to do better, and end up hurting our performance with the demands. If in your case, you believe that self-criticism seeks to motivate you, you can implement strategies to motivate yourself in a positive way and thus reduce your level of demand.

5. Mentoring yourself for failure: a double-edged sword

On the other hand, self-criticism can give us the false perception of preparing ourselves for possible failure. If we believe that we are not doing well and we give ourselves this message, it would seem that if we fail, we already expected it. This is an illusion. If we fail, it will affect us even more, because self-criticism prolongs the time we are receiving negative messages and these end up being validated by our experience..

6. Solution: relativize and question your thoughts.

To be able to deal with self-criticism effectively it is necessary that we manage to distance ourselves from our thoughts and understand them as mental contents, and not as absolute truths.and not as absolute truths. Distancing ourselves from our thoughts is an ability that is achieved through practice and the modification of certain mental habits. You can practice distancing yourself from your thoughts and observing them as contents of your mind if you make a habit of questioning why you think something and what evidence you have to be sure or doubt what you think. It may also be useful to observe your thoughts as messages from your mind and to let them go as you have them, without doing anything with them.

7. Solution: Are you reproducing other people's fears and insecurities?

Another way to deal with self-criticism is to analyze if this pattern of behavior has been copied from people we had or have in our environment. This is extremely important in order to take control of our mind. To do this, you can ask yourself: Did I copy this way of criticizing myself from someone else? Is it the result of my personal will or have I learned that it is the best way to improve my performance? Do I really want to be this way?

Overcome your fears and chase your dreams.

You have to be aware that all the information you find out about yourself, the fears that guide your demands and your self-criticism has to serve you to act differently.

Distancing yourself from your thoughts and assessing the function of the criticisms you make to yourself must guide you to attack the source of your fears. Facing self-criticism implies a modification of our habits, therefore, we need time to put into practice a different way of facing ourselves. If you follow these steps, you will be closer to overcoming these insecurities and being able to successfully face the challenges you set yourself..