Fear of being homosexual: what is it and how is it expressed?

Let's see how is the fear of being homosexual, an individual and also a social problem.

It is clear that human beings are characterized by a great variety of differentiated behaviors, both in individuals and within groups and society in general. However, few variables in terms of behavioral patterns and psychological predispositions receive as much attention as the expression of sexual orientation.

Historically, this concept has been linked to a strong stigma; a stigma oriented towards forms of sexuality considered unconventional, such as homosexuality. Moreover, this is not only exercised from society towards the individual who sees himself as a minority, but also settles in the minds of individuals, many of whom adopt a kind of "inner police", a tendency to try to control one's thoughts and cues of forms of sexual desire and attraction to avoid. This gives shape to the psychological problem of the fear of being homosexualwhich has harmful effects both on oneself and on society.

What is it and how is the fear of being homosexual expressed: a double problem.

The first thing to know is that the fear of being homosexual is not a concept that appears in an "official" way (that is to say, standardized and conceptually delimited from the scientific consensus) that appears in the diagnostic manuals as for example the DSM-5.

However, that does not mean that an approximation cannot be made to what it reflects, and that it is very real: many people suffer and develop behavioral and thought regulation patterns that are harmful and that have to do with trying to avoid being homosexual and/or showing themselves as such. In fact, there has been research on this phenomenon for years..

Elements of this form of distress

In general, it is understood that the fear of being homosexual is composed of these elements.

Homophobia

Homophobia does not necessarily have to be expressed as hatred of homosexuals; it can also be more subtle and more subtle.It can also be more subtle and be based on the idea that homosexuality is a bad thing and is therefore a cause for shame wherever it occurs. In many cases we speak of internalized homophobia, applied especially in homosexual people who believe that this sexual orientation in itself is a problem, something inherently bad.

In addition, homophobia is linked to a tendency to detect unconventional or unconventional forms of gender expression, making them very important in oneself and in others. For example, it is known that in men there is a correlation between the predisposition to homophobia and the fear of being perceived as feminine.

On the other hand, along with the homophobia present in individuals, it must also be taken into account that in many aspects there are still cultural elements and inertias there are still cultural elements and social inertia that perpetuate the existence of homophobia: it does not come out spontaneously.The following is an example of homophobia: it does not come out spontaneously in people, but in a certain sense they see things in their environment that lead them to think that they should view non-heterosexuality with bad eyes or with suspicion.

2. Obsessive thoughts

In this context of Clinical Psychology, obsessions are patterns of occurrence of intrusive and distress-generating thoughts that appear in our consciousness in an undesired manner and predispose us to try to alleviate the discomfort they generate urgently, performing behaviors that counteract the effect of the former.

For example, in the case of people who experience fear of being homosexual, it is common that when unpleasant ideas come to mind that make them doubt their sexuality, they feel the need to test what they believe to be true. the need to put to the test what attracts them, either by engaging inThis can be done either by performing sexual behaviors interacting with others or with the environment, or by performing "thought testing" tasks, mental experiments that serve to refute this unpleasant idea for them. As we will see, this can become a real diagnosable psychopathology.

3. Social fears and erosion of self-esteem

As a consequence of the above, people who are afraid of being homosexual feel that they have an Achilles heel, a psychological vulnerability that can be exploited by others if they find out what is going on (something enhanced by the fact that there is still a stigma on non-heterosexuality, in some countries even with legal and institutional embodiment).

This generates a vicious circle effect, causing the person to give even more importance to the issue of their sexual orientation in order to be alert and avoid, if they were really homosexual, others noticing him/her..

OCD based on fear of being gay or lesbian

As we have seen, the fear of being homosexual works like a fish that bites its own tail: the idea produces discomfort, and the desire to get the idea out of one's head because of the discomfort it generates, makes it even stronger and more able to capture attention. and more capacity to capture the person's attention. That makes that, even in extreme cases, a person who has never really felt sexual attraction for someone of his or her sex develops this kind of fear, having had a "snowball" effect of obsessions, fears and insecurities.

Sometimes even the fear of being homosexual fits into the symptom picture of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which makes sense considering that in this psychopathology obsessions can take almost any form as long as they are considered something that is "outside the norm" or what should be.

It is estimated that about 11% of people with typical OCD symptomatology suffer or have suffered from obsessions associated with their sexual orientation. In addition, these types of symptoms tend to appear somewhat earlier in males, although this type of psychological problem can occur at almost any age.

Looking for psychological help?

Fears and anxiety problems related to our experience of sexual orientation can be overcome through psychotherapy.

If you are looking for professional help, contact me. At Azor & Associates we have more than 20 years of experience in the field of Psychology, and we will be happy to help you either in person (in Madrid) or online. You will find our contact details on this page.

Bibliographical references:

• Martínez, C.; Vázquez , C. & Falomir-Pichastor, J.M.. (2015). Perceived Similarity With Gay Men Mediates the Effect of Antifemininity on Heterosexual Men's Antigay Prejudice. Journal of Homosexuality, 62(11): pp. 1560 - 1575.
• Meyer, I.H. (2007). Prejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations: Conceptual Issues and Research Evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5): pp. 674 - 697.
• Pinto, A.; Eisen, J.L.; Mancebo, M.C.; et al. (2007). Taboo thoughts and doubt/checking: A refinement of the factor structure for obsessive compulsive disorder symptoms. Psychiatry Research, 151: pp. 255 - 258.
• Williams, M.T.; Farris, S.G. (2011). Sexual orientation obsessions in obsessive-compulsive disorder: prevalence and correlates. Psychiatry Research, 187(1-2): pp. 156 - 159.