Couple crisis due to routine problems: 5 possible causes

These elements of living together damage the relationship little by little, until the crisis arrives.

Often, couple crises do not arise from an event that suddenly reveals that something in the relationship is not going well.

Although cases of infidelity or particularly hard arguments give rise to some cases of rupture that are remembered above all for their dramatic charge, the truth is that in most cases marital or dating problems come through a gradual process, small dysfunctions whose effect accumulates over the weeks.

All this set of warning signs are usually confined to the field of cohabitation routines, those seemingly banal and frequent situations that arise with the day-to-day dealings both inside and outside the home.

In this article we will see a summary of the main routine problems that can trigger a couple crisis, and what they imply.and what they entail.

Common causes of couple crisis due to dysfunctional routines.

These are some of the most common causes of couple crisis that arise from dysfunctional routines of coexistence, which produce a vitiated and unsatisfactory environment.

1. Lack of variety in leisure plans

It is common for one of the people involved in the relationship to have a greater preference than the other for new experiences from time to time.

This is not a problem if there is a constant dialogue about how they should spend their time together, but in some cases, this type of asymmetry in the couple's relationship gives way to a problem that accumulates. And that is when something is not talked about, implicitly assumes that the routine is validated, and this becomes the "default" option, that which is assumed to be done unless someone says otherwise.that which is taken for granted to be done unless someone says otherwise. And often, there is a certain fear of proposing to break the routine, either because of the fear of having to face the problem of what to do with the free time, or because of the fear of revealing that what has been done as a couple for months has become a bit boring.

2. Asymmetries in the distribution of tasks

In many couple relationships, there is someone who feels more discomfort if he or she sees tasks still to be done, and who is in charge of doing them. Over time, this causes them to have a greater workload, and this inequality is normalized by the simple fact that it has always been there (as long as the cohabitation period has lasted). Opening the melon of reassigning responsibilities becomes a cause for concern.and that is why there are people who prefer to "procrastinate".

3. Taboos in the sexual sphere

It is no secret that sex is an almost inexhaustible source of taboos even in our days. For many couples, it's something that is barely talked about. And of course, where communication fails, there is a breeding ground for frustrations, insecurities and even boredom.

4. Tendency not to approach arguments in a problem-solving way.

Many couples approach discussions as a battle of egos, a battlefield where the only thing that matters is not to come out on top of the other. This causes the most important part of this type of clash of wills to be overshadowed by the feelings of anger and frustration.The act of arguing should end when one of the parties has had enough and no longer wants to expose himself to reproaches, and not when a solution or agreement has been reached.

5. Lack of quality couple time

Finally, another of the elements of routine that lends itself more to generate couple crisis is the lack of time together. Many times it is due to poor time management at work, and other times it is simply a habit of being in different rooms doing leisure activities that are solitary.

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If you are going through a bad time due to problems in the field of relationships or emotional management and you are looking for professional help to overcome the situation, contact me, please contact me.

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Bibliographical references:

• Atkinson, B.J. (2005). Emotional intelligence in couples therapy: Advances from neurobiology and the science of intimate relationships. W W Norton & Co.
• Campuzo Montoya, M. (2002). Pareja humana: Su psicología, sus conflictos, su tratamiento. Mexico: AMPAG.
• Christensen, A.; Atkins D.C.; Baucom B.; Yi J. (2010). Marital status and satisfaction five years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78(2): pp. 225 - 235.
• Dattilio, F.M. & Padesky, C.A. (2004). Terapia Cognitiva con parejas. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
• Sternberg, R.J. (1987). Liking vs. loving: a comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102(3): pp. 331 - 345.