Family conflicts at Christmas: 5 practical tips on what to do

Key ideas for managing potential family conflicts at Christmas.

Despite the idyllic image of Christmas presented to us in movies, advertisements and other media, the truth is that for some people Christmas is a period that is far from that image. for some people, Christmas is a period that is far from that image..

The recollection of childhood memories linked to Christmas, the reunion with family members with whom we may not have a good relationship, the awareness of the absence of some people who will not be with us again, the memory of the Christmas season and the fact that we will never be with them again.Family conflicts at Christmas: 5 practical tips on what to do

Key ideas for managing potential family conflicts at Christmas. Despite the idyllic image of Christmas presented to us in movies, advertisements and other media, the truth is that for some people Christmas is a period that is far from that image. for some people, Christmas is a period that is far from that image.

• The memory of childhood memories linked to Christmas, getting together with relatives with whom we may not have a good relationship, the awareness of the absence of some people who will not be with us again, having to get in touch to organize Christmas with the ex-partner to be with the children and other situations can lead us to a state of anxiety that is difficult to manage. At the same time, the vacations and the longer time spent together compared to the rest of the year can increase the tensions

increase tensions in some families.

. In addition, the current health situation forces us this year to have to change some ways of organizing ourselves around these dates, which may increase some conflicts.

Conflicts and tensions during Christmas in family: what to do?

Each person has a specific situation that can cause different problems or difficulties. Separated families, recent marriages or couples reuniting with their own family and in-laws, people without family or without the possibility of reuniting with their relatives, among others, will involve different emotions and tensions to deal with. For this, it is important to keep in mind some issues that, in general, can help us to This period in a more satisfactory way

1. It is not Christmas that causes the conflict.

The root of these tensions is something that surely has a long history or a concern that we carry in different moments that involve meeting. It is interesting that we can look at this moment as an opportunity to do things differently. an opportunity to do things differently, so that we get different results.so that we get different results.

2. Let us accept that no family is perfect

It is normal that in the families there are conflicts, frictions and disagreements.

Identifying what usually causes these disagreements can help us to prevent those situations that usually trigger problems. situations that tend to trigger problems.3. Let's try to be empathetic

• Although not all scenarios are justifiable, sometimes we can think about what these conflicts mean for other people. While it obviously causes us discomfort, sometimes we can think about how it may affect a partner or children, for example. It is also necessary to understand that

each person has his or her lights and shadows

4. Set limitsSometimes expressing how we feel or what the situation is generating can help us.We can help the other person to become aware of what is happening, as well as help the conflict not to escalate. The other person may not see that what he/she is saying is offensive to us, causes discomfort or is not funny.

5. Know the times

Let's be aware that those moments of family reunion are not the time to resolve conflicts. t is not the time to resolve the conflicts we have with any of the members of the meeting.. It may be more convenient to postpone that conversation or to be able to talk privately.

How to approach the problem from the psychotherapy?

In therapy, we can approach this type of conflicts that can occur in the family. Knowing the type of relationship and communication that the person who comes to therapy and the family establish can help us to know the patterns and patterns in which these problems are based. Thus, self-knowledge about the position, function and roles that one/one plays in the family is also produced.and can redefine it if it is convenient.

Likewise, implicit and explicit rules, loyalties, myths and norms and/or taboo topics may underlie some triggers in family conflicts. Personal conflicts are also sometimes intermingled in these issues, becoming important the way we manage conflicts in general, our way of interpreting reality, internal concerns, etc.

• The consultation can become a scenario where we can prepare ourselves for these situations,
• learning communication strategies, conflict resolution and skills that help us to enjoy the meetings and reunions with the family.
• with the family. Preventing escalations, controlling emotions and getting out of previous dysfunctional behaviors and thoughts to implement more adaptive ones can be some of the techniques to be used.
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