Fear in relationships: what it is due to and how to overcome it

Fear in relationships has a great influence on love, but it also allows us to learn.

In couple relationships, human beings find the greatest learning, the greatest satisfactions, and the most relevant and transcendent experiences of our lives... but also the greatest difficulties.

Our fears and apprehensions flow in a couple's relationship with greater intensityWhat do these fears and fears lead you to? Where do they come from? And above all: how to solve them?

Fear in relationships

Human beings are naturally social, affective and emotional animals. We need the contact and the relationship with the other to know ourselves and to grow.. The "other" is a kind of mirror in which we reflect ourselves.

But the couple or sentimental relationship is different. This mirror reflects our best qualities (the capacity to love, understand and accompany, precisely through our differences) and also our deepest difficulties (fear of abandonment, the need to want to have control, the use of the partner as a reflection to exploit, jealousy, insecurities, dissatisfaction, etc.).

Learning in a couple is a learning about oneself.

The relationship in couple is a projection of the state of learning and personal development in which we are in.. Sometimes we believe that our relationship is going well just because our expectations are met, but this is usually only common in the early stages of the relationship, where two completely different people meet and unite only on the basis of their similarities and compatibilities.

As time goes by, difficulties and differences arise, in a sort of struggle of egos a kind of struggle of egos and where the greatest fears and apprehensions are felt.Where do these fears come from?

Each person has a very particular and small point of view of reality. Each person interprets reality according to their vision, belief system, self-esteem, and above all their way of managing their emotions. This makes you believe that "you are" in a certain way, you have specific needs (which are usually fictitious and are also a product of these fears or apprehensions). All these difficulties are usually reflected in the couple and the attitudes end up being defensive.. Instead of accompanying each other, we fight and try to control the other so that he or she conforms to our point of view and vision of how life should be.

The conclusion is simple: you cannot, and should not, try to control anything outside of yourself..

How fear works

Fear is a necessary, basic and fundamental emotion for survival. Fear helps you protect your life. Thus, the problem with fear and fears is not your fears per se, but the way you manage your emotions and those fears in particular.

Fears in couples are often too abstract, unrealistic, a projection of an event that has not happened..... We have learned to live according to fear not because of our past experiences, but because we have not known how to understand and manage our emotions in times of difficulty. This leaves an imprint that is reflected in the couple. However, the relationship is a perfect opportunity to clean that mark, to learn to understand and manage your emotions and to have them on your side instead of against you.

Emotion management to create trust and security and overcome fears in the couple.

The basis of everything that happens to us is in our emotions, since we are emotional beings and emotion is a constant in our lives, which not only influences our mood but also every decision we make, our behavior, the way we communicate, the way we understand life and the way we interpret situations.

Emotion management is a lifelong learning process.. It includes 3 necessary learnings: learning to understand your emotions and not to live conditioned by them, learning to manage them in a functional way with a concrete action plan, and learning to generate confidence and security in your life and that this learning is forever (because you learn mainly about yourself).

If you want to take the step, you can register for free at Emociónate within empoderamientohumano.com, where you can deepen your emotions and take the necessary steps to learn how to manage them forever and thus have them on your side instead of against you.

Relationships, with all their difficulties and hard moments, are the most revealing experience of our life because they show us who we are and, above all, who we are not. It is difficult to answer the question of who you are, but you can know who you are not: you are not all those fears, apprehensions and insecurities. Transcending them will be the key to living with well-being, both with yourself and with others.