Breakup of a couple, not of a family

Several key ideas to prevent the breakup from being a radical separation that is detrimental to the children.

The breakup of a couple generally entails a series of consequences for the parents.

For example, in most cases the separation involves lower income and increased expenses, because you have to pay another house- This affects the children, as they are also affected financially, And that is why it is desirable that parents agree on how to assume the economic situation, especially taking into account the interests of the children involved.

But there are also psycho-emotional effects. It is common that the person who did not make the decision to separate presents symptoms associated with stress, anxiety and depression. If the emotional state of one of the parents is very unbalanced, it is necessary to attend a psychological consultation. But psychological disturbances can also occur in children, especially in childhood.

Emotional alterations of the children linked to the rupture of their parents.

These are the problems of emotional type that can occur in the minors in such a situation.

Feeling of guilt

Sometimes children feel guilty or responsible for all the problems derived from the separation, especially when it is not explained to them.especially when it is not explained to them what is happening.

2. Anxiety and depression

When children do not receive adequate support and constant assistance from their parents, anxiety and depression often arise.

3. Regressive behaviors

There may be a regression in development, which leads to emit behaviors of previous stagesBedwetting, thumb sucking, sleep disorders, apathy about going to school, excessive crying, tantrums...

4. Disruptive behaviors

There may appear behaviors that involve impulsivity and breaking of rules of coexistence.

5. Feelings of frustration and rejection

The children reject that their parents separate while maintaining the hope of seeing their family united, and as consequence a lot of frustration and uncertainty arises.

6. School problems

When children are faced with the separation of parents, sometimes their interest in school activities decreases. their interest in school activities decreases and they pay less attention in class. and they pay less attention in class.

What should we keep in mind?

Not all children suffer the breakup in the same way, each child will experience it in a different way and with different intensity, since there are a series of variables that can increase the risk of emotional maladjustment..

It is necessary to eliminate conflict and maintain a positive co-parental relationship so that children do not suffer long-term negative consequences.

Age determines children's capacity for understanding and self-regulation in the face of parental separation.. Younger children tend to have behavioral problems, and older children tend to have social competencies. It is important to remember that maladjustments are different for each age group.

It is also necessary to take into account what is the level of parental conflict (before, during and after separation). It is important to remember to minimize conflict and not to involve the children.

The absence of age-appropriate explanation by both parents of what is going on around the child can cause distress. around them can generate anguish, confusion and insecurity.

On the other hand, deteriorating the image of the other parent worsens the situation; children or adolescents have the right to have a good image of their parent, to enhance and maintain their emotional adjustment.

In addition, when parents lack emotional stability the negative consequences for the children will be detrimental. It is therefore important to seek psychological support or counseling.

Nor should it be forgotten that it is essential that children feel loved by both parents, with the freedom to give affection to their children. with the freedom to give affection to their parents and their extended family. Preventing one of the parents and the extended family (especially the grandparents) from having a relationship with the children violates the right of the children and limits the support that the extended family can provide in the present or in the future.

The presence of a new partner is important in the life of the sons and daughters and it is important that they have presence in a prudent time to be present in the life of the child or children. In addition, they should never occupy the parent's space.

Educational discrepancies can have a terrible effect on the child's development.. It is important to reduce these differences so that they do not affect the children.

Of course, the gender of the parents does not determine that one has more economic responsibilities than the other, such as the care and education of the children. Neither parent is better than the other because of being male or female or the one who contributes more financially.

Different ways of resolving breakups

The rupture can be solved by judicial means; however, it is advisable to do it out of court.

Judicial

It is a judicial decision. The parents opt for the contentious route and through their representatives go to court to have the dispute resolved by a judicial decision-maker through a judgment (which they are obliged to comply with). so that a judicial decision-maker resolves the conflict by means of a sentence (which they are obliged to comply with).

Extrajudicial

The parents, before initiating the judicial process, voluntarily go to a family mediation service. The mediator, in an impartial manner, helps them to reach an agreement.. Finally, the agreements that are reached are taken to public deed.

This is what is called positive co-parenting; family mediation promotes co-parenting and leads couples to reach agreements that are more satisfactory to all. for all. Co-parenting is a way of respecting the rights of the children and fulfilling the obligations as parents. The exercise of co-parenting obliges both parents to take responsibility and participate in the development and well-being of their children on equal terms.