Couples therapy and its link to sexuality

What is the relationship between relationship problems and sexuality problems?

In most cases, the health of the loving bond in a couple's relationship has a lot to do with the way they live their sexuality.

Except in the case of asexual people, sexual life is linked to the way in which the vast majority of people express their affection for the person with whom they are in a couple relationship; it is not just a matter of pleasure or fun.

That is why, when a couple going through bad times decides to go to couples therapy, one of the aspects of life that often reveal problems is the sexual one. often reveal problems is sexuality.. Let's see how this connection is established between these two areas of intimate life.

The link between the couple's relationship and sexuality

Over time, what we understand by love has changed a great deal, to the point that several centuries ago the affection that united two people involved in a couple bore little resemblance to today's romantic love. However, just because the type of affective bond that predominates in couples today is conditioned by culture does not mean that it is meaningless, or that it is arbitrary.

In fact, there is one theme that has always gone hand in hand with the experience of couple love: sexuality. This set of behaviors and intimate interactions is one of the basic ways of expressing love. one of the basic forms of expressing affection in actionsIt is true that sexual behavior has not been uninterrupted since before the appearance of language.

It is true that sexual behavior is not only used to express love, but whenever there is couple love (except for the exceptions we have seen of asexual people), there is sexuality. This does not mean that loving each other a lot implies making love a lot, but finding a balance in the way of living sex together; a compatibility difficult to describe with words, because it has more to do with chemistry than with the rational or logical.

Thus, if a mismatch arises in a couple's relationship at the level of sexuality, it is possible that at the beginning nothing significant happens, but in the medium and long term problems usually appear. Fears in these cases are common, as well as insecurity and even compensatory behavior and even compensatory behavior, which in turn leads to more problems. Thus a chain reaction appears that can be added to other difficulties that the relationship is going through, making it easier for a couple's crisis to begin to manifest itself.

In the same way, relationship problems that in principle have nothing to do with sexual matters tend to "leak" into this area of the relationship as well, which often leads to the search for self-satisfaction or boredom in the case of conflicts and arguments, for example, or passivity and fear of failure, if one assumes the role of a dependent and submissive partner, to give another example. In practice, it is almost impossible to totally dissociate sexual relations from the other things that happen in a relationship. in a couple's relationship.

Couples therapy and sexuality

Having seen the above, it is not surprising that many people go to a psychologist seeking couples therapy, when what they really need is a combination of couples therapy and sex therapy. After all, they are communicating vessels, for better or for worse, and when a problem arises in one of these when a problem appears in one of these areas, it also affects the other.. Fortunately, this also means that the underlying problem can be addressed in both ways.

Let's see how teams of psychologists work to help those who need professional support both in the way they relate to their sexuality and in the way they communicate, live together and express affection in other aspects of life.

What is couples therapy?

Couples therapy is a form of psychological intervention done in a group of three (the therapy professional, and the members of the couple, who attend the sessions at the same time). In this process a space for communication is created, emphasizing the need to not prejudge and to let each person express him/herself. and let each person express him/herself in an honest way, and then look for common solutions, on the one hand, and train new habits that reinforce the loving bond, on the other.

Thus, psychologists help to adopt the theory of what it means to live well together and love each other, but above all the practice, proposing routines and tasks to practice between sessions and that modify both the lifestyle and beliefs of each of the patients, acting both individually and as a couple in constant interaction.

What is done in sex therapy?

Although sex therapy is independent of the previous one (it can be used in people who do not have a partner), many times these areas overlap, as we have seen. It is a service in which helps the person to improve the fullness of his or her sexual life, both in the company of someone else and in the company of a partner.both in the company of someone else and alone.

It is not only a matter of providing a solution to possible sexual dysfunctions; even someone without such disorders can benefit from the positive effects of sex therapy, which in most cases are reflected in self-confidence, acceptance of one's own body and nudity, greater willingness to please both the other person and oneself, etc.

Where to start?

If you are interested in having professional help in the field of couples or sexuality, make sure you have the assistance of clinics that offer both couples therapy and sex therapy.

For example, our psychology center in Barcelona, PsicoToolshas both individual psychotherapy and couples therapy services, and our team also has an expert in sex therapy.

If you are interested in learning more or viewing our contact information, click here.