Assertive people: 10 characteristics they have in common

A step-by-step guide to improve the greatest communicative virtue: assertiveness.

The assertiveness is a key communication style in many ways. Being assertive means that expressing your opinion correctly and defending your point of view, while also respecting the rights of others.. Therefore, it is necessary for communicating efficiently with other individuals, but also for our own emotional well-being.

It benefits us because it can increase our self-esteem, make us earn the respect of other people and can even help us prevent and reduce stress. Fortunately, you can learn to be assertive and, therefore, in today's article we explain what characterizes assertive people.

Assertiveness: its three main areas

Not everyone communicates assertively, which can lead to interpersonal conflicts that, on many occasions, could be avoided. Assertiveness, moreover, is an attitude that manifests itself in how we assert ourselves and how we defend our rights, i.e., in the expression of our rights.that is to say, in the expression of our feelings, needs, preferences and opinions. Always taking into account the opinion of the other person, respecting and valuing it.

To sum up, there are three basic pillars of assertivenessAssertiveness: self-assertion self-assertionself-assertion, the expression of positive feelings (praise, liking, etc.) and expression of negative expression of negative feelings (expression of disagreement or displeasure) in an appropriate and respectful manner.

Characteristics of assertive people

What characterizes assertive people? The following 10 traits are common characteristics of assertive people. Do you dare to know them?

1. They are self-confident

Assertive people are self-confident and are not afraid to show themselves in this way. In contrast, insecure people tend to put on a shell and be defensive. In addition, people who are not assertive will let other people decide for them, as they have serious difficulties in showing their point of view and saying "no".

2. They respect the opinion of others

And since this type of person is confident, they are also able to accept the opinions and opinions of others, they are also capable of accepting the opinions and beliefs of others.. This does not mean that they share them, they simply know that everyone has his or her own opinion.

3. They validate the emotions of others.

Emotional validation is a process of learning, understanding and expressing acceptance of another individual's emotional experience. It is key because improves interpersonal relationships, because the other individual feels understood about what he/she feels and favors the verbalization of what he/she thinks. and favors the verbalization of what he/she thinks. Assertive people are experts when it comes to emotionally validate others, which causes an increase in trust between the two actors in the relationship.

• You can learn more about emotional validation in our article: "Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it".

4. Active listening

Assertive individuals listen, they really listen.. Not only that, but they listen actively. What does that mean? Well, they pay attention not only to what the other person says, but also to what he/she feels and what he/she expresses emotionally. This is achieved with a correct eye contact, without interrupting the other person and emotionally validating the other interlocutor to confirm that he/she has received the verbal and non-verbal information correctly.

• Recommended article: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others".

5. They know themselves

Assertive people know themselves and know the path they are following in life.. They are conscious people who have a great self-knowledge. They understand their emotions so they are not afraid of them.

6. They accept themselves unconditionally

One of the keys to self-confidence is that they do not think about what others think of them. This happens because they they accept themselves as they are and, therefore, they open up to others without expecting anything in return. They have great inner strength, and this allows them to be more successful in their lives.

7. They choose their friends

This type of person usually chooses who will accompany them on their journey through life.. At least, as much as possible, they stay away from toxic people because they allow into their lives those people who really deserve to be their friends.

8. They know their limitations but fight with all their strength.

In addition to accepting each other unconditionally, they also accept their limitations.. However, these people fight with all their strength to fulfill their desires, because they are faithful to their ideals. This makes them committed people. To be able to accept others, one must first accept oneself.

9. They know how to regulate their emotions

Knowing how to regulate emotions and having great emotional control is crucial when relating to others. And assertive people know how to understand and manage their own feelings and those of others appropriately.... This allows them to know what the other person needs, and to adapt their tone and message to the circumstances.

10. They face conflicts in a serene way

Therefore, this helps them to deal with conflicts with other individuals in a calm manner.. They experience no more anxiety than necessary when interacting with others and are able to deal calmly with conflicts. Not only that, but they also learn from failures or successes because they know that they are part of life.