FoMO: being hooked on networks for fear of missing out on something

Some people develop a strong fear of missing out on experiences that others are having.

The fear of missing out, known by the acronym FoMO (Fear of Missing Out), can be defined as a generalized apprehension of being absent from rewarding experiences in which others are participating..

This syndrome is characterized by the desire to be continually connected to what others are doing, which often involves spending a great deal of time on social networks.

Participating in social networks becomes an effective option for those who want to be continuously connected to others. for those who want to be continually connected to what's going on.

The social networks, an attempt to cover our needs

Self-determination theory gives us a perspective on human psychological needs and constitutes an interesting point of view for understanding FoMO.

According to this theory, effective self-regulation and psychological health are based on the satisfaction of three basic psychological needs: competence, autonomy and relatedness. Competence is the ability to act effectively in the world, autonomy consists of having self-authorship or personal initiative, and relatedness is defined as the need for closeness or connection with others.

According to this point of view the phenomenon of FoMO can be understood as a system of self-regulation of a chronic deficit in the satisfaction of psychological needs..

Following this line, low levels of satisfaction of our basic needs would be related to FoMO and participation in social networks in two ways.

On the one hand, there would be a direct connection between individuals with low levels of satisfaction and participation in social networks, social networks being a resource for keeping in touch with others, a tool for developing social competence and an opportunity to deepen social ties.The latter being a resource for keeping in touch with others, a tool for developing social competence and an opportunity to deepen social ties.

On the other hand, the connection between participation in social networks and the satisfaction of basic needs would also be indirect, i.e., through the FoE, which would be a means to keep in touch with others.that is, through the FoMO. Given that deficits in needs may lead some people to a general susceptibility to the fear of missing out, it is possible that these unmet psychological needs are connected to the use of social networks only to the extent that they are connected to the FoMO. In other words, the fear of missing out could serve as a mediator that connects unmet psychological needs to social network use.

We can keep track of about 150 people

According to the anthropologist Robin Dumbar, the number of people who can relate to each other in a given system is conditioned by the size of our cerebral neocortex, so that in the case of our species we would be talking about about 150 individuals.

Our current brain is not very different from the brain of our prehistoric ancestors, these ancestors lived in clans of approximately 150 individuals so our brain would have evolved to keep in touch with this number of people.

According to a 2011 estimate, a Facebook user has an average of 150 "friends" and a friend of any user has, on average, 635 followers.

Considering that the size of our neocortex is what it is, we can ask ourselves if these relationships are so real. wonder if these relationships are as real as we sometimes think they are..

Not all forms of social interaction are equal

We are social animals, that is a fact. We have a series of affective and belonging needs that must be satisfied; we are nourished by our relationship with others in the same way that we are nourished by the food we eat. However, just as not all food just as not all foods offer the same quality of nutrients, not all forms of relationship are the same.. It is possible to be obese and undernourished at the same time because the quantity of kcal is not synonymous with the quality of food.

Continuing with this comparison, we could see certain uses of social networks as the fast food of human relationships.

The Anglo-Saxons have a term known as "quality time" which refers not so much to the amount of time people spend with their loved ones as to the quality of this time. This quality time would be the gourmet food of social relationships.

Spending too much time on networks can harm our well-being.

Some research suggests that digital media can have a self-reflective may have a diminishing effect on self-reflection and, ultimately, diminish well-being..

This phenomenon of always being in communication offered to us by communication technologies could distract us from important social experiences in the here and now. In Plato's words, it would be like preferring the shadows of the cave to the reality outside.

This syndrome can be a source of discouragement or depressive feelings in part because it reduces one's sense of making the best decisions in life.

Better to repent sooner

Bronnie Were wrote a book entitled "The Five Regrets of the Dying" in which she describes the major learnings she made from the people she treated as a palliative care professional.

It seems that most people, at the end of most people, at the end of their lives, regret not having done what they really wanted to do, rather than what others expected them to do. It is also common to regret not having had the courage to express one's feelings or not having spent time with old friends.

In short, we seem to regret more what we have not done than what we have done. We should therefore often ask ourselves whether we are spending our time in the way that makes us truly happy - always within our means.

Avoidance of discomfort can lead to compulsion to network.

Research on the motivations for using social networks indicates that Avoidance of unpleasant feelings such as loneliness or boredom compels the use of Facebook..

Similarly, lack of satisfaction with our relationships would lead to the use of networks. We can conclude that social networks constitute an escape route for emotional and social frustration. Compulsive escape from discomfort is a tendency that is at the basis of most addictive behaviors (not to say that it is at the basis of most emotional disorders).

A vicious circle is generated: the discomfort leads to the compulsive behaviorThe compulsive behavior, which temporarily frees us from the discomfort but makes this compulsion become addictive by means of a learning mechanism - often unconscious - known as negative reinforcement. Repeating this over and over again generates less tolerance to discomfort and greater need for the compulsive habit.

Beyond the psychological dangers - and although it may seem obvious - it is worth remembering that a compelling desire to be constantly connected is potentially dangerous when it leads people to check networks even while driving.

To choose is to give up

Humans have an intellect that allows them to make decisions with a wider range of options than any other known species. This is a great evolutionary advantage but it is also a source of headaches because at the moment I choose between A and B, if I choose A I am giving up B. This means that if we only have time and money to study one career we will have to give up the other possible options.

In the same way, if we are not connected to the networks because we are doing something else, we may be missing out on something else. And, by the way, if we spend too much time on the networks we may be missing out on life because (let's not forget), we are not going to live forever.