Coping with bereavement after suicide

It is not easy to accept that someone has ended his or her life in order to make the suffering stop.

The word bereavement refers not only to the pain of the death of a loved one, but also to a situation of loss such as a divorce, a dismissal or the loss of a member of the family.It also refers to a situation of loss such as a divorce, a dismissal or the loss of a body part after an accident. Grief is a universal experience that all human beings go through at different times and in different situations.

Grieving the death of a loved one is never easy. In the case of suicide bereavement the grief becomes even more intense because it is coupled with feelings of guilt and helplessness. The intentional death of a loved one leaves family and friends very confused and with a high degree of anguish..

Suicide is marked by stigma. Many people see it as shameful or sinful, others see it as "a choice" and blame the family. Many times they do not know how to support survivors and simply avoid the situation out of ignorance. Whatever the reason, it is important to keep in mind that suicide and the underlying grief are complex processes.

When a person commits suicide, immediate family members who live with the person, the rest of the family, neighbors, friends, fellow students and/or co-workers are directly affected.

How to overcome bereavement by suicide: initial reflections.

Through the testimonies of those who have attempted suicide, we know that the main goal of suicide is not to end life, but to end suffering.but to end suffering.

People with suicidal ideation are struggling with an emotional agony that makes life unacceptable. Most people who die by suicide have depression that reduces their ability to solve problems.

Why is grief more difficult to overcome?

The elaboration of grief involves a series of processes that, beginning with the loss, end with the acceptance of reality, the reorientation of mental activity and the recomposition of the inner world.

Relatives and friends of people who have died by suicide are likely to feel great grief and bewilderment. They often wonder, "Why did this happen, how did I not see this coming?" They feel overwhelming guilt about what they should have done too much or too little of. They have recurring thoughts that plague them almost daily. They often feel guilt, as if they are somehow responsible.

Many also experience anger and rage toward their loved one. by abandonment or rejection, or disappointment in thinking they were not loved enough to sustain their desire to live.

These erroneous assumptions can last for a long time if not dealt with properly. Many struggle for years trying to find answers or understand an event that in many cases is incomprehensible.

On the other hand, society still plays a damaging role in creating a stigma around death by suicide, which causes survivors to feel that makes survivors feel excluded. Survivors of loved ones who have died from terminal illness, accident, old age or other types of death are often given sympathy and compassion. A family member is never blamed for Cancer or Alzheimer's, but society continues to cast a shadow over suicide.

The role of memories

Another factor that makes suicide bereavement different is memories. When a loved one is lost through illness or accident, we hold happy memories. We may think of our loved one and share stories with nostalgia. However, this is often not true for the suicide survivor. Thoughts arise for him or her such as, "Maybe he or she wasn't happy when I took this picture of him or her?" "Why didn't I see his or her emotional pain when we were on vacation?"

Survivors of suicide loss not only experience these aspects of complicated grief, but they are also are prone to develop symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.. The unspeakable sadness about the suicide becomes an endless cycle of bewilderment, grief, flashbacks, and a need to numb the distress.

Ways to help a suicide loss survivor

If you know someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, there are many things you can do. In addition to accompanying them in their grief, you can help them get rid of the stigma created by society.

Ask if and how you can help

In the event that they are not willing to accept help, with this gesture you show that you are there for them. Avoid distancing yourself from them so that they know they can talk to you whenever they need to.

2. Be patient

Don't set a time limit on the survivor's grief. Complicated grief can take years. Encourage him or her to share stories and express thoughts.. Repetition can be a key factor in recovery.

3. Listen

Be a compassionate listener. The best gift you can give to a loved one who has survived a suicide loss is your time, reassurance and affection.

4. Acceptance

Assume that they need to express their feelings, sometimes with silence and sometimes with sadness or anger. Don't be afraid to talk about suicide. You can, express your feelings of sadness and name the loved one. Those who have lost someone to suicide are in great pain, and they really need your empathy, compassion and understanding.

Ways to help yourself if you have suffered a loss by suicide.

It can be very painful, but you have to learn to come to terms with reality and understand that you are not responsible for the suicide of someone else. you are not responsible for your loved one's suicide..

1. Do not put limits on your grief

The grieving period takes time. You need to go through the different phases until you accept the reality.

2. Plan for the future

When you are ready, organize with the help of your family the days of family celebrations, birthdays and Christmas.birthdays and Christmas. Understand that these moments will be experienced with sadness and look for supportive and reinforcing ties to minimize intense sadness reactions.

3. Make Connections

Consider joining a support group designed specifically for survivors of suicide loss. The environment can provide a healing and mutually supportive environment. and mutually supportive environment.

4. Seek professional help if you need it

Remember that you are going through one of the most difficult and painful situations in life and you may need and you may need therapy so as not to unnecessarily lengthen the stages of grief.