Child to parent violence: what is it and why does it occur?

A type of violence that a child directs at his or her parents or adults acting as parents.

Child to parent violence is violence committed by children against their parents.. It usually, but not necessarily, occurs on the part of minor males towards the mother. The aggressions can be physical, psychological or material and occur repeatedly, with the aim of maintaining control of the family dynamics. As a result, significant cycles of violence are generated that have negative repercussions on both the victims and the family itself.

In this article we will see in more detail what is the filio-parental violence, why it can occur and what are some of its consequences.

What is child to parent violence?

Child to parent violence is a type of domestic violence characterized by a set of aggressive acts perpetrated by a minor towards his or her parent, making the latter feel threatened, intimidated and controlled (Paterson, Luntz, Perlesz and Cotton, 2002, cited by Gámez-Guadix and Calvete, 2012).

In the Spanish penal code, filio-parental violence is typified in article 173(2) and is defined as "habitual ill-treatment in the family setting", where the main characteristic is the civil or cohabitation relationship between the victim and the aggressor, which does not necessarily imply a civil or cohabitation relationship between the victim and the aggressor., which does not necessarily imply the biological link between the two (Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío, 2018). In other words, the victim is the one who has a civil responsibility with the aggressor, although it is not always the parent.

Main characteristics

Filio-parental violence can occur in families with Blood ties, as well as in foster, adoptive or reconstructed families. Likewise, the aggression can be direct or indirect, and the mistreatment can be verbal, psychological, material or economic. the abuse may be verbal, psychological, material or economic, physical or sexual..

Such mistreatment is also characterized by the presence of behaviors of intimidation, control, dominance or power on the part of the aggressor, which are carried out intentionally and may cause harm or pain to the victim. On the other hand, aggressions can be exercised by one or several members of the family nucleus, and directed at one or several members of the same.

As this is a socially unacceptable phenomenon, one of the characteristics of child to parent violence is that is that it is usually kept hidden within the family, which aggravates the circle of abuse.which aggravates the circle of violence. For the same reason, this is a phenomenon that until recently had not been studied.

Especially when it comes to minor children, this phenomenon is often covered up, since the responsibility for the child's behavior tends to fall entirely on the parents, in many cases on the mother, who is precisely the object of the aggression in most cases. is the target of the aggression in the majority of cases..

Currently, child to parent violence has gained special interest, so there is a large amount of specialized literature on the subject.

Why does it happen?

The clinical-forensic psychologist and Ombudsman for Minors of the Community of Madrid, Javier Urra, is one of the most renowned specialists in research and description of child-parental violence.

He tells us that in most cases it is exercised by a male minor between 12 and 18 years of age.and that the aggression occurs mainly towards the mother. It is usually the eldest child, although it can be younger children, which generally occurs when the older ones have left home.

The same psychologist explains that filio-parental violence is related to the development of dominant personalities and behaviors in children, which in turn is a consequence of both an excessively permissive society and previous exposure to violence.

Following on from the above, we will now briefly discuss the relationship between child to parent violence and experiences of violence within and outside the family, as well as some of the causes of child to parent violence. some of the causes of child to parent violence within families..

Relationship between child to parent violence and exposure to violence

Urra (2006) does not say that some of the elements that surround child to parent violence and represent important risk factors are the following:

• Violence learned vicariouslyViolence learned vicariously, for example, from the father's treatment of the mother.
• In the case of children of separated parents, it can occur through the influence of the father's comments on the mother. by the influence of the father's comments on the mother, and vice versa, as well as by the influence of the father's comments on the mother.and vice versa, as well as by certain styles of cohabitation with new partners.
• In adopted children, it may occur due to a history of violence or condescending parenting styles that compensate for the lack of blood ties.

On the other hand, Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío (2018), in their review on the scientific literature on filio-parental violence, tell us that violent behavior occurs when the individual has learned to use force of any kind on another individual.This is a mechanism to achieve goals, solve problems and resolve conflicts, within a framework where there is a real or perceived imbalance of power.

The latter is in addition to studies on the explanatory model of the intergenerational theory of violence, which report how the observation or experience of maltreatment is a risk factor that triggers child to parent violence.

In other words, direct or indirect exposure to violence, which among other things brings with it the inability to firmly reject inappropriate behaviors, increases the likelihood that a child-to-parent violence dynamic will develop. Such exposure usually occurs within the homeHowever, it can also happen on the street or within other close environments.

Intensification by bidirectional violence within the family.

Following the previous line, Sancho, 2016, tells us that child to parent violence is a phenomenon that is not only a problem of the child, but of the family as a whole. This is so because, on the one hand, violent dynamics are usually experienced negatively by all family members. On the other hand, all types of intrafamily violence has a series of elements that speak of relational and not only individual dynamics and conflicts. and not only individual.

For example, it usually happens that there are desperate attempts to reestablish the hierarchy, thus installing a bidirectional violence dynamic, which, being perceived as aggression by both parties, is justified as a form of self-defense (Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío, 2018). This intensifies and lengthens the cycle of violence, however, such dynamics, which lead to the violent relationship, can be tracked, identified and modified.

Emotional consequences on parents and prevention strategy

We have seen that filio-parental violence is that through which the child engages in abusive behavior against his or her parents, or against those who perform this function. The latter This occurs consciously or intentionally, as well as repeatedly over a period of time. over a period of time.

It should be noted that the two previous elements, intentionality and repetition, are determining factors for behaviors to be defined as maltreatment, and to be distinguished from a punctual aggression that is not considered child to parent violence (Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío, 2018).

On the other hand, the immediate purpose of the exercise of violence is not so much to cause harm as to gain control over the dynamics generated with the victim. However, harm is one of the inevitable consequences, since such dominance is pursued through psychological, emotional, physical, or economic violence.

The main consequence of the latter is the prolonged experience of suffering and frustration in the parents, both because of the violent situationThe main consequence of the latter is the parents' prolonged experience of suffering and frustration due to the violent situation and also to the feeling of lacking resources to avoid or counteract it. It can also imply important difficulties with the partner or with whom the child's care is shared.

Specifically, depending on the frequency and intensity of the aggressions, child to parent violence can provoke concealment, guilt, shame and sense of failure, to mention some of the main emotional consequences for the parents.

Finally, according to the research of Molla-Esparza and Aroca-Montolío (2018), the higher the level of helplessness and confusion on their part, the higher the risk of perpetuating the cycle of violence, since it is generated between the need to give in and on the other hand the need to defend themselves; reason why, prevention and intervention strategies should act towards breaking the coercive dynamics of this cycle.

Bibliographical references:

• Molla-Esparza, C. and Aroca-Montolío, C. (2018). Minors who Mistreat their Parents: Integral definition and its Cycle of Violence. Yearbook of Legal Psychology, 28: 15-21.
• Sancho, JL. (2016). Filioparental violence: psychosocial characteristics of adolescents and parents in severe family conflict. Doctoral dissertation, Faculty of Psychology, Complutense University of Madrid.
• Rodríguez, N. (2017). Study of filio-parental violence: analysis of a juvenile court case. Final Degree Project in Psychology, Universitat Jaume I.
• Gámez-Guadix, M. and Calvete, E. (2012). Filioparental violence and its association with exposure to marital violence and parent-child aggression. Psicothema, 24(2): 277-283.
• Urra, J. (2006). The little dictator. When parents are the victims. La Esfera de los Libros: Madrid.