Fear of being alone: how to detect it and how to combat it.

Tips on how to detect this form of psychological discomfort and what to do about it.

Fear of being alone is a surprisingly common psychological phenomenon.. Even in those people who apparently have many friends and are popular, it is a frequent cause for concern.

That's why if you have ever thought to yourself "I'm afraid of being alone even though I have people who love me", you should know that your case is not completely exceptional; many people feel in a very similar way.

In this case we will see how to lose the fear of being alone and overcome this fear through new habits that we can introduce little by little in our day to day.

What is the fear of being alone?

Summarized, the fear of being alone is based on a series of negative thoughts about what their future might be, which is characterized by isolation and a lack of emotional connection with people meaningful to them. and lack of emotional connection with significant others.

Thus, people who present this kind of fear are obsessed with the hypothesis that they are or could become totally helpless and without the ability to count on the company, affection and understanding of someone.

Telltale signs of this form of fear

Some of the warning signs that a person suffers from the fear of being alone are the following.

1. Need to seek human contact and push one's luck

People who fear the possibility of being alone tend to try to be at as many events as possible. tend to try to be at as many social events as possible, even if they are not really interested in being alone.even if they are not really interested in what is on offer beyond being in contact with other people.

The reason for this is that they try to meet new people, to see if someone comes along with whom they can connect (either as a couple or as a friend).

2. They have a pragmatic view of relationships.

Who does not want to be alone, mainly seeks to be with people by whose side they can spend many moments either by coincidence of interests or by the fact of having a similar personality. The idea is to go for the pragmatic and establish relationships that offer prospects for stability in the future, regardless of whether there is genuineregardless of whether there is a genuine interest in that person beyond what he or she knows how to do and what he or she likes to do.

3. Idea that the family does not count

Many times, people who are afraid of being alone do not value the fact of having family members who love them and are interested in their well-being.

This is usually because they consider (wrongly) that these relatives are by their side without having chosen it, simply because family ties have induced them to love them almost unconditionally.

As if everyone were free to do what they want except fathers, mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers, uncles and aunts, who are obliged to love those who share their blood.

4. Search for external validation

From what we have seen, in most cases those who are afraid of being alone are afraid of being judged negatively by others, which in turn makes them often not express themselves as they are in front of others. The latter, in turn, makes them feel more isolated and with a greater need to establish relationships. and with a greater need to establish meaningful relationships.

What can you do to overcome it?

Follow these tips to tips to combat the fear of being alone and not let it determine the way you relate to others.

1. Choose quality over quantity

Instead of constantly attending events that tell you nothing, start going to those that have something genuine to offer you. Stop worrying about your number of interactions with relative strangers and your social life will become much more fluid and spontaneous.

2. Stop judging and judging yourself

There are many stigmas that do a lot of damage to the quality of social relationships and keep us isolated from people who could be important in our lives, if we were to discover them.

So, don't shy away from making plans with those you really care about, even if those connections are outside the realm of the real world.Even if those connections outside the social circles in which you usually move could earn you criticism. The judgment of someone who doesn't approve of you going with those you really care about shouldn't be relevant to you.

In addition, to make this recommendation work, you should be the first person to stop judging others for any excuse, as this will mature you to the point that being criticized for certain things will seem ridiculous.

3. Demystify rejection

Rejection is just that, a lack of interest in having a certain kind of relationship with you.. It does not mean that the other person hates you, or that they are not interested in you at all, or that there are reasons why their judgment of you is accurate or more relevant than that of other people who care about you very much.

4. Learn to love loneliness

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone, without people around. These moments can be used in many ways, and we even have a greater ability to choose what to do, since we do not depend on the intentions and intentions of others. we do not depend on the intentions and preferences of others..

So, spend that time reading, meditating, exercising or any of the hundreds of activities whose benefits will extend beyond that time and place and will make you gain experience in something in which you like to progress.

In short, to overcome the fear of being alone, it is as useful to love solitude as it is to stop obsessing about not being alone.