Emotional (or love) withdrawal syndrome: what it is and how to overcome it

The anxiety produced by the absence of an ex-partner can cause a lot of discomfort and frustration.

After a breakup, and especially in the first days and weeks after the goodbye, we can experience very intense feelings that, on many occasions, can affect our ability to be objective and rational. The pain, the sadness, the anguish, the inability to concentrate, and the desires to contact our ex desires to contact our ex-partner can lead to situations of vulnerability can lead to situations of vulnerability, in which it is possible to be carried away by impulses or outbursts that we may regret later.

Ending a relationship and letting go of the person we have loved so much is complicated, and although we are clear that we have done the right thing by moving away, there may be moments when we feel weak and let our emotions take over. In fact, psychologists claim that the same brain regions are activated during falling in love as during drug use, which leads some individuals to emotional or love withdrawal syndrome when they have to break up with their partner. when they have to break up with their partner. This not only causes psychological Pain but can also lead to physical symptoms.

In the following lines we will talk about this phenomenon and delve into its characteristics.

The chemistry in the brain of the person in love

Anyone who has experienced falling in love knows that it is, without a doubt, one of the best experiences we can have. But there is also the other side of the coin: it is falling out of love. A difficult situation to overcome, which can lead us to an existential crisis if we do not know how to manage it correctly. if we do not know how to manage it correctly.

And the fact is that falling out of love leads us to live really painful moments, because the brain chemistry of the person in love can cause us to become addicted to our exdirecting all our senses towards that person and making our day to day life become an attempt to get ahead and recover our well-being even though we want to melt in the arms of our special someone.

When we have the "monkey" for someone

The chemistry of love can make us live in a cloud, but when we do not have the possibility of being with the person we want we can feel the "monkey", as if it were a drug.

When we fall in love, our brain secretes substances such as serotonin (related to happiness), endorphins (hormones associated with the sensation of pleasure), adrenaline (makes us feel energetic) and dopamine, which has an important function in the survival of human beings, causing the repetition of those behaviors that are key to the survival of the species. For example, food or sex. But is also implicated in addictive behaviors, such as drug usesuch as drug use or compulsive gambling.

In this sense, the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, after an investigation, affirmed that "when love is broken, just as when someone gives up drugs, side effects such as depressive or obsessive behaviors, and even withdrawal syndrome, can appear. Generally, this syndrome, whether emotional or drug abuse, causes psychological and physical symptoms, because it affects our nervous system".

Symptoms of the emotional withdrawal syndrome

The emotional withdrawal syndrome appears when we must stop seeing the person with whom we are in love, either by our own will or someone else's will. And in those situations where there may be conflicts, such as toxic relationships, infidelities, etc. its symptomatology may increase. Fortunately, some people are aware that these symptoms are temporary and that, with time, it is possible to recover the emotional balance once the neural circuits are weakened.

However, some individuals are unable to cope with the some individuals are unable to cope with emotional pain.They have low self-esteem or do not have the necessary tools to overcome this stage. As a consequence, they become hooked to the partner: they are unable to overcome the addiction. In these cases it is necessary to seek psychological therapy.

The symptoms that a person with emotional withdrawal syndrome experiences are:

Psychological symptoms:

• Anguish and anxiety.
• Sadness and melancholy.
• Desire to be with the loved one, to call and contact them.
• Dizziness and lack of concentration
• Insomnia.
• Loss of appetite.
• Obsessive thoughts.
• Feeling of detachment from life.
• Inability to enjoy daily activities

Physical symptoms

• Dizziness.
• nausea
• headaches.
• tightness in the chest
• vomiting

The duration of the withdrawal syndrome varies from person to person, and in many cases it may be a brief experience, which disappears as one accepts the situation.. However, as falling out of love is not a linear process, it may happen that the person affected experiences this syndrome frequently, because he/she is unable to cope with the situation or because he/she continues to have contact with the person he/she loves despite the breakup.

What to do to overcome the emotional withdrawal syndrome

To overcome withdrawal syndrome and, in general, heartbreak, it is possible to follow some of these strategies.

1. Recognize the symptoms and know that it is transitory.

Emotional withdrawal syndrome peaks soon after the breakup (the first month is usually the most difficult) but with time it is possible to overcome it. That is why it is important to recognize that you are it is important to recognize that one is going through this phase of the break-up (which is transitory) in order to try to control this very real and painful physical and emotional experience.

2. Contact 0

When one finds oneself in the situation of leaving a relationship, continuing to have contact with the partner (with the illusion that things could be fixed) is counterproductive. This only makes it clear that there is emotional dependence and prolongs the suffering if the real intention is to be happy again and regain well-being after a relationship that has not worked.

For this reason, psychologists recommend psychologists recommend contact 0, that is to say "all or nothing".because, as it happens with drug addiction, seeing the loved one and having contact with him/her favors relapses. If we follow the logic of Classical Conditioning, exposure to the loved one reactivates the neural circuit that is involved in falling in love, so if we want to weaken it and regain emotional stability, we must be strong and break any kind of contact with the person.

In addition, if the feeling is very intense, it is even recommended to avoid contact through social networks, because these provoke some phenomena such as the FOMO Syndrome that increase obsession and suffering after a breakup..

3. Getting distracted

One of the biggest mistakes that can be made in this phase is to give free rein to obsession and intrusive thoughts, which are often common: memories and recollections pop up again and again in our mind.. That is why it is important to look for activities that force us to be distracted. Spending time with friends, studying or going to the gym work very well.

4. To fight for one's own personal development

When we leave our partner, the cost to our self-esteem is high. Therefore, we must connect with ourselves and do those things we like to do. do those things we like to do.. Things that make us grow as people and that we enjoy. Maybe studying that master's degree that motivates us so much or signing up for dance classes. You know what really makes you happy and makes your life fulfilling.