Fortunata syndrome: symptoms, causes and treatment.

A syndrome based on fantasies and optimistic beliefs about an impossible love.

Love is one of the forces and emotions that move and motivate us the most. Living as a couple increases life expectancy, facilitates the acquisition of attitudes such as tolerance and negotiation, allows us to share joys and receive support in bad times, as well as softening pain, suffering and stress.

If the relationship is good, it is often a source of joy, satisfaction and motivation, even though it is natural that there may be conflicts and that it may also entail some limitations and suffering.

However, not all affective relationships are positive and functional, but can lead to profoundly maladaptive behaviors, generating suffering or limiting either for one or both of the components of the relationship. This is what happens in the case of the so-called Fortunata syndrome, which involves and is a type of emotional dependence on another person. towards another person. It is about this syndrome that we are going to talk here.

The syndrome of Fortunata: definition and characteristics

It receives the name of syndrome of Fortunata to a maladaptive, anomalous and little functional way of relating that some people maintain towards the person object of romantic and affective-sexual interest. Specifically, Fortunata's syndrome is characterized by the establishment of relationships of dependence towards married people, often establishing themselves in the role of their lover..

Among the main characteristics or symptoms of the syndrome is the presence of a feeling of deep infatuation towards the object of desire, which persists over time and regardless of the existence of a current relationship.

A deep loyalty and self-sacrifice is shown towards the person and it is common to consider that life without the person in love is meaningless, with a strong attachment to the person in love.The dependence is absolute, with a strong attachment to the loved one that can last for years or even decades.

The dependence is absolute, being able to do any house that the object of their love asks them and being able to forgive, justify or overlook any action or lie of this or this. In addition, they only feel attraction for that person and leave aside other possible opportunities and relationships, and they can even leave everything (work, family, home...) for it.

In these people also there is the presence of utopian and extremely optimistic beliefs and fantasies that things will change, that the loved one will end up leaving his/her current relationship in order to be together. regarding that things will change, that the loved one will end up leaving his/her current relationship in order to be together, and there is usually the belief that one has more right to be with him/her than the current relationship. There are frequent daydreams and a focus on information that favors the presence of interest on the part of the loved one.

With respect to the woman or man married to the object of desire, the person with Fortunata syndrome maintains an ambivalent attitude: on the one hand he/she considers her a rival whom he/she despises and considers that he/she is taking something of his/her own from him/her, while on the other hand he/she may show empathy, admiration or desire to be like her/him. It is considered that it is mere chance or bad luck that the loved one is married and that something will happen that will make him/her end up with her/him.

It is a syndrome that is not considered a psychiatric disorder or a pathology, although it has characteristics that can be dysfunctional and generate great suffering over time.However, it has characteristics that can be dysfunctional and generate great suffering over time. In fact, there may be obsessive, borderline personality or even delusional characteristics, and in itself implies a toxic relationship between both parties that can lead to the emergence of abusive behaviors.

As a general rule, those affected are usually heterosexual women, although it can also occur between same-sex couples, whether male or female. It should be noted that the syndrome is not necessarily identified with the fact of being a lover: it is possible that affective-sexual relations are maintained, but it can also occur unilaterally.

Origin of the term

Fortunata syndrome owes its name to the well-known novel Fortunata and Jacintaby Benito Pérez Galdós. In this novel Fortunata is in love with Juan Santa Cruz, who however is married to Jacinta. Juan and Fortunata establish a lovers' relationship, Fortunata wishing to be in Jacinta's position, but Juan is not willing to leave Jacinta.

Fortunata ends up becoming a prostitute and even gets married, but she remains Juan's mistress for years believing that he should be her real husband and even has children with him, while her thoughts about Jacinta go from anger to admiration and the consideration that both are equally legitimate, considering that the whole situation is justified by the love she feels. All these characteristics, as we have seen, are not uncommon in the syndrome described above.

Possible causes of this dependent relationship

There are multiple causes that can lead to the emergence of this syndrome.and several authors have tried to offer an explanation to its origin. Among them, some of the most common and the ones that have given most attention to the syndrome are those of a psychodynamic type.

Some authors propose that it is a way of putting into practice the masochistic tendencies of those who suffer from it. It has also been proposed that this way of relating is a reflection of a poorly resolved Oedipus complex, which causes an attraction to married people such as the parent of the opposite sex and an ambivalent relationship with the third person with whom one competes (the person of the same sex or the "mother" in the case of women).

Other hypotheses state that this is a learned relational pattern, such as occurs in the habitual dependent personality, in which self-sacrifice and giving everything for the other without taking into account one's own needs is conceived as something virtuous and courageous and that everything should be allowed and accepted out of love. and courageous and that everything should be allowed and accepted out of love. Feelings of grief and guilt may arise in case the separation or the cessation of their love may generate Pain in the other.

It is also frequent in women and men subjected to a restrictive and rigid education, as well as in people with low self-esteem, insecurity and need to be accepted.

In addition to this it is common to have excessive and distorted expectations of what romantic love is, full of inappropriate myths and misconceptions.It is full of maladaptive myths and distorted beliefs about what cohabitation implies. Finally, from the cognitive-behavioral perspective, the role of reinforcement in the maintenance of this syndrome has been explored: the presence of the loved one acts as an immediate reinforcer, something that together with the fear and avoidance of loneliness causes the behavior and the dependent thought pattern to be maintained.

How to treat this problem

Treating Fortunata syndrome is complex and involves a set of strategies very similar to those employed in dependent personality disorder. The first step is to analyze the patient's thoughts, beliefs and emotions about romantic love and romantic love.The first thing to do is to analyze the patient's thoughts, beliefs and emotions about romantic love and about his or her relationship with his or her object of desire.

Once this has been done, it will be possible to try to work on the awareness of the problem of the attachment or the focus on the married person, gradually restructuring the subject's cognitions and making him/her see the suffering and the limitations it generates, as well as the factors that are participating in the origin and maintenance of the problem.

It is also necessary to work on the disengagement with respect to the person in question and the prevention of responses so that he/she does not relapse with the same person or does not re-establish another equally dysfunctional relationship.

Subsequently, the presence of myths and beliefs regarding romantic love can be restructured, and then techniques such as exposure with response prevention to tasks and situations without thinking or linking to the object of desire can be applied. Self-esteem and the acquisition of independence, as well as the focus on oneself, should also be worked on.