Bereavement: 5 ways in which it can affect us

A summary of how psychological grief affects us emotionally.

The death of a family member is one of the most frequent reasons why people feel they need psychotherapeutic help.

This is understandable, given that in many cases, the absence of that loved one becomes something that is constantly thought about during the first days after the death, and this implies a clear psychological wear and tear.

Here we will see what are the most common psychological effects of bereavement in the event of the death of a family memberto better understand this phenomenon.

How can grief over the death of a family member affect us?

The psychological mourning is a psychological alteration of mainly emotional type that arises after experiencing situations of loss.The most common example of bereavement is when a loved one dies, since this is the definitive loss of someone very important to us, either totally or partially.

The example of grief par excellence is the one that appears in most people when one of their loved ones dies, since this supposes the definitive loss of someone very significant for oneself.

Most cases of psychological grief do not result in mental disorder or evolve into what is known as "complicated grief", but that does not mean that it does not produce a strong Pain during the days or weeks in which it is present. Here we will see what are the main emotional and behavioral implications of a "normal" bereavement for the death of a family member.

1. Obsessive ruminations

Obsessive ruminations consist of thoughts and mental images that appear frequently in the consciousness and that, in spite of producing discomfortwe are not able to "block" them.

In the case of people who are undergoing a mourning process, these mental contents that arise in their consciousness over and over again usually refer to what they have lost, experiences that will not be repeated, etc.

2. Anxiety

Anxiety is also a common phenomenon in those who suffer from the death of a family member. Many of these people feel that they are overwhelmed by the situation, that no matter what they do, the reality of the situation will not be the same.They feel that no matter what they do, reality can turn against them and, in short, they feel that they are exposed to all kinds of sources of pain and discomfort.

In part, this is because the fact of living closely with a death implies having a very clear reminder that one is vulnerable.

3. Problems sleeping

Problems falling asleep are relatively common. in people who have recently lost a loved one, and are due, in part, to the emotional disturbances explained above.

Even people who are in a process of psychological grief who do not have problems falling asleep (for example, because they are exhausted from having spent most of the day undergoing anxiety) may suffer problems in the quality of their sleep due to nightmares, which are more common in such situations.

4. Melancholy

In any normal grieving process it is very common to fantasize that the person who died is still alive and that we can still relate to him/her.

It is a way to release the tension accumulated by the frustration of not being able to be with the person who died.But at the same time, this generates the sensation that reality is not capable of satisfying us.

5. Dysfunctional habits

When the most painful emotions are at the surface, we expose ourselves more to the risk of adopting harmful habitsBecause we are tempted to seek distractions and experiences that help us mask our discomfort.

Examples of this kind of harmful coping strategies are the tendency to binge eat even when we are not hungry, postponing responsibilities so that we can stay longer watching television, and so on.

Bereavement does not imply the development of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

There are two psychopathological alterations that, although they are not part of the grieving process per se, many people tend to intuitively associate them with the concept of the death of family members: depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.To what extent is it common for them to appear after the loss of a loved one?

From what has been seen from research on this topic, the occasions when psychological bereavement gives way to one of these two disorders (or both at the same time) are relatively rare, although it should be noted that depressive disorders with or without bereavement are quite common.

This means that although post-traumatic stress disorder and major depression are not rare mental disorders, it is not very likely that a psychological bereavement will give rise to them.

On the one hand, most cases of bereavement usually resolve almost completely within a few weeks or a few days. within a few weeks or a few months, and do not develop into a mood disorder such as major depression.

Of course, people who have already suffered episodes of depression in the past have a higher risk of relapse after going through one of these losses, but even in these cases, a death does not necessarily mean that they will develop symptoms again.

On the other hand, post-traumatic stress disorder usually develops when a catastrophic or violent event is experiencedThe emotional shock, and a large number of deaths do not present these characteristics. Even in those people who have developed complicated grief and who have witnessed a violent death, the cases in which post-traumatic stress develops do not reach 65%.

Are you looking for psychotherapeutic help in the face of grief?

In therapy it is possible to learn to adequately manage emotions and habits associated with the maintenance of griefin order to overcome it in the best possible way.

If you are going through painful moments due to a grieving process that you find difficult, we invite you to get in touch with our team of professionals.

Psicomaster is a mental health assistance center in which we work with psychologists and psychiatrists with many years of experience and trained in the most effective methods when it comes to assisting patients of all ages.

You can count on our services both in person at our facilities in Madrid and through online therapy. To see more information about Psicomaster, access this page.

Bibliographical references:

• Archer, J. (1999). The nature of grief: The evolution and psychology of reactions to loss. London, England: Routledge.
• Bayés, R. (2001). Psicología del sufrimiento y de la muerte. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
• Neria, Y.; Gross R.; Litz B. et al. (2007). Prevalence and psychological correlates of complicated grief among bereaved adults 2.5-3.5 years after September 11th attacks. Journal of Traumatic Stress; 20: pp. 251 - 262.
• Payás, A. (2008). Psychological functions and treatment of obsessive ruminations in bereavement. Rev. Asoc. Esp. Neuropsiq., 28(102): pp. 307 - 323.
• Shear, K., Frank,E., Houck, P., & Reynolds, C. (2005). Treatment of complicated grief: A randomized controlled trial. JAMA, 293: pp. 2601 - 2608.
• Stroebe M., Schut H. & Boerner K. (2017) Models of coping in bereavement: an updated overview. Psychology Studies, 38(3): pp. 582-607.
• Worden, W.J. (2004). The treatment of grief: psychological counseling and therapy. Barcelona: Paidós.